OK, it has come to my knowledge that we have senior citizens visiting my web page. How hard can it
be? So it's not very easy for them to see the blue coloured links to the next page. Jiffy (also jiff)
noun [in SING.] informal a moment: we'll be back in a jiffy.
ORIGIN late 18th cent.: of unknown origin.
So as you understand, in a jiff pretty much depends on your internet.
Marunong ka mag-tagalog? Walang problema! Magpunta sa kabilang pahina pindutin ang “NEXT” button sa itaas
Faites vous parlez le français? Pas de problème! Pour arriver à la page suivante faites s'il vous plaît un déclic le bouton “Next” ci-dessus!
Haga usted dice el español? No hay problema! Ver la siguiente página sólo hacer clic el botón “Next” encima!
Farla parla l'italiano? Non problemi! Per vedere la prossima pagina lo scatto per favore giusto Il bottone “Next” sopra
Sprechen sie Deutsch! Kein problem! Wenn Sie die folgende Seite sehen wollen gerade klicken der Knopf “Next” oben!
คุณพูดภาษาไทยได้ไหม ไม่มีปัญหา ถ้าคุณต้องการไปหน้าถัดไป ให้กดปุ่ม “Next”
ข้างบนนี้
Вы говорите по-русски? NJET PROBLEMA! Просто нажмите синюю кнопку "Next" с левой стороны и Вы моментально переместитесь на следующую страницу!
E ni Svenskar och inte förstår Engelska så ska ni skämmas. J och Björn, med det menar jag inte att alla mina stavfel ska ältas varje gång vi träffas.
Well, the flag of Skåne, just a BONUS flag.
Friday 5 th of April 2012 and I put my weekend bag at the security hut and I went to flirt with
the girls in the office while they were looking for a taxi for me.One of our handy men were painting the security hut and I took the time to “pep” him. I was in the office when the girl told me that the taxi was coming. I went out and the security put my bag in the taxi and I was off towards Suvarnabhumi and Thai Airways flight TG 407 to Singapore.
I had not been smoking for many days now, but as I had not brought my e-cigarette I went to 7 Eleven to buy a pack of fags after check-in. 7 Eleven didn't sell cigarettes so had to go to some mini mart outside the airport.
I had a coffin nail and it tasted terrible and I really regretted that I hadn't brought my e-cigarette. I passed security and immigration n 3 minutes, it was only me and one more guy there so it
went very quick. My flight leaves from Gate D1 A and I bought 3 packs of orange juice and I went to the smoke room at Gate D1 AThere were 3 very beautiful girls from
Singapore smoking in the smoke room when I came in. I asked if they had a lighter. They lit me up and I said thank you. I was just about to start talking to them when...- Nice shirt!
- Nice tattoo! The second girl said
- Nice ear! The third one said and after that it was like I lost interest in talking to them and I never said anything. But I was looking, they were very beautiful.Hmm, imagine if I had have a few beers instead of the orange juice and Charisma Man would have, well, most likely made a tit out of himself, again.
Time to board the darn flight and gate D1 A and I knew we had to go by buss. And the doors were
open to the aircraft and it was very hot, but they gave me a beer while waiting for takeoff. A Singha beer so it lasted me pretty much until we took off.As soon as the safety belt sign was off I asked for a Heineken and I were soon sitting with 2 cans and I had ice in my glass. And after a few beers they were kind of OK. Not like San Miguel Light, but better than nothing.
I had an excellent starter, smoked salmon and then it was Chilean sea bass as main course and when the cake cart came I was full and I just asked for another Heineken beer.
- And please, fill up my glass with ice
I was at the taxi stand less than 10 minutes after landing in Singapore and there were people waiting for the taxi, but no taxis. There was a Chrysler waiting but seems like the passengers don't
want to ride in the Chrysler because of the price tag. I had been hoping for a Chrysler since I left home earlier this morning so I was happy.I put my bag in the trunk and we took off towards a ATM and a place to buy beer. I started to talk Thai with the driver, yeah, routine after several taxi rides in Bangkok.
The driver replied in Thai and we went on for 10 minutes before I realised that we were in Singapore and I asked him why he was talking Thai. I think it was something with a temple somewhere in Thailand.
Never mind, I had money and I had bought 2 cans of Tiger beer, should be enough to last me until Novotel Clarke Quay.I interrogated the driver about the car, I really don't like cars and usually don't care. And I will never buy any car (most likely) but if I'm going to buy a car I want to have a Chrysler and some information can come in handy.
The best car in the word is a car with a taxi
sign on the roof with me in the back, except for when Charisma Man is riding up front in charge over the TAXI CD.We arrived to Novotel Clarke Quay and I checked in. I had a Tiger beer while setting up my computer and I was soon having Roffe Ruff blasting high in my room. And I was pretty impressed by my room, all kinds of electric sockets so no need for any adapters.
I walked to Boat Quay and I didn't recognised Clarke Quay, the place where I had got hold up with my TAXI CD last time was gone. And there was a Hooters, a clear sign off things going downhill. I
was going to meet the American girl at Eskibar and I walked towards the bar. I made a stop and I got a San Miguel Light “Original” Imported from the Philippines and I swear to God, I thought the darn beer evaporated because the bottle was empty in less than 40 seconds. The beer disappeared like an Aspirin. The san Miguel Light made in Thailand is OK, but this one was,hmm, maybe time to go to Manila for some real beer.Heineken have bought Tiger and it is not easy to find any Tiger Light any more. Not even Tiger, seems like Corona is the beer they like to drink here now. I asked at Eskibar.
- No one asking for Tiger anymore so we have Corona
And Eskibar was beyond recognition and I left the place and I walked to the American girl's guesthouse to tell her that Eskibar was off. She lives at Prince of Wales on Boat Quay 200 meters from Eskibar and I walked there. Half way I heard someone screaming Aladdin and I looked around.
I recognised the American girl's voice, but I could not see her.I discovered her at a table outside Prince of Wales and she was sitting with another guy. I thought it was a guy from the fight club, but it was a guy living at the guest house.
She asked about Eskibar and I told her not to bother. The place has gone downhill, from the best place at the Boat Quay to a normal place with boring music and, well, I will not go there again. They brought me a Tiger beer in a wine glass full of ice. Her friend was from UK, but he had just come back from
Australia and he was going to spend a few days in Singapore.We were having more than 2 beers at Prince of Wales and there was another guy coming to our table. And yes, because of my shirt. Blah-blah-bla and it turned out that he was from Sweden. Been living here for 8 years and he was
having a party tomorrow and he invited us.Time turned quickly and it was soon midnight. We decided to go check out the night club on the 73rd floor at Swissôtel. Good luck finding a taxi in Singapore, darn, I miss the taxi in Bangkok. As I told my friend the other day. The best thing happened in Bangkok is the taxi meters and that Thai people have started to wear shoes. Back in the days you saw guys walking around in suits and flip flops.
But now it is OK in Bangkok, at least regarding TAXI and shoes.We didn't found any taxi and there was a bicycle rickshaw coming down the road. He wanted to take us to Swissôtel and we got on, well, we tried to get on. He could not move the rickshaw with the load. So our new friend from UK took over and we started to move down the road, of course, we gave up.
The rickