Holiday 2008
Saturday 11 th
of October 2008
and I woke up after 11 hours sleep, good sleep. When I woke up my first thought was:
- Where am I?
After almost 24 hour’s travel it was nice to get a good night’s sleep, and that's even though I had
planned for a Friday night on town.And I left for a Friday night on town, but as soon as we passed the first corner with the TAXI I was asleep. So I asked the driver to take me back home.
Before falling to sleep I called my Teacher and Monday morning at 9 I will start my morning school.
I will call my afternoon school on Monday and hopefully I will get a full day on Monday
with GYM between morning and afternoon classes.
And I needed the sleep. I left Bro Provider just after 9 o'clock in the morning and I was on Houston international at 1130. We made 2 stops for a diet drink and a stop at the Immigration on the way so you understand that it's a 2 hours ride from Beaumont to Houston.
Immigration was a quick business even though we had a chat about the good old times with the Immigration Officer. When I stepped in at the Immigration office I was met with a smile and a handshake.
- So it's time to go home. Do you go to your hotel?
- Straight to the airport, I said.
We talked about the good ol' times while he was stamping my paper work and I was out of there. US Immigration and the people working there, well, not known to be very likable and sympathetic. But these 2 Immigration Officers in Beaumont is 2 of the nicest guys I ever meet. For sure the nicest Immigration officers I ever meet.
I remember Port Arthur with Barcarolle, Captain Kid was on the jetty helping us with the gangway. He was chasing people in charge of the trains and he was arranging all the train sets on the jetty so we could take our provision.
We left the Immigration office with screamin' and smokin' tyres and, well, how can I put this? USA, supposed to be a rich and civilized country. I'm glad not to live there, for sure.
- Looks like we're driving through a shanty town in Africa or South America, I said to the driver
- It's after the hurricane Ike, the driver said.
- Looked the same before the hurricane, I said.
- I know what you mean.
During the ride to the airport we passed, not many nice houses, but plenty condemned houses and abandoned car wrecks. Shit and debris all over the place, and eyesore and embarrassment.
- Back in the days the rest of the word looked up to USA. But now it's all shit, I said.
- Yeah, things turn to shit. Since 9-11 everything is downhill around here.
- Yeah, this war on terror has for sure not given you any extra point in the goodwill department, I said.
All you hear from Afghanistan is how many civilians that got killed during the day. Who the hell is responsible? Should be in jail! And what the hell do they hope to achieve there. A rock will be a rock no matter what they do? And all the Americans you meet think it's a lost cause and embarrassment. Back in the day’s people liked USA, but today it's a different story.
- USA is no good. Bombing civilians!
Well, it's a shame that it has turned this way. Maybe they will put me on a list over terrorists for writing this stuff, for sure there is a place available on the list since North Korea is taken away from the list. This is a country they could have made to a Disneyland and Kim il jong or what the
hell his name is should be sent to imprisonment with hard labour.
Well, if they put me on a list over suspect people I think I can live with it. We are without legal rights, they just claim that you're a terrorist and off to jail you go.
But still, I'm better off now than in a few years when China is running the show. Who knows, suddenly they starts to demand list of terror suspected people and then you might be considered as a terrorist if you want to use a safety belt while working aloft. Or if you want a gasmask while spray painting or if you just simply want to wear a green t-shirt.
After check in at KLM's desk in Houston I passed the security and I as off to have
my lunch. The lunch turned out to be my worst meal in a very long time. All served on plastic plates and plastic cutlery.
- HOW THE BIP
IS IT POSSIBLE TO F@CK UP DEEP FRIED MOZZARELA?
I was most disappointed when I left the, I'm not
going to call it a restaurant, greasy spoon joint. I went to gate D9 with a stop to buy a book and I bought a bag of potato chips and a diet drink. I was reading my book while watching the runway with one eye when my flight arrived.
There wasn't very much else to do on the airport. Houston International will not make it high on my “Fun airports in the world” list. 
their Jumbo jets, most of them are freighters and half the machine is cargo space and most of the time flying KLM it's
a full flight.
That's why I gave up my GOLD frequent flyer member ship, and of course, the fact that it was impossible to book your reward tickets helped me in my decision. I had several free round trips, Europe - FUNKY TOWN and all I got out of it was 1 round trip.
Boarding the flight and we were off in time, a pleasant surprise. Must be the first time this happens and I was in for my second pleasant surprise when we taxi out to the runway.
- This is the Captain speaking! Welcome on board ...blah-blah-bla...8 hours 20 minutes flight .... blah-blah-bla.....
- 8 hours!! On my flight details it is 9 hours 30 minutes!
8 hours, after 30 minutes I was about to commit suicide. Seat at the exit and I could stretch my
legs. Perfect, if I just had 50 cm less between my back pockets.
I spent the flight doing two things:
• Wishing the flight could come to an end
• Thinking about me on the GYM
Impossible to sleep so out of consideration of my two fellow passengers I moved my arse across the exit aisle and I spent most of the flight on the flight attendant’s rest seat.
- This is Captain speaking....blah-blah-bla....we are descending to Amsterdam.....
Time for me to get my arse back in my seat. I had to take a run from a few meters away trying
to gain momentum (not easy running backwards on a plane) hopping that I could squeeze my arse down between the armrests with pure force. The guys next to me supported me with
joyous acclamation:
- Atta boy!
- Come on!
It was nice when I stepped in at Schiphol leaving the Houston - Amsterdam flight behind. But I must say that the guys next to me were very nice and we cracked a few jokes over the Atlantic Ocean. OK, we arrived 1 hour before expected (that I had expected) and I had about 12 hours before it was time to board the 11 hour's flight to FUNKY TOWN.
Weather in Amsterdam, +6°C and I had to go to the toilet to change from shorts to panta longas. I have not had panta longas since, well, yeah. It was several years ago. But luckily enough I had a pair in my carry on.
I bought a train ticket and I was in Amsterdam before the shop had open. I was looking for Dutch Hip Hop. I had a cup of tea and a sandwich while waiting for the shops to open. Well, the first shop I went to was closed and didn't open until 10 o'clock.
I walked the walking street from Dam Plein towards Rembrandt Plein when I passed a record shop
with open doors.
- Do you have any Dutch Hip Hop?
- We're not open until 0930!
I stepped out on the street and I waited a few minutes and it was 0930. The girl took all the records they had with Dutch
Hip Hip and I took on the head phones. I listened to the CDs, yeah, I have plenty time to spend. The music was good and I bought everything she got.
- Can't wait to get home to play me new CDs “FULL BLAST”
I continued my walk towards Rembrandt Plein with a stop at the photo shop where our Bosun on Prospero bought his camera a few years back. I looked at a camera, just to compare prices between USA and Europe. I'm not going to buy any camera today, I don't want to carry around several kg trotting around Amsterdam.
Early morning and the weather were getting nice. I could have had my shorts with no problem, well,
never mind. Walking the streets and on a beautiful morning with the smell of marijuana over the whole place.
- Yeah, they are not allowed to smoke inside if they mix it with tobacco.
That explained the smell, but I could still see some people sitting smoking inside so I guess those were the healthy drug addicts
not mixing it with tobacco. What an f@cking joke this EU has turned out to be. Snus is not allowed, but taking drugs is OK as longas you don't mix it with tobacco. 
room. I need a shower and I will watch TV for a few hours trying to avoid sleep. I'm dead tired after 24 hours on the go. But if I sleep it will be impossible to sleep during my last flight.
Turned out it was the same hotel KLM put us on a 
few years back when I should sign on Bro Anton. The airplane broke down and we had to stay overnight on a hotel.
I spent a few hours in the room and I had 3 showers before leaving at 5 o'clock. I was on the airport 10 minutes later and I started with tea and a sandwich before going through the Immigration. First stop after Immigration was the tax free, 2 bags of Vodka and then I was off to the electronics.
I have this girl taking care of my flowers while I'm gone and I decided to buy her an iPod.
- Can I see your boarding pass?
- Of course, I said handing him my boarding pass.
- This is not a boarding pass! This is your ticket!
- No, it's my boarding pass!
- I have seen millions of boarding passes and this is not a boarding pass!
I lost my temper.
- Hey! Nitwit! It says BOARDING PASS in big letters all over the f@cking BOARDING PASS! Motherf@cker!
This guy was at least to say dim. Not the brightest shining light in the solarium.
I don't know if it's just me. But I have noticed a remarkable change since 7/11. The war on terror is in full swing and the people working on the airports takes is seriously, and rightly so. But
as a passenger you are without any rights. They put farmer John at the luggage scanner.
- Look for bombs!
I feel confident, really, I do. I'm coming home and I find my 4000 US laptop f@cked up. I discovered that my suitcase wasn't properly closed at FUNKY TOWN luggage claim. So they have searched my suitcase for bombs but they can’t not even close the lid on the lap top, and my lap top was busted. And how the BIPING BIP do we expect them to find a bomb when they don’t know how to close the suitcase.
- Good job farmer John!
A few years ago when I still was a frequent flyer with KLM I passed the security. I had 2laptops and a female Security Officer. Believe me, she was stupid and I was close to be grounded on terrorist charges. They use the epithet terrorist for everyone they don't like today.
- 2+2=5
- No, it's 4
- 2+2=5
- No, it's 4
- 2+2=5
- No, it's 4
- 2+2=5
- Are you f@cking stupid?
- OK, you're grounded. You're a terrorist!
- Yeah, you won't ground me for being TOO diplomatic, motherf@cker!
Amsterdam - FUNKY TOWN was a full flight. I took my seat and I popped 3 sleeping pills and the last thing I heard was Captain on the PA system.
- This is the Captain speaking! Welcome on board ...blah-blah-bla...10 hours flight .... blah-blah-bla.....
- 10 hours!! On my flight details it is 11 hours!
I woke up 2 hours before arrival and it turned out to have been a pretty good flight, OK, it required 3 sleeping pills. It was nice when I had passed the custom with all my Vodka, green lane, of course. I was on my way to the TAXI when one of the Custom Officers came running after me screaming. He checked my bag, full of Vodka.
- OK, this will be a hefty fine. I hope he don't see my second bag, I thought.
He checked my second tax free bag and he asked if I had any cigarettes.
- No!
- OK, he said and left.
Thursday 16 th of October 2008 and it's finally time to go to the gym. OK, I know, you have been under the impression that I was at the gym Monday, morning school and evening school. Well,
honestly, I didn't leave my condo during the whole day.
I had a raving hangover and I thought I was better off spending Monday in bed. Sunday was terrible, I don't know what time I got home, but it was during the wee
hours and waking up was not a nice experience. B-12, I had a fistful and they helped to mitigate the hangover, but just enough so I could go have dinner with 2 sisters. I was surprised, even though the hangover was raving I managed to be witty.
Sunday and hangover kind of comes with the territory. I ended up at Banglamphu and I meet my friend on a bar. From there on it's pretty much a gap in my memory. And it was not like the pictures in my phone helped me to remember anything. But there was a video and obviously we had been watching a band playing at Banglamphu, but I remember exactly F all.
Tuesday and I got away to my evening school and I stopped at the gym to pick up my membership card. Looks like a credit card and I not miss a chance to use this card. Not necessarily at California WOW. I think I will find the best use for the card when shopping. A beautiful girl
working as cashier and I pay with your credit card. You hand over the membership card to the gym.
- You cannot pay with this! This is a member ship to a gym!
- Oh, sorry for that!
She will be impressed by the fact that I'm a member at a gym and while I hand over my credit card she will think that this “soon to be” handsome guy can be the catch of her life time.
Well, I have been home for almost a week and now it's nice to be back on the track, finally. Morning and evening school and gym, OK, I know what you think.
- Soon weekend and it will be the same story next week!
- NO, the hard part is to start things up.
Next Monday things are already on track and moving, hangover or not, it's just to get there. When you suffer from a severe hangover it's not all that easy to arrange for school and classes. Ok, I have been waiting for my friend to be ready for the gym, it's not all that fun to go there alone. At least not the first time and for sure, I don't want to meet the girl I meet when I was drunk. Yeah, I ran in to one of the girls 5 o'clock in the morning a few months ago. Disco and she was both smoking and drinking beer. I don't remember what I said to her and I have done everything to avoid her ever since. So, run in to her, alone and with a hangover is not a desirable situation.
But of course we remember the girl from last time I was on the gym.
- You're so handsome!
- WHAT!!?? ARE YOU ON DRUGS??!!
OK, I admit that for an old fart
like me it was a nice boost for my self-confidence.
And the times turn so fast. My lap top, I called Dell and I hope that they will send a service guy to fix my lap top. OK, I can use the darn thing, but I can’t close the lid. Hopefully it will be OK when I'm off to school in Manila.
And I wake up, or at least try to, every morning.
During the day I discover a lot of things that I need to do. So I'm under a lot of stress to do all this stuff. But I'm ending up rushing and tearing about and nothing happens.
- OK, I go up early tomorrow morning and I have time to do all the stuff.
And to use my mobile as the alarm clock, great. Every time the alarm goes off I'm too tired to see which of the (very small) buttons I push. The alarm stops and I fall asleep again. Luckily enough I just pushed the snooze button and the alarm goes off again 10 minutes later. If I had been using my alarm clock I had just turned it off and I had keep on sleeping for several hours.
Anyway, coming out of bed and I have forget all the “important” stuff I had to do. It springs to mind in the evening and it's the same story every day. Suddenly it's 10 o'clock in the evening and I'm supposed to be off to bed. But there is always a little something more to do and I end up going to be after midnight.
But today I'm finally ready to face all the girls at California WOW, especially the girls at the Pilates. So I'm off to the gym and you can entertain yourself by listening to Dutch Hip Hop, Vandaag with The Opposites. When you're ready you can go to a GOOD
record store near you and buy the CD. We need to support artists like this so they can continue making good music. So open your valets and start spend money!
If you haven't bought Nat Ill & Static's last CD, (I'm sure it's just a matter of time) you got a last chance for a taster below.
step in through the door coming home last Friday, turning on the entertainment center first thing and to have Dutch Hip Hop on full blast within a few seconds.
My neighbours? Well, we remember the girl living next door. She always said hello to me when we meet and after 100 times I just had to ask her who she was.
- I'm your neighbour!
A few months later they were moving and I asked why.
- We look for something cheaper.
- So it was not because I played music?
- No, I and my brother though it was kind of cool. Mom & dad didn't thought it was all that cool.
What the BIP
went wrong? Monday morning and I skipped my morning school. And my gym pretty much went the same way. Motherf@nker! I'm too old for this. Monday and you really don't deserve waking up with a force 9,6 hangover, just imagine how I felt yesterday.
Yesterday, I got out of bed at 1730 after 1 million of calls from my friends sitting at our restaurant drinking beer.
It started at lunch, “Come here, we're having a drink”
- I will not leave bed today!
After the 25th call I told them that I was on my way hopping for the calls to end.
- Are you on the way?
- Not exactly! I'm still in bed! I'm coming!
Can't they leave me alone? I'm about to throw myself from my balcony. We had been drinking both Friday and Saturday night and that was many years ago I managed to pull that trick. Well,
school and gym turns you in to a teenager again.
Last call was at 1730.
- Where are you?
- I'm in bed! But I managed to get my socks on!
- Ah va fan e d för nåt?
- OK, I'm coming.
I regretted myself as soon as I stepped outside my door and it didn't get any better arriving to the restaurant. All the guys from yesterday (except one, his wife got him under curfew) where sitting there.
- Where did you disappear yesterday?
- ME!!?? MOTHERF@CKERS??!! Suddenly I found myself alone with
3 angry Americans. And what was the story with the police?
I was listening to good music (full blast) minding my own business when suddenly the police came bursting in. OK, I must admit that the music had been a
little on the high side, but its Saturday for Christ sake. We were on the way to Banglamphu and yesterday I had promised a
DJ to bring him some HOT European music. So I had my pockets full of CDs.
Well, the police came in and the first thing they caught sight of is, yeah, Aladdin behind the bar pouring drinks. A BIG NO NO in Funky Town. But what the, there were 4 or 5 of us and you know, sitting along a bar screaming to the guy on your far end. Well, my master plan was to go behind the bar. Easier to socializing and I could always keep a hand on the entertainment center. One thing gave the
other, suddenly, well, the good music and our friends made it such a homelike atmosphere and suddenly I found myself pouring drinks becoming the good host. No one complained, definitely not the owner. You should see the amount of bills in my cup.
- You have to close the bar! The police said.
A storm of protests and we were almost kicking the police out
of there.
- OK! You have to close the bar for 5 minutes! The police said. Translated to: As soon as the Police is out of there we will turn on the music again and we can live with that.
Friday and then Saturday, my good morning beer at 1230 and
I deserved to feel the way I did Sunday and Monday. OK, miss school and gym for one day is something I can live with. As long as it’s not becoming a habit.
Time turns quick and it's soon time to spend 2 weeks in Manila again and as soon as my hangover is a goner I will have to book my hotel room again. And last time staying at Oxford suites with no problem so I guess I will give it a try again. But this time I will skip
breakfast in the restaurant. I will buy pumpernickel and tea and stay in my room, away from cheese omelettes and sausages and stuff.
OK, that's for now and I hope this was the last time for the rest of my life I was drunk both Friday and Saturday. Manila, last time, OK, that's what we call force majeure. But this last weekend, I have nothing to say for my defence. OK, d e Maskens fel.
That's a good one, I will blame it on Masken. We have my Italian adventure fresh in mind. I woke
up on the floor in Roma with half of the Italian Greenpeace looking down at me. 8 o'clock in the morning and I think it's easy for you to understand how I felt when I opened my eyes.
- Where am I? All this people?! WATER! What did I do yesterday? Take me out of here!
The only thing I could say was:
- It's Masken! Yes, it is his fault!
- Do you want breakfast?
- I have a life saving telephone call I must attend to in my hotel room (looking at my wrist watch)
in about 45 seconds.
- SEE YA LATER!
Well, morning school and gym, skipped. But I went for my afternoon class and it was nice to be back in the class room. And it was fun, most of the times its fun. But some days is like walking in
tar. You don't learn anything and you're not in your best mood when you leave the school.
And the tones, 5 different tones and I can hear no difference. Well, I can hear the difference, but when you speak. And imagine after a few beer. OK, below are 2 examples. And after this there should be no doubt in your mind that this is not a lesson you want to attend to with a hangover force 9,8.
Well, time to spend a few days on the beach. It has been a week with no gym and just a little school. The last few days I have had a Skåning living in my apartment. He is moving to Thailand and he is here to look for an apartment, at the beach. Sunday and he was returning to the beach,
luckily enough we spent Saturday night eating dinner only. So I only had a little hangover from Friday night.
Well, Sunday, a slight hangover from Friday nights excitement and brainlessness. But luckily enough it didn't turned unpleasant and the Police never showed up. Well, anyway, not what I can remember.
My friend was ready to leave for the beach Sunday afternoon and I thought “what the heck, I can skip a few classes” and I joined him for
the beach. I will be back home for class on Wednesday. I called
my school and I told them that I was sick.
- I VERY sickand I will not be back until Wednesday!
Sunday was spent drinking soda water so I was full of vim when the reveille was beaten at 0900 Monday morning. Breakfast at 10 o'clock and we were
off to check a condominium next to the hotel. Smack on the beach, but the apartments were, well, not nice.
It was studios and if you wanted a 2 room apartment you had to buy 2 studios and knock down the wall between then. Yeah, you understand what you have to do if you
want a 3 room apartment. Walking through the aisle was like walking pass prison cells, well or at a hotel.
We were talking with an Italian lady owning 3 apartments, all 3 were for sale and I don't think she will find it easy to sell them.
We left the place and the Italian lady behind, my friend
had checked out a place he wanted to rent 2 weeks ago. On the way to the apartment we passed California WOW.
We were looking for it Sunday evening but we could not find it. Already when we left FUNKY TOWN the plan was to go to California WOW for exercise. My membership is good for the California WOW on the beach as well.
My friend got a life time membership for the same price as I paid for 3 years in FUNKY TOWN, and his membership is also valid in FUNKY TOWN. Well, our memberships are valid on all California WOW gyms throughout Thailand.
We were walking around looking for the apartment when it started to rain.
-DARN!
Luckily enough we were stuck just outside a hairdresser.
- Hello! Do you do head massages? (I have heard that head massage cures baldness)
- No
- OK! Can I have a shampoo?
After 5 shampoo treatments (Mostly scratching and massaging my bald spot) the rain stopped and we left. After 200 meter is started to rain again and this time we were outside a Foot massage place. After a foot massage (scratching) and some more scratching of the bald spot we could continue looking for the apartment.
Tuesday 28 th of October 2008 and it was time to go to the gym. We were in an upbeat mode. My friend he got his apartment yesterday and he will move in tomorrow when I go back to FUNKY
TOWN and my school.
My friend came to my room at 1230, he had been doing his bank business during the morning and I had stayed in my room. But first time for breakfast and then we were off to the gym. My friend ordered a hamburger (lunch) and I ordered omelette (breakfast) and tea. Hamburger sauce was served to his hamburger.
When he lived with me in FUNKY TOWN I had pestered him 24/7 about my roast beef, roasted onion and remoulade. OK, it was a German Scooby Doo remoulade I had found, but it was delicious. And we had been living on roast beef, roasted onion and remoulade in FUNKY TOWN.
But we're both from Skåne
and we're used to the Danish remoulade and even though the German remoulade was OK we agreed that the Danish remoulade was #1. But we were in for a surprise at
the breakfast.
- Taste the hamburger sauce! It tastes like Danish remoulade.
It did and now we know what to buy for the roasted beef as soon as I have finished my German remoulade.
We were in a good mood when we left the restaurant
and 10 minutes later we were at California WOW sweating on the machines. Good, I need to lose a little. After the gym I'm off to a Swedish restaurant to pick up 2,2 kg Falukorv that I will bring back to FUNKY TOWN tomorrow.
Maybe not the best for my diet, but its taste SO GOOD!
Wednesday and I ordered a wakeup call for 0800 and a taxi for 10 o'clock. I woke up by myself just after 7 so I had plenty time to pack my weekend bag before it was time to leave.
Breakfast with my friend and the taxi was in time, actually, the taxi was a little bit early. I left the hotel 5 minutes after 10 and I stepped through my door at 1230. First time on the beach without any party. Yeah, I know, but we're getting old and it was nice without the hangover. We spent time on the gym and with long walks along the beach. OK, I will be back on Friday and then it will not be any walks along the beach.
Well, I was in school at 2 o'clock and I studied for 2 hours before going to my travel agency to buy my ticket to Manila. Now I have both ticket and hotel and everything is ready with my school in Manila. I was running late and I had to take a taxi to my next school that starts at 5 o'clock.
Well, at least to say; times turns quick. Back in school on Wednesday and Thursday was a full day.
At 11 I meet my friend at California WOW for some
exercise. When it was time to leave the rain started to pour down and we were stuck at California WOW.
- DARN!
I don't have time to hang around California WOW waiting
for the rain to stop. I have to be in school in 1 hour and I
need to go home to take a shower and change cloths.
I was 15 minutes late for school yesterday due to the rain. Today I will be in time and I will bring my weekend bag so I can take off for the beach straight from school.
But before going to school I'm off to California WOW and a littleexercise, some GOOD MORNING action will do me good and I will look dashing when I arrive to the beach. But if I fail to look dashing by means of the exercise I have a backup plan.
- 10 bottles of Breezers and that's a 100% guarantee to look good at arrival to the beach.
After the gym I went home to get my weekend bag and I was off to school. Arriving 15 minutes
late and leaving 10 minutes early and I was on the street and my waiting taxi just after 4.
I took a taxi going to school, it was a brand new
car with a working CD player. I asked the driver if he wanted to take me to the beach.
We decided to meet at Villa Market at Soi 11 10 minutes after 4. That gave me time to buy a few Bacardi Breezers at Villa Market before taking off to the beach.
A wee bit of traffic jam and it took us about 30 minutes to get on the highway. But as soon as we were on the highway the traffic was running smooth and we were hauling ass.
I was on the beach with a drink
in my hand after about 2 hours. 2 hours from school to bar is pretty good. I just finished my first Vodka Orange when my friend arrived with a bag of
remoulade. He was on town shopping the other day when he found the Danish remoulade and he
called me in FUNKY TOWN.
- Yoo! I found the Danish remoulade at TESCO!
- Bay everything they have! I screamed.
Saturday morning , well, Saturday afternoon and it was not verynice to wake up with a force 9,6 hangover. Motherf@ncker! How many Vodka Orange
did I have yesterday? I really don't know and
I'm not sure how I got to my hotel. So obviously I had been drunk like a sailor.
My friend called in the afternoon. I was in my room drinking
water like there was no tomorrow. I emptied the mini bar in 3 seconds and my room was full of empty water bottles. So at least to say, I didn't feel like a million when he called me.
- Time to play golf!
- OK, see you in the reception, I replied.
My friend asked the reception what time I had checked in this very morning and according to the computer I checked in at 0200. Well, so at least I got a few hours of sleep.
We left the hotel looking for a taxi to take us to the driving range. We had decided to play at the driving range earlier this week. I will try it out and if I like it we can join a golf club together.
It was hot and I had a terrible hangover. So I was drinking plenty water again and the “Crew” at the driving range were busy bringing water to us. The water helped to alleviate the heat, but just a little. But It takes more than water to cure a raving hangover. 
When we were ready with the golf we were hungry and we walked down 3rd Road looking for a restaurant. We passed a golf shop and we went in to check if they had any clubs for beginners.
We found a Danish restaurant further down the road. We entered a empty restaurant, well,
there was a guy from Norway sitting at a table drinking beer.
We ordered our food, I had a Hakkebøf. Better off taking the opportunity when at a Danish restaurant. We had just got our water when the Norwegian guy asked us if we had bought golf clubs.
- No, we have been at the driving range.
- So you play golf?
- Yeah, trying to keep our self busy.
- Well, I don't like golf, he informed us.
Turned out that he pretty much didn't liked anything. He had been living at the guesthouse, top floor at the restaurant, for 2 years.
- What are you doing all day long? Do you have any friends? I asked.
- I like my own company best, he said.
Living 2 years at the guesthouse, we remember me trying to survive 3 days on a guesthouse back in
2006 when all hotels were fully booked. Hell, you had to be drunk to dare going in to the bathroom.
Living 2 years at a guesthouse and sit in the restaurant alone drinking beer all day long. He didn't liked Thai food, didn't spoke a word of Thai. Not the only one as we can read in “Not The Nation”
and he pretty much didn't like to do anything. Well, he played bridge, or at least he like to but I don't know if he did play any cards.
He didn't like the place and he told us he drank too much.
- I drink too much in Norway too!
- Well, give up drinking and start to activate yourself, I suggested.
No, life was shit in general and he didn't like the place. Well, I wonder why he had stayed for 2 years at the guesthouse. Well, never mind. We left with a bye bye and it didn't take long for us
to agree that we were better off than the Norwegian.
I returned to my hotel for a shower and my friend came to pick me up at the reception 2 hours later. SATURDAY NIGHTand time for a soda water, yeah, the spirit was high.
Well, coming out from the hotel we turned right, not necessary to turn left and pass the places we went to yesterday. Better if we give them some time to forget us. We stopped at a place after a
brisk 10 minutes walk and my friend ordered a Bacardi Breezer and I ordered a Soda water.
Next stop was a bar in a garden, well, it looked like a garden. The music was good and I could not sit there drinking Soda water. I ordered a Vodka Orange and my companion was surprised.
-No more soda water??!!
Well, I’ll be darned! Charisma man was not far away.
What to say, a Vodka Orange and I ended up roaming the streets 5 o'clock in the morning. Like a teenager, but I'm a student and this is how I remembering being a student.
Sunday, waking up was not a nice experience. Bowling!! Yesterday while at the driving range we
decided to play bowling today. I regretted our as it seemed yesterday smart move to decide to play bowling. I have felt better, but I got out of bed and we took the walk to the bowling place.
Water, I drank water like there was no tomorrow and for sure, I didn't impressed any one at
the bowling place. I was on the track or whatever they call it at bowling places. I was a little impressed by the action pictures
I got. I even managed to get a picture of my bowling ball when I threw it.
And as you can see on the picture I miss the target by meters. But it's not easy throwing the ball and taking pictures at the same time. But pictures are more important than the darn bowling ball.
And if I get good pictures there is always a little something for you to see on aladdin.st. OK, we have seen our share of crap on aladdin.st as well.
We played 4 games before we left the place, 5 strikes on 4 games is nothing you write home about. But it's not easy with a hangover force 9,8. Well, to have fun is the most important and I doubt that I had felt better staying in my bed. At least we have done a little something and I'm sure we burnt a few calories at the bowling place.
walk to the restaurant. We were alone at the restaurant, well, there was 4 people
eating but it was a big place and we could sit alone.
I'm not exactly in a mood to socialize with strangers with my hangover. Yeah, I think you
know how it is. We ordered pizza and garlic bread and when we left the restaurant we felt worse when coming in. It was excellent food, but someone cranked up the hangover a notch and I just knew that it would be a long night ahead. Not very easy to sleep the day after a social event.
I decided to go home to FUNKY TOWN tonight and be at the gym tomorrow at 11. But before
returning we went shopping at Villa Market. I need milk for my morning tea, I also need some roast beef.
You know that I got my remoulade pretty much smack at the arrival Friday night. We were lucky yesterday, we passed a Danish Restaurant. Not the one where we meet the Norwegian. It was 10 o'clock in the night and we were tipsy.
We passed the restaurant and when we had walked some 20 meters we decided to go back for a drink. This was a biker hangout and it was almost like sitting at a bar in Denmark. But the best thing, when we left we had 800g of deep fried onion. SWEDISH!! Yeah, the owner got his deep fried onion from Sweden and not from Denmark. Well, I'm sure he bought it in Denmark, but it was Swedish onion.
So I only need some roast beef and I'm ready to leave for FUNKY TOWN. If I go home tomorrow morning I will miss my gym so I can as well get back home tonight. Back to my hotel, checking out and I was on my way just after 1930.
Well, back home and it's just to start with the gym and school again, nice! It's still raining, but
November should be the last month in the rain season.
The other day when I left the gym it was all dark out side, approaching rain. I passed through a galleria on my way home
and when I came out it was starting to rain. A few minutes later it was pouring down and I was soaked when I got home. Never mind, I was on my way home to take a shower and change cloths before going to school.
Well, the best thing with my apartment is the laundry room. When I came home I stepped right in to laundry room and I took off the cloths and I put them straight in to the washing machine.
When I went back to the gym the day after they were asking me if I was cold yesterday when
walking in the rain. Yes, they know me in the neighbourhood.
- Hmm, I wonder why??!!
Well, I have a new ship. When I signed off Bro Provider they asked me if I wanted to sign on Bro Promotion 19th of December. Well, I really didn't want to. But this week we agreed that I'm signing on Bro Promotion in the middle of December 2008.
It will be nice, I have spent enough money this last month.
And by signing on Bro Promotion they have to pay for my courses, hotel, air tickets and salary. This will give me an extra 5-7000 US dollar, can come in handy.
Thursday 6 th of November 2008 and my 30 days stay in FUNKY TOWN is about to expire. I have to leave the country before 8th of November, or pay a 500 Scooby Dollar/ day in overstay fine.
I need 15 days extension, I'm leaving the 23rd of November to the
As Southeast Asia's tallest hotel, Swissôtel The Stamford offers panoramic views of Singapore, Indonesia and Malaysia.
The hotel offers a deluxe range of guest rooms and luxurious suites with a wealth of amenities. Its leisure facilities include Asia's largest spa, Willow Stream Spa. The hotel also features a range of exquisite restaurants and lounges, gourmet specialties, two outdoor swimming pools, six tennis courts and a fitness club.
Raffles City Convention Centre offers technologically advanced meeting facilities.
school in Manila. They could only give me 7 days.
- Never mind! I said and left.
I called my travel agent and I booked a ticket to Singapore and I booked a room at my favourite hotel in Singapore, Swissôtel
The Stamford. I stopped at the travel agent on my way to school and after school I went to pick up my ticket and hotel booking.
When I came home from school I ordered snus to be delivered to my hotel in Manila and I packed my weekend bag. I have to skip gym tomorrow, my flight is leaving at 11 o'clock and I will arrive to Singapore around 2 o'clock. 1 hour time difference so you understand that the flight is about 2 hours long.
Friday 7 th
of November 2008
and a quick breakfast and shower before going to the airport. I grabbed a taxi and we were literally flying to the airport.
- DARN! Easy easy!
I was almost shitting my self in the back seat. The driver looked like he was several hundreds years old. His left hand was like a, well, like a club-foot. He had to operate everything with his right hand while flying towards the airport in 140.
and I went to the check-in. I was the only one checking in so I was in the Immigration 2 minutes later. Priority line and I was alone in the Immigration.
But I was held up by the Immigration Officers comments about my shirts.
- Where did you get the shirt?
- Nice shirt!
It has been the same story since I bought my new shirts a few weeks back. Walking down the street and everyone wants to feel the quality giving comments and asking where I bought my shirts.
When I finally got ready in the Immigration I went to gate C4 and Thai Airways flight to Singapore. Departure
time 1100 and boarding starts at 1030. What do they mean by boarding? I never experienced any boarding
starting in time. Or maybe they mean that they open the gate at 1030 and that the boarding starts when all passengers are present at the gate.
I had to wait for, well, maybe 10 minutes before the boarding started and we left FUNKY TOWN pretty much in time. The older I get the more I hate flying, taxi, bouncing along the runway while gaining speed, taking off and the slow climb to cruising altitude. Ascending, well, it’s not very nice to sit there wondering if we will make it. Suddenly, when reaching altitude, the plane levels out and it feels like “WE'RE GOING DOWN”. 
Levelling out and groggbordet came rolling down the aisle a few minutes after 11. 11 o'clock:
- Hmm, maybe too early for wine?!
Hell no, it's over 12 o'clock in Singapore so a little lunch wine
would be nice.
- Can I please have some white wine?
- What kind do you want?
- Well, what do I know? I don't know so can I please have a glass of both!
- 2 different?
- Yeah, I don't know which one is good. Drop some ice
in the glass and it's a sure thing.
- ICE??!!
She looked puzzled. Ice in the wine and it's the same
story every time. White wine tastes good if it's cold enough, never mind what white wine it is. SO I always add ice in the glass and I always get reactions. Yeah, we remember Rainbow Warrior. The Italians onboard were almost throwing me overboard.
- ICE IN THE WINE! YOU SAVAGE!
The Stewardesses were coming with wine all the time and they
never missed an opportunity to give a comment on my shirt. It was a pleasant flight, not many passengers. But I had 2
guys behind me and I'll be darned. One of them complained about me listening to music in my iPod.
I just saw some one waving behind me. I turned around thinking “what the...”
- Can you please turn it down a bit?
- Motherf@cker! How can this guy be disturbed by my iPod?
Well, I turned down the iPod a bit and I continued to enjoy the trip. My wine glasses were always full and my mood improved by the minute.
I skipped the food, there was so much food and I had to tell the Stewardess that I was on a diet.
- Do you want fruit?
- No thanks!
- Well, we have cheese and fruit and fruit is
good for your diet. Are you sure you don't want any
fruit?
- Wine is good enough for me.
2 bottles of wine later and Charisma Man arrived to Singapore. I was tipsy and in a good mood. Tipsy, a good but also dangerous state to be in . We remember the taxi driver from Los Angeles, he took me
to a restaurant for my first beer and we were chatting along.
We were talking hangovers, he was 60 and I asked how the hangovers were at that age.
- Must be terrible!
- Yes, but not only that. You're tipsy after 2 beers.
- Yeah, tipsy is the best state, but it's difficult to keep it just tipsy, I said.
- After 2 beers the girls (Interesting, he's 60 and he still calls it girls. That's the spirit!) loves you. You're witty and handsome. But after 3 beers it's another story. “ Who is this obnoxious guy? Take him away! ”
- Yeah, that's when the police usually turn up!
Well, this was how I arrived to Singapore, witty & handsome and with the nicest shirt ever seen on Singapore International. The girls looked and said “nice shirt” and the girls in the shops on the way to immigration were waving at me.
Passing the Immigration and the first thing the old lady checking my passport and immigration card said:
- Nice shirt! Where did you bought that shirt?
But things where soon to get more serious. She asked where I arrived from and what airline I arrived with.
- I'm coming from FUNKY TOWN with Thai
- You got the wrong flight number.
- Well, I just took a wild guess.
- We take these things serious in Singapore.
She filled up the correct flight number and then it was all laughs again.
- Welcome to Singapore!
Well, anyway, I decided to do an experiment. How long can I stay tipsy? No more drinks until arriving to my hotel. I was in a good mood after passing the custom and 2 minutes later I was sitting in a taxi on the way to my hotel.
- Darn! I don't have any money.
I asked the driver if he could stop at an ATM machine. The first machine didn't take AMEX. My
VISA card has expired and I'm still waiting for the new card to be delivered and I didn't brought the pin code
for my MasterCard.
Same story at the second machine and I walked to the next bank and I was lucky, the machine accepted AMEX.
I forgot my B-12 at home so I stopped to buy some B-12 vitamins on the way back to the taxi. OK, money and B-12 and we're ready to take off to the hotel.
Check in and 3 minutes later I was on my room pouring a glass of wine. Then I called the company I found on the internet yesterday, well, actually 3 o'clock this very morning. I could not sleep and I decided to check out the internet for computer bags for laptops
with a 20" screen. I found one and I printed the address and phone number.
I called the company and I asked if they had their biggest bag available.
- How many do you want?
- One
- Well, we are the importers and we only sell to shops.
- I just arrived from FUNKY TOWN to buy this bag and I will go back tomorrow.
- Let me see if we have one bag at the office.
Turned out that they had one bag at the office and I finished my wine dropped a fist of B-12s and I was off with the taxi.
Their office were located in an area with offices and car shops outside the city centre. It was a quick ride, they just opened a new tunnel going under Singapore so we skipped the traffic jam. 15 minutes later I was at the office and 5 minutes later I had my bag.
Getting a taxi getting back to my hotel was not the easiest thing, and by now my tipsiness had turned in to an
headache. I was not in the best mood when I finally got a taxi. 
I had a spaghetti Carbonara back at the hotel before returning my new bag to my room. Then I was off for the Boat Quay, a mere 3 minute’s taxi ride. Arriving in full day light and I could not help notice the changes since I was here last time. English pubs, Irish pubs and Sports bars every where.
Well it's a horrid tendency.
- Hmm, wasn't that a song by Kjell Höglund?
Same in FUNKY TOWN, the sports bars and English pubs are popping up everywhere. They all have signs like:
- Probably the best English pub in the area
- LIVE SOCCER!!!!
Yeah, sounds like a good night out.
Well, anyway, I was walking around almost givin' up the Boat Quay and leave for Clark Quay. According to one of the girl at the bag company “Clarke” was gaining popularity.
Yeah, I can understand that. If Boat Quay turns in to a big sport bar it's easy to take the 5 minutes walk to Clarke Quay. I passed an English pub and there were 3 or 4 English ladies sitting outside drinking beer. They turned around looking at me. 
I decided to leave when I passed something called the ESKI BAR. Didn't looked like a sports bar or an English pub so I gave it a try. I
came in to a big freezer.
- What the hell is this?
- It's an ICE BAR.
- Exactly how fun is that?
Well, if you judge the place by how many visitors they
have this place was 0 fun, no visitors.
- Yeah, 0 fun.
I was just about to f@ck off out of there when the guy showed me a door at the other end and we entered. Still the
icy looks, but the bar was room temperate and they had music going on. And not a big screen with a soccer game going on as far as I could see.
I ordered a Vodka Red Bull and I started to chat with a beautiful girl, I mean really beautiful, sitting next to me.
- Hmm, well, you know me. I'm a little shy, especially in new surroundings. So there was no chatting until she leaned forward feeling the fabric in my shirt.
- That's a marvellous shirt you're having! Where did you buy it?
I was soon loosing up, I had 2 Vodka Red Bull in front of me. And they were mixing one more for me in the bar. As my friend said after our last drinking spree.
- Damn, you always have two drinks in front of you and they are always mixing one for you in the bar. Now I understand why you get the terrible hangovers.
What do you know? I was safely relieved by Charisma Man and he's always on top off things.
Well, that’s how’s it goes, I was back to
tipsy. The headache was long gone and they must have found me pretty witty because we were soon rolling around on the floor laughing.
I remember a few years ago, Gothenburg, Sweden. We just finished last day in school before the summer leave. I went to a restaurant together with Masken & Greven. We should have lunch before it was bye-bye see ya at autumn. Well, actually not, I was not going back to school, Masken was going to borrow my apartment and I was going to return 1 year later.
To make a long story short: Masken got us thrown out from the apartment. I was returning 2 years
later from India, barefoot and with 1 dollar in my pocket. Masken and Greven managed to
finish school before getting kicked out.
Luckily enough Greven had kept his student room in Gothenburg when he moved back to Skåne.So I moved in to the student home and I had the time off my life. 8 students were living there and always some kind of party going on.
Never mind, back to the restaurant. Lunch, ended up with a beer. 3 beers latter the waitress spend all her time at our table. The owner wasn't happy.
- Go on! Sit down at their table, you have so much fun here! Never mind the other guests.
After 8 beers (Amazing how you are able to stay witty no matter how much you drank when you were young) the owner came dragging with a chair. Placed it at our table.
- Go on! Sit down at their table, you have so much fun here! Never mind the other guests.
Well, a few more beers and he came running with the bill. Threw it on the table while screaming to the waitress to bugger off.
And back to ....Singapore. Where were we? Yeah, at ESKI BAR and things was turning fun.
We had a very good time and as usually it's better to leave when your on top. Our beautiful bartender told me to come back and she followed me out to the freezer room. Waving.
- Come back soon!
Boat Quay had turned in to a big English pub with soccer on big screen TVs and Irish music. Well,
a water hole like ESKI and 50 Karaoke places and that's pretty much it. At ESKI they told me about a club along the Canal.
- Just go under the tunnel and it's on your left hand side.
I found the club and I had a few drinks and I was soon off again. I went to a few of the Karaoke bars and it was pretty OK when you were dead drunk. I was talking
with a guy while his wife beat all the others in pool even though she was a wee bit distracted by my shirt.
I ended up at a place with a live band and from there on things got a little blurred. GOD HELP ME! I returned to ESKI BAR.
I never learn.
- Come back soon!
I always forget the taxi driver in Los Angeles when you need it the most.
- After 2 beers the girls (Interesting, he's 60 and he still calls it girls. That's the spirit!) loves you. You're witty and handsome. But after 3 beers it's another story. “ Who is this obnoxious guy? Take him away! ”
After spending 800 dollar on Vodka Red Bull I
decided to go see the girl at ESKI BAR. I'm not sure, but she might be interested in getting married to a 500 kg old and bald fart.
- Yeah, fat chance!
I don't remember much of my last visit to the ESKI BAR, but one thing is for sure. I'm in no hurry to come back. I prefer to give them a few weeks to forget me.
Saturday, I rolled out of bed around 11 o'clock. WATER! I NEED WATER! I grabbed a big bottle
of water from the mini bar and I returned to bed. After 30 minutes I called room service for a breakfast. I felt bad with a rampant agony, and what the BIP
did I do yesterday? For sure I don't hope I was laying in the gutter some where sending SMS poetry to the (Very) beautiful girl at ESKI.
I have my “5 o'clock in the morning” encounter
with the California WOW girl fresh in mind.
No more embarrassments!
I were off to get my 2nd one litre bottle of water
and on the way back to my bed I read the label on the bottle. I got furious! I will never ever stay at any Swissôtel again.
I have read all them stupid appeals that we should save our world. Yeah, I agree, but should I run around in my room collecting towels and robes and put them in the bath tub to save our dying globe while Swissôtel transporting water.
- Hmm, what did it say on the bottle again?
- Hmm, YEAH! thousands of miles away!
Them f@ckers transporting water thousands of mile and now they want me to believe that they are concerned about our dying globe.
But I have been on about this “Riding the green wave” to save some dollars before. Imagine a hotel with thousands of room, there are a few dollars to save if you don't have to clean and change the linen.
Green leaves and shit on the card. Yeah, fat chance to see me running around picking up towels and
bathrobes to get them in to the bath tube. So then they don't change them for you!
What the f@ck! You pay millions to stay at the darn place and you're ending up as the Maid.
And do you know how much the charged me for 2 bottles of water? 25 dollar! Yes, you got it right, 25 dollar!! This, once my favourite place (OK, then it was WESTIN Stamford) had turned in to a place where you're getting conned.
1 o'clock and I checked out and I was off to the airport. I was in a, well, actually so angry that I had forgot all about the hangover. Please! Collect your towels and bath robes in the bathtub. We're concerned about the environment!No, actually a double
Well, I'm concerned about the environment. But I could not help my self. I got a shave with their
shaving kit. It was painful, cheap razor and foam so the shave comes in high on my list of “the worst shaves ever”
. Yeah, it will fall right on top of that list!
- Oh, tooth brushes! I need to brush my teeth
I have my own tooth brush and paste with me, but I'm concerned about the environment.
So why not use their stuff. I'm also bald, never mind, I used all shampoo, conditioner and all the other bottles and stuff they had lined up in the bathroom.
Never mind, Saturday and I will arrive to FUNKY TOWN 5 o'clock and it will be a night out. Check in, Immigration, lounge (1 diet drink and 3 salmon sandwiches), boarding and take off. The hangover hit me hard at the airport and I was pretty annoyed every time they mentioned my shirt. - Very Nice!
- Looks very expensive!
- Where did you buy it?
Coming on the plane and the Stewardesses were eyeballing me.
- Yeah-yeah, I know! Nice shirt!
But it was worse when the passengers around me started to interview me about the shirt. iPod on, full blast and problem solved. But the worst thing was, and now realise that I had a hangover and I don't need any extra attention. But I discovered that my Roast beef, remoulade and fried onion diet had blowing up in my face. I ripped the safety belt to pieces when I tried to buckle up. How
embarrassing.
- My belt is broken!
- Do you want to bring you an EXTENSION belt?
- The problem is that the belt is broken, I said.
I changed seat and by now I had had all the attention I
needed for a few years. iPod on and where the hell is Grogg bordet?
It didn't take long before I 2 glass of white wine and we were on the way back home. I was feeling worse and worse and by the time we reached FUNKY TOWN my hangover was a full force 10.
I took a taxi straight home calling my friend cancelling the night out. I made a quick raid to my supermarket to buy fruit in the evening. Yeah, believe me! The faux pas that will be remembered forever as the “SEAT BELT” incident had a great impact on me.
From now on its only fruit, gym and school.
I spent most of the following week in bed sick. Started with fever Sunday night. I felt good Monday morning but I had to leave school Monday afternoon. Only fever, no sign of any cold or any other sickness.
It was very uncertain if I could make it to the gym Tuesday morning. I made it to the gym, but after that I spent 2 days in bed. No school and gym for a few days. I could not make it out of my bed. I was freezing cold laying in bed shaking for 2 days. Thursday & Friday was better but it was a wasted week.
- Hmm, maybe there was something in the water from Fuji that made me sick? DARN!
Slowely getting better and I need to be fit when it's time to go to Manila 23rd of November.
OK, it has come to my knowledge that we have senior citizens visiting my web page. How hard
can it be? So it’s not very easy for them to see the blue coloured links to the next page.
noun [in SING.] informal a moment: we'll be back in a jiffy.
ORIGIN late 18th cent.: of unknown origin.
So as you understand, in a jiff pretty much depends on your internet.
So I put a “Next” button here and I hope that there isn't any problem to understand how to use that one. So just CLICK the “Next” button on your left hand side and you will be on the next page in a jiff!
Marunong ka mag-tagalog? Walang problema! Magpunta sa kabilang pahina pindutin ang “NEXT” button sa itaas
Faites vous parlez le français? Pour arriver à la page suivante faites s'il vous plaît un déclic le bouton “Next” ci-dessus!
Haga usted dice el español? Ver la siguiente página sólo hacer clic el botón “Next” encima!
Farla parla l'italiano? Per vedere la prossima pagina lo scatto per favore giusto Il bottone “Next” sopra
Sprechen sie Deutsch! Kein problem! Wenn Sie die folgende Seite sehen wollen gerade klicken der Knopf “Next” oben!
คุณพูดภาษาไทยได้ไหม ไม่มีปัญหา ถ้าคุณต้องการไปหน้าถัดไป ให้กดปุ่ม “Next”
ข้างบนนี้
Вы говорите по-русски? NJET PROBLEMA! Просто нажмите синюю кнопку "Next" с левой стороны и Вы моментально переместитесь на следующую страницу!
E ni Svenskar och inte förstår Engelska så ska ni skämmas. J och Björn, med det menar jag inte att alla mina stavfel ska ältas varje gång vi träffas.
Well, the flag of Skåne, just a BONUS flag.
- Where am I?
After almost 24 hour’s travel it was nice to get a good night’s sleep, and that's even though I had
planned for a Friday night on town.And I left for a Friday night on town, but as soon as we passed the first corner with the TAXI I was asleep. So I asked the driver to take me back home.Before falling to sleep I called my Teacher and Monday morning at 9 I will start my morning school.
I will call my afternoon school on Monday and hopefully I will get a full day on Mondaywith GYM between morning and afternoon classes.And I needed the sleep. I left Bro Provider just after 9 o'clock in the morning and I was on Houston international at 1130. We made 2 stops for a diet drink and a stop at the Immigration on the way so you understand that it's a 2 hours ride from Beaumont to Houston.
Immigration was a quick business even though we had a chat about the good old times with the Immigration Officer. When I stepped in at the Immigration office I was met with a smile and a handshake.
- So it's time to go home. Do you go to your hotel?
- Straight to the airport, I said.
We talked about the good ol' times while he was stamping my paper work and I was out of there. US Immigration and the people working there, well, not known to be very likable and sympathetic. But these 2 Immigration Officers in Beaumont is 2 of the nicest guys I ever meet. For sure the nicest Immigration officers I ever meet.
I remember Port Arthur with Barcarolle, Captain Kid was on the jetty helping us with the gangway. He was chasing people in charge of the trains and he was arranging all the train sets on the jetty so we could take our provision.
We left the Immigration office with screamin' and smokin' tyres and, well, how can I put this? USA, supposed to be a rich and civilized country. I'm glad not to live there, for sure.
- Looks like we're driving through a shanty town in Africa or South America, I said to the driver
- It's after the hurricane Ike, the driver said.
- Looked the same before the hurricane, I said.
- I know what you mean.
During the ride to the airport we passed, not many nice houses, but plenty condemned houses and abandoned car wrecks. Shit and debris all over the place, and eyesore and embarrassment.
- Back in the days the rest of the word looked up to USA. But now it's all shit, I said.
- Yeah, things turn to shit. Since 9-11 everything is downhill around here.
- Yeah, this war on terror has for sure not given you any extra point in the goodwill department, I said.
All you hear from Afghanistan is how many civilians that got killed during the day. Who the hell is responsible? Should be in jail! And what the hell do they hope to achieve there. A rock will be a rock no matter what they do? And all the Americans you meet think it's a lost cause and embarrassment. Back in the day’s people liked USA, but today it's a different story.
- USA is no good. Bombing civilians!
Well, it's a shame that it has turned this way. Maybe they will put me on a list over terrorists for writing this stuff, for sure there is a place available on the list since North Korea is taken away from the list. This is a country they could have made to a Disneyland and Kim il jong or what the
hell his name is should be sent to imprisonment with hard labour.Well, if they put me on a list over suspect people I think I can live with it. We are without legal rights, they just claim that you're a terrorist and off to jail you go.
But still, I'm better off now than in a few years when China is running the show. Who knows, suddenly they starts to demand list of terror suspected people and then you might be considered as a terrorist if you want to use a safety belt while working aloft. Or if you want a gasmask while spray painting or if you just simply want to wear a green t-shirt.
After check in at KLM's desk in Houston I passed the security and I as off to havemy lunch. The lunch turned out to be my worst meal in a very long time. All served on plastic plates and plastic cutlery.- HOW THE BIP
IS IT POSSIBLE TO F@CK UP DEEP FRIED MOZZARELA?I was most disappointed when I left the, I'm not
going to call it a restaurant, greasy spoon joint. I went to gate D9 with a stop to buy a book and I bought a bag of potato chips and a diet drink. I was reading my book while watching the runway with one eye when my flight arrived.There wasn't very much else to do on the airport. Houston International will not make it high on my “Fun airports in the world” list.
I'm soon out of here
KLM, and the flight are full. Not possible to upgrade to biz and I'm not looking forward to the 9 hour 30 minutes flight to Amsterdam. But I got a seat at the exit and that's something. KLM andtheir Jumbo jets, most of them are freighters and half the machine is cargo space and most of the time flying KLM it'sa full flight.That's why I gave up my GOLD frequent flyer member ship, and of course, the fact that it was impossible to book your reward tickets helped me in my decision. I had several free round trips, Europe - FUNKY TOWN and all I got out of it was 1 round trip.
Boarding the flight and we were off in time, a pleasant surprise. Must be the first time this happens and I was in for my second pleasant surprise when we taxi out to the runway.
- This is the Captain speaking! Welcome on board ...blah-blah-bla...8 hours 20 minutes flight .... blah-blah-bla.....
- 8 hours!! On my flight details it is 9 hours 30 minutes!
8 hours, after 30 minutes I was about to commit suicide. Seat at the exit and I could stretch my
legs. Perfect, if I just had 50 cm less between my back pockets.I spent the flight doing two things:
• Wishing the flight could come to an end
• Thinking about me on the GYM
Impossible to sleep so out of consideration of my two fellow passengers I moved my arse across the exit aisle and I spent most of the flight on the flight attendant’s rest seat.
- This is Captain speaking....blah-blah-bla....we are descending to Amsterdam.....
Time for me to get my arse back in my seat. I had to take a run from a few meters away trying
to gain momentum (not easy running backwards on a plane) hopping that I could squeeze my arse down between the armrests with pure force. The guys next to me supported me withjoyous acclamation:- Atta boy!
- Come on!
It was nice when I stepped in at Schiphol leaving the Houston - Amsterdam flight behind. But I must say that the guys next to me were very nice and we cracked a few jokes over the Atlantic Ocean. OK, we arrived 1 hour before expected (that I had expected) and I had about 12 hours before it was time to board the 11 hour's flight to FUNKY TOWN.
Weather in Amsterdam, +6°C and I had to go to the toilet to change from shorts to panta longas. I have not had panta longas since, well, yeah. It was several years ago. But luckily enough I had a pair in my carry on.
I bought a train ticket and I was in Amsterdam before the shop had open. I was looking for Dutch Hip Hop. I had a cup of tea and a sandwich while waiting for the shops to open. Well, the first shop I went to was closed and didn't open until 10 o'clock.
I walked the walking street from Dam Plein towards Rembrandt Plein when I passed a record shop
with open doors.- Do you have any Dutch Hip Hop?
- We're not open until 0930!
I stepped out on the street and I waited a few minutes and it was 0930. The girl took all the records they had with Dutch
Hip Hip and I took on the head phones. I listened to the CDs, yeah, I have plenty time to spend. The music was good and I bought everything she got.- Can't wait to get home to play me new CDs “FULL BLAST”
I continued my walk towards Rembrandt Plein with a stop at the photo shop where our Bosun on Prospero bought his camera a few years back. I looked at a camera, just to compare prices between USA and Europe. I'm not going to buy any camera today, I don't want to carry around several kg trotting around Amsterdam.
Early morning and the weather were getting nice. I could have had my shorts with no problem, well,
never mind. Walking the streets and on a beautiful morning with the smell of marijuana over the whole place.- Yeah, they are not allowed to smoke inside if they mix it with tobacco.
That explained the smell, but I could still see some people sitting smoking inside so I guess those were the healthy drug addicts
not mixing it with tobacco. What an f@cking joke this EU has turned out to be. Snus is not allowed, but taking drugs is OK as longas you don't mix it with tobacco. Early morning in Amsterdam
I was back on the train to Schiphol less than 4 hours after arrival to Schiphol 7 o'clock this morning. When I arrived to Schiphol I went to the hotel reservations and I got myself a hotelroom. I need a shower and I will watch TV for a few hours trying to avoid sleep. I'm dead tired after 24 hours on the go. But if I sleep it will be impossible to sleep during my last flight.Turned out it was the same hotel KLM put us on a
Broken airplane in Amsterdam
I spent a few hours in the room and I had 3 showers before leaving at 5 o'clock. I was on the airport 10 minutes later and I started with tea and a sandwich before going through the Immigration. First stop after Immigration was the tax free, 2 bags of Vodka and then I was off to the electronics.
I have this girl taking care of my flowers while I'm gone and I decided to buy her an iPod.
- Can I see your boarding pass?
- Of course, I said handing him my boarding pass.
- This is not a boarding pass! This is your ticket!
- No, it's my boarding pass!
- I have seen millions of boarding passes and this is not a boarding pass!
I lost my temper.
- Hey! Nitwit! It says BOARDING PASS in big letters all over the f@cking BOARDING PASS! Motherf@cker!
This guy was at least to say dim. Not the brightest shining light in the solarium.
I don't know if it's just me. But I have noticed a remarkable change since 7/11. The war on terror is in full swing and the people working on the airports takes is seriously, and rightly so. But
as a passenger you are without any rights. They put farmer John at the luggage scanner.- Look for bombs!I feel confident, really, I do. I'm coming home and I find my 4000 US laptop f@cked up. I discovered that my suitcase wasn't properly closed at FUNKY TOWN luggage claim. So they have searched my suitcase for bombs but they can’t not even close the lid on the lap top, and my lap top was busted. And how the BIPING BIP do we expect them to find a bomb when they don’t know how to close the suitcase.
- Good job farmer John!
A few years ago when I still was a frequent flyer with KLM I passed the security. I had 2
laptops and a female Security Officer. Believe me, she was stupid and I was close to be grounded on terrorist charges. They use the epithet terrorist for everyone they don't like today.- 2+2=5
- No, it's 4
- 2+2=5
- No, it's 4
- 2+2=5
- No, it's 4- 2+2=5
- Are you f@cking stupid?- OK, you're grounded. You're a terrorist!
- Yeah, you won't ground me for being TOO diplomatic, motherf@cker!
Amsterdam - FUNKY TOWN was a full flight. I took my seat and I popped 3 sleeping pills and the last thing I heard was Captain on the PA system.
- This is the Captain speaking! Welcome on board ...blah-blah-bla...10 hours flight .... blah-blah-bla.....
- 10 hours!! On my flight details it is 11 hours!
I woke up 2 hours before arrival and it turned out to have been a pretty good flight, OK, it required 3 sleeping pills. It was nice when I had passed the custom with all my Vodka, green lane, of course. I was on my way to the TAXI when one of the Custom Officers came running after me screaming. He checked my bag, full of Vodka.
- OK, this will be a hefty fine. I hope he don't see my second bag, I thought.
He checked my second tax free bag and he asked if I had any cigarettes.
- No!
- OK, he said and left.
Thursday 16 th of October 2008 and it's finally time to go to the gym. OK, I know, you have been under the impression that I was at the gym Monday, morning school and evening school. Well,
honestly, I didn't leave my condo during the whole day.I had a raving hangover and I thought I was better off spending Monday in bed. Sunday was terrible, I don't know what time I got home, but it was during the wee
hours and waking up was not a nice experience. B-12, I had a fistful and they helped to mitigate the hangover, but just enough so I could go have dinner with 2 sisters. I was surprised, even though the hangover was raving I managed to be witty.Sunday and hangover kind of comes with the territory. I ended up at Banglamphu and I meet my friend on a bar. From there on it's pretty much a gap in my memory. And it was not like the pictures in my phone helped me to remember anything. But there was a video and obviously we had been watching a band playing at Banglamphu, but I remember exactly F all.
Tuesday and I got away to my evening school and I stopped at the gym to pick up my membership card. Looks like a credit card and I not miss a chance to use this card. Not necessarily at California WOW. I think I will find the best use for the card when shopping. A beautiful girl
working as cashier and I pay with your credit card. You hand over the membership card to the gym.- You cannot pay with this! This is a member ship to a gym!
- Oh, sorry for that!
She will be impressed by the fact that I'm a member at a gym and while I hand over my credit card she will think that this “soon to be” handsome guy can be the catch of her life time.
Well, I have been home for almost a week and now it's nice to be back on the track, finally. Morning and evening school and gym, OK, I know what you think.
- Soon weekend and it will be the same story next week!
- NO, the hard part is to start things up.
Next Monday things are already on track and moving, hangover or not, it's just to get there. When you suffer from a severe hangover it's not all that easy to arrange for school and classes. Ok, I have been waiting for my friend to be ready for the gym, it's not all that fun to go there alone. At least not the first time and for sure, I don't want to meet the girl I meet when I was drunk. Yeah, I ran in to one of the girls 5 o'clock in the morning a few months ago. Disco and she was both smoking and drinking beer. I don't remember what I said to her and I have done everything to avoid her ever since. So, run in to her, alone and with a hangover is not a desirable situation.
But of course we remember the girl from last time I was on the gym.
- You're so handsome!- WHAT!!?? ARE YOU ON DRUGS??!!OK, I admit that for an old fart
like me it was a nice boost for my self-confidence.And the times turn so fast. My lap top, I called Dell and I hope that they will send a service guy to fix my lap top. OK, I can use the darn thing, but I can’t close the lid. Hopefully it will be OK when I'm off to school in Manila.
And I wake up, or at least try to, every morning.
During the day I discover a lot of things that I need to do. So I'm under a lot of stress to do all this stuff. But I'm ending up rushing and tearing about and nothing happens.- OK, I go up early tomorrow morning and I have time to do all the stuff.
And to use my mobile as the alarm clock, great. Every time the alarm goes off I'm too tired to see which of the (very small) buttons I push. The alarm stops and I fall asleep again. Luckily enough I just pushed the snooze button and the alarm goes off again 10 minutes later. If I had been using my alarm clock I had just turned it off and I had keep on sleeping for several hours.Anyway, coming out of bed and I have forget all the “important” stuff I had to do. It springs to mind in the evening and it's the same story every day. Suddenly it's 10 o'clock in the evening and I'm supposed to be off to bed. But there is always a little something more to do and I end up going to be after midnight.
But today I'm finally ready to face all the girls at California WOW, especially the girls at the Pilates. So I'm off to the gym and you can entertain yourself by listening to Dutch Hip Hop, Vandaag with The Opposites. When you're ready you can go to a GOOD
record store near you and buy the CD. We need to support artists like this so they can continue making good music. So open your valets and start spend money!
Just go ahead, enjoy Dutch Hip Hop, over and over again
If you haven't bought Nat Ill & Static's last CD, (I'm sure it's just a matter of time) you got a last chance for a taster below.
Just go ahead, enjoy Nat Ill & Static, over and over again
OK, after listening to The opposites and Nat Ill & Static it's easy to understand that it was nice tostep in through the door coming home last Friday, turning on the entertainment center first thing and to have Dutch Hip Hop on full blast within a few seconds.My neighbours? Well, we remember the girl living next door. She always said hello to me when we meet and after 100 times I just had to ask her who she was.
- I'm your neighbour!
A few months later they were moving and I asked why.
- We look for something cheaper.
- So it was not because I played music?
- No, I and my brother though it was kind of cool. Mom & dad didn't thought it was all that cool.
What the BIP
went wrong? Monday morning and I skipped my morning school. And my gym pretty much went the same way. Motherf@nker! I'm too old for this. Monday and you really don't deserve waking up with a force 9,6 hangover, just imagine how I felt yesterday.Yesterday, I got out of bed at 1730 after 1 million of calls from my friends sitting at our restaurant drinking beer.
It started at lunch, “Come here, we're having a drink”
- I will not leave bed today!
After the 25th call I told them that I was on my way hopping for the calls to end.
- Are you on the way?- Not exactly! I'm still in bed! I'm coming!
Can't they leave me alone? I'm about to throw myself from my balcony. We had been drinking both Friday and Saturday night and that was many years ago I managed to pull that trick. Well,school and gym turns you in to a teenager again.Last call was at 1730.
- Where are you?- I'm in bed! But I managed to get my socks on!
- Ah va fan e d för nåt?
- OK, I'm coming.
I regretted myself as soon as I stepped outside my door and it didn't get any better arriving to the restaurant. All the guys from yesterday (except one, his wife got him under curfew) where sitting there.
- Where did you disappear yesterday?
- ME!!?? MOTHERF@CKERS??!! Suddenly I found myself alone with
3 angry Americans. And what was the story with the police?I was listening to good music (full blast) minding my own business when suddenly the police came bursting in. OK, I must admit that the music had been a
little on the high side, but its Saturday for Christ sake. We were on the way to Banglamphu and yesterday I had promised aDJ to bring him some HOT European music. So I had my pockets full of CDs.Well, the police came in and the first thing they caught sight of is, yeah, Aladdin behind the bar pouring drinks. A BIG NO NO in Funky Town. But what the, there were 4 or 5 of us and you know, sitting along a bar screaming to the guy on your far end. Well, my master plan was to go behind the bar. Easier to socializing and I could always keep a hand on the entertainment center. One thing gave the
other, suddenly, well, the good music and our friends made it such a homelike atmosphere and suddenly I found myself pouring drinks becoming the good host. No one complained, definitely not the owner. You should see the amount of bills in my cup.- You have to close the bar! The police said.A storm of protests and we were almost kicking the police out
of there.- OK! You have to close the bar for 5 minutes! The police said. Translated to: As soon as the Police is out of there we will turn on the music again and we can live with that.
Friday and then Saturday, my good morning beer at 1230 and
I deserved to feel the way I did Sunday and Monday. OK, miss school and gym for one day is something I can live with. As long as it’s not becoming a habit.Time turns quick and it's soon time to spend 2 weeks in Manila again and as soon as my hangover is a goner I will have to book my hotel room again. And last time staying at Oxford suites with no problem so I guess I will give it a try again. But this time I will skip
breakfast in the restaurant. I will buy pumpernickel and tea and stay in my room, away from cheese omelettes and sausages and stuff. Force Majeure
A superior force. An event that no human foresight could anticipate or which if anticipated, is too strong to be considered e.g. the urge for an “GOOD MORNING” beer. Circumstances must be abnormal and unforeseeable, so that the consequences could not have been avoided through the exercise of all due care.
OK, that's for now and I hope this was the last time for the rest of my life I was drunk both Friday and Saturday. Manila, last time, OK, that's what we call force majeure. But this last weekend, I have nothing to say for my defence. OK, d e Maskens fel.
That's a good one, I will blame it on Masken. We have my Italian adventure fresh in mind. I woke
up on the floor in Roma with half of the Italian Greenpeace looking down at me. 8 o'clock in the morning and I think it's easy for you to understand how I felt when I opened my eyes.- Where am I? All this people?! WATER! What did I do yesterday? Take me out of here!
The only thing I could say was:
- It's Masken! Yes, it is his fault!
- Do you want breakfast?
- I have a life saving telephone call I must attend to in my hotel room (looking at my wrist watch)
in about 45 seconds.- SEE YA LATER!
Well, morning school and gym, skipped. But I went for my afternoon class and it was nice to be back in the class room. And it was fun, most of the times its fun. But some days is like walking in
tar. You don't learn anything and you're not in your best mood when you leave the school.And the tones, 5 different tones and I can hear no difference. Well, I can hear the difference, but when you speak. And imagine after a few beer. OK, below are 2 examples. And after this there should be no doubt in your mind that this is not a lesson you want to attend to with a hangover force 9,8.
| Here we have:
• Chang Mai curry soup • Enter the street • Rice (steamed rice) • She is beautiful |
|
This is simply:
Who sell chicken eggs Well, from Europe and it can be hard to understand why you have to say chicken eggs. When you buy eggs in Sweden its chicken eggs. If you order “JUST” eggs around here you can run in to a surprise. |
Well, time to spend a few days on the beach. It has been a week with no gym and just a little school. The last few days I have had a Skåning living in my apartment. He is moving to Thailand and he is here to look for an apartment, at the beach. Sunday and he was returning to the beach,
luckily enough we spent Saturday night eating dinner only. So I only had a little hangover from Friday night.Well, Sunday, a slight hangover from Friday nights excitement and brainlessness. But luckily enough it didn't turned unpleasant and the Police never showed up. Well, anyway, not what I can remember.
My friend was ready to leave for the beach Sunday afternoon and I thought “what the heck, I can skip a few classes” and I joined him for
the beach. I will be back home for class on Wednesday. I calledmy school and I told them that I was sick.- I VERY sickand I will not be back until Wednesday!
Sunday was spent drinking soda water so I was full of vim when the reveille was beaten at 0900 Monday morning. Breakfast at 10 o'clock and we were
off to check a condominium next to the hotel. Smack on the beach, but the apartments were, well, not nice.It was studios and if you wanted a 2 room apartment you had to buy 2 studios and knock down the wall between then. Yeah, you understand what you have to do if you
want a 3 room apartment. Walking through the aisle was like walking pass prison cells, well or at a hotel.We were talking with an Italian lady owning 3 apartments, all 3 were for sale and I don't think she will find it easy to sell them.
We left the place and the Italian lady behind, my friend
had checked out a place he wanted to rent 2 weeks ago. On the way to the apartment we passed California WOW.We were looking for it Sunday evening but we could not find it. Already when we left FUNKY TOWN the plan was to go to California WOW for exercise. My membership is good for the California WOW on the beach as well.
My friend got a life time membership for the same price as I paid for 3 years in FUNKY TOWN, and his membership is also valid in FUNKY TOWN. Well, our memberships are valid on all California WOW gyms throughout Thailand.
We were walking around looking for the apartment when it started to rain.
-DARN!
Luckily enough we were stuck just outside a hairdresser.
- Hello! Do you do head massages? (I have heard that head massage cures baldness)
- No
- OK! Can I have a shampoo?
After 5 shampoo treatments (Mostly scratching and massaging my bald spot) the rain stopped and we left. After 200 meter is started to rain again and this time we were outside a Foot massage place. After a foot massage (scratching) and some more scratching of the bald spot we could continue looking for the apartment.
Tuesday 28 th of October 2008 and it was time to go to the gym. We were in an upbeat mode. My friend he got his apartment yesterday and he will move in tomorrow when I go back to FUNKY
TOWN and my school.My friend came to my room at 1230, he had been doing his bank business during the morning and I had stayed in my room. But first time for breakfast and then we were off to the gym. My friend ordered a hamburger (lunch) and I ordered omelette (breakfast) and tea. Hamburger sauce was served to his hamburger.
When he lived with me in FUNKY TOWN I had pestered him 24/7 about my roast beef, roasted onion and remoulade. OK, it was a German Scooby Doo remoulade I had found, but it was delicious. And we had been living on roast beef, roasted onion and remoulade in FUNKY TOWN.
But we're both from Skåne
and we're used to the Danish remoulade and even though the German remoulade was OK we agreed that the Danish remoulade was #1. But we were in for a surprise atthe breakfast.- Taste the hamburger sauce! It tastes like Danish remoulade.
It did and now we know what to buy for the roasted beef as soon as I have finished my German remoulade.
We were in a good mood when we left the restaurant
and 10 minutes later we were at California WOW sweating on the machines. Good, I need to lose a little. After the gym I'm off to a Swedish restaurant to pick up 2,2 kg Falukorv that I will bring back to FUNKY TOWN tomorrow.Maybe not the best for my diet, but its taste SO GOOD!
Wednesday and I ordered a wakeup call for 0800 and a taxi for 10 o'clock. I woke up by myself just after 7 so I had plenty time to pack my weekend bag before it was time to leave.
Breakfast with my friend and the taxi was in time, actually, the taxi was a little bit early. I left the hotel 5 minutes after 10 and I stepped through my door at 1230. First time on the beach without any party. Yeah, I know, but we're getting old and it was nice without the hangover. We spent time on the gym and with long walks along the beach. OK, I will be back on Friday and then it will not be any walks along the beach.
Friday night in FUNKY TOWN
Tuesday afternoon at the gym
Time to start our new life
Well, I was in school at 2 o'clock and I studied for 2 hours before going to my travel agency to buy my ticket to Manila. Now I have both ticket and hotel and everything is ready with my school in Manila. I was running late and I had to take a taxi to my next school that starts at 5 o'clock.
Well, at least to say; times turns quick. Back in school on Wednesday and Thursday was a full day.
At 11 I meet my friend at California WOW for someexercise. When it was time to leave the rain started to pour down and we were stuck at California WOW.- DARN!I don't have time to hang around California WOW waiting
for the rain to stop. I have to be in school in 1 hour and Ineed to go home to take a shower and change cloths.I was 15 minutes late for school yesterday due to the rain. Today I will be in time and I will bring my weekend bag so I can take off for the beach straight from school.
But before going to school I'm off to California WOW and a little
exercise, some GOOD MORNING action will do me good and I will look dashing when I arrive to the beach. But if I fail to look dashing by means of the exercise I have a backup plan.- 10 bottles of Breezers and that's a 100% guarantee to look good at arrival to the beach.
late and leaving 10 minutes early and I was on the street and my waiting taxi just after 4.I took a taxi going to school, it was a brand new
car with a working CD player. I asked the driver if he wanted to take me to the beach.We decided to meet at Villa Market at Soi 11 10 minutes after 4. That gave me time to buy a few Bacardi Breezers at Villa Market before taking off to the beach.
A wee bit of traffic jam and it took us about 30 minutes to get on the highway. But as soon as we were on the highway the traffic was running smooth and we were hauling ass.
The airplanes are still there
We passed the airplanes on the way to the beach and they have been there for as long as I can remember. I think they have stayed at the junk yard for more than 20 years and I don't know if they have any plans for them.I was on the beach with a drink
in my hand after about 2 hours. 2 hours from school to bar is pretty good. I just finished my first Vodka Orange when my friend arrived with a bag ofremoulade. He was on town shopping the other day when he found the Danish remoulade and hecalled me in FUNKY TOWN.- Yoo! I found the Danish remoulade at TESCO!
- Bay everything they have! I screamed.
Saturday morning , well, Saturday afternoon and it was not very
nice to wake up with a force 9,6 hangover. Motherf@ncker! How many Vodka Orangedid I have yesterday? I really don't know andI'm not sure how I got to my hotel. So obviously I had been drunk like a sailor.My friend called in the afternoon. I was in my room drinking
water like there was no tomorrow. I emptied the mini bar in 3 seconds and my room was full of empty water bottles. So at least to say, I didn't feel like a million when he called me.- Time to play golf!- OK, see you in the reception, I replied.
My friend asked the reception what time I had checked in this very morning and according to the computer I checked in at 0200. Well, so at least I got a few hours of sleep.
We left the hotel looking for a taxi to take us to the driving range. We had decided to play at the driving range earlier this week. I will try it out and if I like it we can join a golf club together.
It was hot and I had a terrible hangover. So I was drinking plenty water again and the “Crew” at the driving range were busy bringing water to us. The water helped to alleviate the heat, but just a little. But It takes more than water to cure a raving hangover. Afternoon activities
When we were ready with the golf we were hungry and we walked down 3rd Road looking for a restaurant. We passed a golf shop and we went in to check if they had any clubs for beginners.
We found a Danish restaurant further down the road. We entered a empty restaurant, well,there was a guy from Norway sitting at a table drinking beer.We ordered our food, I had a Hakkebøf. Better off taking the opportunity when at a Danish restaurant. We had just got our water when the Norwegian guy asked us if we had bought golf clubs.
- No, we have been at the driving range.
- So you play golf?
- Yeah, trying to keep our self busy.
- Well, I don't like golf, he informed us.
Turned out that he pretty much didn't liked anything. He had been living at the guesthouse, top floor at the restaurant, for 2 years.
- What are you doing all day long? Do you have any friends? I asked.
- I like my own company best, he said.
Living 2 years at the guesthouse, we remember me trying to survive 3 days on a guesthouse back in
2006 when all hotels were fully booked. Hell, you had to be drunk to dare going in to the bathroom.
Living 2 years at a guesthouse and sit in the restaurant alone drinking beer all day long. He didn't liked Thai food, didn't spoke a word of Thai. Not the only one as we can read in “Not The Nation”
and he pretty much didn't like to do anything. Well, he played bridge, or at least he like to but I don't know if he did play any cards.He didn't like the place and he told us he drank too much.
- I drink too much in Norway too!
- Well, give up drinking and start to activate yourself, I suggested.
No, life was shit in general and he didn't like the place. Well, I wonder why he had stayed for 2 years at the guesthouse. Well, never mind. We left with a bye bye and it didn't take long for us
to agree that we were better off than the Norwegian.I returned to my hotel for a shower and my friend came to pick me up at the reception 2 hours later. SATURDAY NIGHT
and time for a soda water, yeah, the spirit was high.Well, coming out from the hotel we turned right, not necessary to turn left and pass the places we went to yesterday. Better if we give them some time to forget us. We stopped at a place after a
brisk 10 minutes walk and my friend ordered a Bacardi Breezer and I ordered a Soda water.Next stop was a bar in a garden, well, it looked like a garden. The music was good and I could not sit there drinking Soda water. I ordered a Vodka Orange and my companion was surprised.
-No more soda water??!!
Well, I’ll be darned! Charisma man was not far away.
Sunday, waking up was not a nice experience. Bowling!! Yesterday while at the driving range we
decided to play bowling today. I regretted our as it seemed yesterday smart move to decide to play bowling. I have felt better, but I got out of bed and we took the walk to the bowling place.Water, I drank water like there was no tomorrow and for sure, I didn't impressed any one atthe bowling place. I was on the track or whatever they call it at bowling places. I was a little impressed by the action picturesI got. I even managed to get a picture of my bowling ball when I threw it.And as you can see on the picture I miss the target by meters. But it's not easy throwing the ball and taking pictures at the same time. But pictures are more important than the darn bowling ball.
And if I get good pictures there is always a little something for you to see on aladdin.st. OK, we have seen our share of crap on aladdin.st as well.We played 4 games before we left the place, 5 strikes on 4 games is nothing you write home about. But it's not easy with a hangover force 9,8. Well, to have fun is the most important and I doubt that I had felt better staying in my bed. At least we have done a little something and I'm sure we burnt a few calories at the bowling place.
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Afternoon activities
Burning calories and we got hungry. Time for a pizza down on the beach and we took the 5 minuteswalk to the restaurant. We were alone at the restaurant, well, there was 4 peopleeating but it was a big place and we could sit alone.I'm not exactly in a mood to socialize with strangers with my hangover. Yeah, I think you
know how it is. We ordered pizza and garlic bread and when we left the restaurant we felt worse when coming in. It was excellent food, but someone cranked up the hangover a notch and I just knew that it would be a long night ahead. Not very easy to sleep the day after a social event.I decided to go home to FUNKY TOWN tonight and be at the gym tomorrow at 11. But before
returning we went shopping at Villa Market. I need milk for my morning tea, I also need some roast beef.You know that I got my remoulade pretty much smack at the arrival Friday night. We were lucky yesterday, we passed a Danish Restaurant. Not the one where we meet the Norwegian. It was 10 o'clock in the night and we were tipsy.
We passed the restaurant and when we had walked some 20 meters we decided to go back for a drink. This was a biker hangout and it was almost like sitting at a bar in Denmark. But the best thing, when we left we had 800g of deep fried onion. SWEDISH!! Yeah, the owner got his deep fried onion from Sweden and not from Denmark. Well, I'm sure he bought it in Denmark, but it was Swedish onion.
So I only need some roast beef and I'm ready to leave for FUNKY TOWN. If I go home tomorrow morning I will miss my gym so I can as well get back home tonight. Back to my hotel, checking out and I was on my way just after 1930.
Well, back home and it's just to start with the gym and school again, nice! It's still raining, but
November should be the last month in the rain season.The other day when I left the gym it was all dark out side, approaching rain. I passed through a galleria on my way home
and when I came out it was starting to rain. A few minutes later it was pouring down and I was soaked when I got home. Never mind, I was on my way home to take a shower and change cloths before going to school.Well, the best thing with my apartment is the laundry room. When I came home I stepped right in to laundry room and I took off the cloths and I put them straight in to the washing machine.When I went back to the gym the day after they were asking me if I was cold yesterday when
walking in the rain. Yes, they know me in the neighbourhood.- Hmm, I wonder why??!!
Well, I have a new ship. When I signed off Bro Provider they asked me if I wanted to sign on Bro Promotion 19th of December. Well, I really didn't want to. But this week we agreed that I'm signing on Bro Promotion in the middle of December 2008.
It will be nice, I have spent enough money this last month.
And by signing on Bro Promotion they have to pay for my courses, hotel, air tickets and salary. This will give me an extra 5-7000 US dollar, can come in handy.Thursday 6 th of November 2008 and my 30 days stay in FUNKY TOWN is about to expire. I have to leave the country before 8th of November, or pay a 500 Scooby Dollar/ day in overstay fine.
I need 15 days extension, I'm leaving the 23rd of November to the
Hotel Description
Strategically located in the heart of Singapore, Swissôtel The Stamford is a luxury hotel that boasts a prime location within business, cultural, shopping and entertainment areas. Singapore Changi International Airport is just 20 minutes away.As Southeast Asia's tallest hotel, Swissôtel The Stamford offers panoramic views of Singapore, Indonesia and Malaysia.
The hotel offers a deluxe range of guest rooms and luxurious suites with a wealth of amenities. Its leisure facilities include Asia's largest spa, Willow Stream Spa. The hotel also features a range of exquisite restaurants and lounges, gourmet specialties, two outdoor swimming pools, six tennis courts and a fitness club.
Raffles City Convention Centre offers technologically advanced meeting facilities.
- Never mind! I said and left.
I called my travel agent and I booked a ticket to Singapore and I booked a room at my favourite hotel in Singapore, Swissôtel
The Stamford. I stopped at the travel agent on my way to school and after school I went to pick up my ticket and hotel booking.When I came home from school I ordered snus to be delivered to my hotel in Manila and I packed my weekend bag. I have to skip gym tomorrow, my flight is leaving at 11 o'clock and I will arrive to Singapore around 2 o'clock. 1 hour time difference so you understand that the flight is about 2 hours long.
Well, I will get 21 rolls of snus in Manila, I hope
Nice to have arranged for snus and I'm ready to leave for the ship after my courses. 21 rolls should keep me covered for 10 weeks onboard Bro Promotion. - DARN! Easy easy!I was almost shitting my self in the back seat. The driver looked like he was several hundreds years old. His left hand was like a, well, like a club-foot. He had to operate everything with his right hand while flying towards the airport in 140.
FUNKY TOWN International
We reached the airport in a record breaking time. I stepped out of the taxi 10 minutes past 10and I went to the check-in. I was the only one checking in so I was in the Immigration 2 minutes later. Priority line and I was alone in the Immigration.But I was held up by the Immigration Officers comments about my shirts.
- Where did you get the shirt?
- Nice shirt!
It has been the same story since I bought my new shirts a few weeks back. Walking down the street and everyone wants to feel the quality giving comments and asking where I bought my shirts.When I finally got ready in the Immigration I went to gate C4 and Thai Airways flight to Singapore. Departure
time 1100 and boarding starts at 1030. What do they mean by boarding? I never experienced any boardingstarting in time. Or maybe they mean that they open the gate at 1030 and that the boarding starts when all passengers are present at the gate.I had to wait for, well, maybe 10 minutes before the boarding started and we left FUNKY TOWN pretty much in time. The older I get the more I hate flying, taxi, bouncing along the runway while gaining speed, taking off and the slow climb to cruising altitude. Ascending, well, it’s not very nice to sit there wondering if we will make it. Suddenly, when reaching altitude, the plane levels out and it feels like “WE'RE GOING DOWN”.
FUNKY TOWN International
Levelling out and groggbordet came rolling down the aisle a few minutes after 11. 11 o'clock:
- Hmm, maybe too early for wine?!Hell no, it's over 12 o'clock in Singapore so a little lunch wine
would be nice.- Can I please have some white wine?
- What kind do you want?
- Well, what do I know? I don't know so can I please have a glass of both!
- 2 different?
- Yeah, I don't know which one is good. Drop some ice
in the glass and it's a sure thing.- ICE??!!
She looked puzzled. Ice in the wine and it's the same
story every time. White wine tastes good if it's cold enough, never mind what white wine it is. SO I always add ice in the glass and I always get reactions. Yeah, we remember Rainbow Warrior. The Italians onboard were almost throwing me overboard. - ICE IN THE WINE! YOU SAVAGE!
The Stewardesses were coming with wine all the time and they
never missed an opportunity to give a comment on my shirt. It was a pleasant flight, not many passengers. But I had 2guys behind me and I'll be darned. One of them complained about me listening to music in my iPod.I just saw some one waving behind me. I turned around thinking “what the...”
- Can you please turn it down a bit?
- Motherf@cker! How can this guy be disturbed by my iPod?Well, I turned down the iPod a bit and I continued to enjoy the trip. My wine glasses were always full and my mood improved by the minute.
I skipped the food, there was so much food and I had to tell the Stewardess that I was on a diet.
- Do you want fruit?
- No thanks!
- Well, we have cheese and fruit and fruit is
good for your diet. Are you sure you don't want anyfruit?- Wine is good enough for me.
2 bottles of wine later and Charisma Man arrived to Singapore. I was tipsy and in a good mood. Tipsy, a good but also dangerous state to be in . We remember the taxi driver from Los Angeles, he took me
to a restaurant for my first beer and we were chatting along.We were talking hangovers, he was 60 and I asked how the hangovers were at that age.
- Must be terrible!
- Yes, but not only that. You're tipsy after 2 beers.
- Yeah, tipsy is the best state, but it's difficult to keep it just tipsy, I said.
- After 2 beers the girls (Interesting, he's 60 and he still calls it girls. That's the spirit!) loves you. You're witty and handsome. But after 3 beers it's another story. “ Who is this obnoxious guy? Take him away! ”
- Yeah, that's when the police usually turn up!
Well, this was how I arrived to Singapore, witty & handsome and with the nicest shirt ever seen on Singapore International. The girls looked and said “nice shirt” and the girls in the shops on the way to immigration were waving at me.
Passing the Immigration and the first thing the old lady checking my passport and immigration card said:
- Nice shirt! Where did you bought that shirt?
But things where soon to get more serious. She asked where I arrived from and what airline I arrived with.
- I'm coming from FUNKY TOWN with Thai
- You got the wrong flight number.
- Well, I just took a wild guess.
- We take these things serious in Singapore.
She filled up the correct flight number and then it was all laughs again.
- Welcome to Singapore!
Well, anyway, I decided to do an experiment. How long can I stay tipsy? No more drinks until arriving to my hotel. I was in a good mood after passing the custom and 2 minutes later I was sitting in a taxi on the way to my hotel.
- Darn! I don't have any money.
I asked the driver if he could stop at an ATM machine. The first machine didn't take AMEX. My
VISA card has expired and I'm still waiting for the new card to be delivered and I didn't brought the pin codefor my MasterCard.Same story at the second machine and I walked to the next bank and I was lucky, the machine accepted AMEX.
I forgot my B-12 at home so I stopped to buy some B-12 vitamins on the way back to the taxi. OK, money and B-12 and we're ready to take off to the hotel.
Check in and 3 minutes later I was on my room pouring a glass of wine. Then I called the company I found on the internet yesterday, well, actually 3 o'clock this very morning. I could not sleep and I decided to check out the internet for computer bags for laptops
with a 20" screen. I found one and I printed the address and phone number.I called the company and I asked if they had their biggest bag available.
- How many do you want?
- One
- Well, we are the importers and we only sell to shops.
- I just arrived from FUNKY TOWN to buy this bag and I will go back tomorrow.
- Let me see if we have one bag at the office.
Turned out that they had one bag at the office and I finished my wine dropped a fist of B-12s and I was off with the taxi.
Their office were located in an area with offices and car shops outside the city centre. It was a quick ride, they just opened a new tunnel going under Singapore so we skipped the traffic jam. 15 minutes later I was at the office and 5 minutes later I had my bag.
Getting a taxi getting back to my hotel was not the easiest thing, and by now my tipsiness had turned in to an
headache. I was not in the best mood when I finally got a taxi. Boat Quay from my hotel
I had a spaghetti Carbonara back at the hotel before returning my new bag to my room. Then I was off for the Boat Quay, a mere 3 minute’s taxi ride. Arriving in full day light and I could not help notice the changes since I was here last time. English pubs, Irish pubs and Sports bars every where.
Well it's a horrid tendency.
- Hmm, wasn't that a song by Kjell Höglund?
Same in FUNKY TOWN, the sports bars and English pubs are popping up everywhere. They all have signs like:
- Probably the best English pub in the area
- LIVE SOCCER!!!!
Yeah, sounds like a good night out.
Well, anyway, I was walking around almost givin' up the Boat Quay and leave for Clark Quay. According to one of the girl at the bag company “Clarke” was gaining popularity.
Yeah, I can understand that. If Boat Quay turns in to a big sport bar it's easy to take the 5 minutes walk to Clarke Quay. I passed an English pub and there were 3 or 4 English ladies sitting outside drinking beer. They turned around looking at me.
- NICE SHIRT!
- Take me out of here, I thought.
- Take me out of here, I thought.
I decided to leave when I passed something called the ESKI BAR. Didn't looked like a sports bar or an English pub so I gave it a try. Icame in to a big freezer.- What the hell is this?
- It's an ICE BAR.
- Exactly how fun is that?Well, if you judge the place by how many visitors they
have this place was 0 fun, no visitors.- Yeah, 0 fun.
I was just about to f@ck off out of there when the guy showed me a door at the other end and we entered. Still the
icy looks, but the bar was room temperate and they had music going on. And not a big screen with a soccer game going on as far as I could see.I ordered a Vodka Red Bull and I started to chat with a beautiful girl, I mean really beautiful, sitting next to me.
- Hmm, well, you know me. I'm a little shy, especially in new surroundings. So there was no chatting until she leaned forward feeling the fabric in my shirt.
- That's a marvellous shirt you're having! Where did you buy it?
I was soon loosing up, I had 2 Vodka Red Bull in front of me. And they were mixing one more for me in the bar. As my friend said after our last drinking spree.
- Damn, you always have two drinks in front of you and they are always mixing one for you in the bar. Now I understand why you get the terrible hangovers.
What do you know? I was safely relieved by Charisma Man and he's always on top off things.
tipsy. The headache was long gone and they must have found me pretty witty because we were soon rolling around on the floor laughing.I remember a few years ago, Gothenburg, Sweden. We just finished last day in school before the summer leave. I went to a restaurant together with Masken & Greven. We should have lunch before it was bye-bye see ya at autumn. Well, actually not, I was not going back to school, Masken was going to borrow my apartment and I was going to return 1 year later.
To make a long story short: Masken got us thrown out from the apartment. I was returning 2 years
later from India, barefoot and with 1 dollar in my pocket. Masken and Greven managed tofinish school before getting kicked out.Luckily enough Greven had kept his student room in Gothenburg when he moved back to Skåne.So I moved in to the student home and I had the time off my life. 8 students were living there and always some kind of party going on.
Never mind, back to the restaurant. Lunch, ended up with a beer. 3 beers latter the waitress spend all her time at our table. The owner wasn't happy.
- Go on! Sit down at their table, you have so much fun here! Never mind the other guests.
After 8 beers (Amazing how you are able to stay witty no matter how much you drank when you were young) the owner came dragging with a chair. Placed it at our table.
- Go on! Sit down at their table, you have so much fun here! Never mind the other guests.
Well, a few more beers and he came running with the bill. Threw it on the table while screaming to the waitress to bugger off.
And back to ....Singapore. Where were we? Yeah, at ESKI BAR and things was turning fun.
We had a very good time and as usually it's better to leave when your on top. Our beautiful bartender told me to come back and she followed me out to the freezer room. Waving.- Come back soon!
Boat Quay had turned in to a big English pub with soccer on big screen TVs and Irish music. Well,
a water hole like ESKI and 50 Karaoke places and that's pretty much it. At ESKI they told me about a club along the Canal.- Just go under the tunnel and it's on your left hand side.
I found the club and I had a few drinks and I was soon off again. I went to a few of the Karaoke bars and it was pretty OK when you were dead drunk. I was talking
with a guy while his wife beat all the others in pool even though she was a wee bit distracted by my shirt.I ended up at a place with a live band and from there on things got a little blurred. GOD HELP ME! I returned to ESKI BAR.
I never learn.- Come back soon!
I always forget the taxi driver in Los Angeles when you need it the most.
- After 2 beers the girls (Interesting, he's 60 and he still calls it girls. That's the spirit!) loves you. You're witty and handsome. But after 3 beers it's another story. “ Who is this obnoxious guy? Take him away! ”
After spending 800 dollar on Vodka Red Bull Idecided to go see the girl at ESKI BAR. I'm not sure, but she might be interested in getting married to a 500 kg old and bald fart.- Yeah, fat chance!
I don't remember much of my last visit to the ESKI BAR, but one thing is for sure. I'm in no hurry to come back. I prefer to give them a few weeks to forget me.Saturday, I rolled out of bed around 11 o'clock. WATER! I NEED WATER! I grabbed a big bottle
of water from the mini bar and I returned to bed. After 30 minutes I called room service for a breakfast. I felt bad with a rampant agony, and what the BIP
did I do yesterday? For sure I don't hope I was laying in the gutter some where sending SMS poetry to the (Very) beautiful girl at ESKI.I have my “5 o'clock in the morning” encounter
with the California WOW girl fresh in mind.No more embarrassments!
I were off to get my 2nd one litre bottle of water
and on the way back to my bed I read the label on the bottle. I got furious! I will never ever stay at any Swissôtel again.I have read all them stupid appeals that we should save our world. Yeah, I agree, but should I run around in my room collecting towels and robes and put them in the bath tub to save our dying globe while Swissôtel transporting water.
- Hmm, what did it say on the bottle again?
- Hmm, YEAH! thousands of miles away!
Them f@ckers transporting water thousands of mile and now they want me to believe that they are concerned about our dying globe.
But I have been on about this “Riding the green wave” to save some dollars before. Imagine a hotel with thousands of room, there are a few dollars to save if you don't have to clean and change the linen.
bathrobes to get them in to the bath tube. So then they don't change them for you!What the f@ck! You pay millions to stay at the darn place and you're ending up as the Maid.
And do you know how much the charged me for 2 bottles of water? 25 dollar! Yes, you got it right, 25 dollar!! This, once my favourite place (OK, then it was WESTIN Stamford) had turned in to a place where you're getting conned.1 o'clock and I checked out and I was off to the airport. I was in a, well, actually so angry that I had forgot all about the hangover. Please! Collect your towels and bath robes in the bathtub. We're concerned about the environment!No, actually a double
Well, I'm concerned about the environment. But I could not help my self. I got a shave with their
shaving kit. It was painful, cheap razor and foam so the shave comes in high on my list of “the worst shaves ever”
. Yeah, it will fall right on top of that list!- Oh, tooth brushes! I need to brush my teethI have my own tooth brush and paste with me, but I'm concerned about the environment.
So why not use their stuff. I'm also bald, never mind, I used all shampoo, conditioner and all the other bottles and stuff they had lined up in the bathroom. Dear Guest!
If you don't want to change your linen and towels we will give you a 100 Dollar discount.
THAT'S HOW COMMITTED WE ARE TO THE ENVIRONMENT!
If you don't want to change your linen and towels we will give you a 100 Dollar discount.
THAT'S HOW COMMITTED WE ARE TO THE ENVIRONMENT!
Never mind, Saturday and I will arrive to FUNKY TOWN 5 o'clock and it will be a night out. Check in, Immigration, lounge (1 diet drink and 3 salmon sandwiches), boarding and take off. The hangover hit me hard at the airport and I was pretty annoyed every time they mentioned my shirt. - Very Nice!
- Looks very expensive!
- Where did you buy it?
Coming on the plane and the Stewardesses were eyeballing me.
- Yeah-yeah, I know! Nice shirt!
But it was worse when the passengers around me started to interview me about the shirt. iPod on, full blast and problem solved. But the worst thing was, and now realise that I had a hangover and I don't need any extra attention. But I discovered that my Roast beef, remoulade and fried onion diet had blowing up in my face. I ripped the safety belt to pieces when I tried to buckle up. How
embarrassing.- My belt is broken!
- Do you want to bring you an EXTENSION belt?
- The problem is that the belt is broken, I said.
I changed seat and by now I had had all the attention I
needed for a few years. iPod on and where the hell is Grogg bordet?It didn't take long before I 2 glass of white wine and we were on the way back home. I was feeling worse and worse and by the time we reached FUNKY TOWN my hangover was a full force 10.
I took a taxi straight home calling my friend cancelling the night out. I made a quick raid to my supermarket to buy fruit in the evening. Yeah, believe me! The faux pas that will be remembered forever as the “SEAT BELT” incident had a great impact on me.
From now on its only fruit, gym and school.
It was very uncertain if I could make it to the gym Tuesday morning. I made it to the gym, but after that I spent 2 days in bed. No school and gym for a few days. I could not make it out of my bed. I was freezing cold laying in bed shaking for 2 days. Thursday & Friday was better but it was a wasted week.- Hmm, maybe there was something in the water from Fuji that made me sick? DARN!
Slowely getting better and I need to be fit when it's time to go to Manila 23rd of November.
OK, it has come to my knowledge that we have senior citizens visiting my web page. How hard
can it be? So it’s not very easy for them to see the blue coloured links to the next page. Jiffy (also jiff)
noun [in SING.] informal a moment: we'll be back in a jiffy.
ORIGIN late 18th cent.: of unknown origin.
So as you understand, in a jiff pretty much depends on your internet.
Marunong ka mag-tagalog? Walang problema! Magpunta sa kabilang pahina pindutin ang “NEXT” button sa itaasFaites vous parlez le français? Pour arriver à la page suivante faites s'il vous plaît un déclic le bouton “Next” ci-dessus!Haga usted dice el español? Ver la siguiente página sólo hacer clic el botón “Next” encima!Farla parla l'italiano? Per vedere la prossima pagina lo scatto per favore giusto Il bottone “Next” sopraSprechen sie Deutsch! Kein problem! Wenn Sie die folgende Seite sehen wollen gerade klicken der Knopf “Next” oben! คุณพูดภาษาไทยได้ไหม ไม่มีปัญหา ถ้าคุณต้องการไปหน้าถัดไป ให้กดปุ่ม “Next”
ข้างบนนี้
Вы говорите по-русски? NJET PROBLEMA! Просто нажмите синюю кнопку "Next" с левой стороны и Вы моментально переместитесь на следующую страницу!
E ni Svenskar och inte förstår Engelska så ska ni skämmas. J och Björn, med det menar jag inte att alla mina stavfel ska ältas varje gång vi träffas.Well, the flag of Skåne, just a BONUS flag.
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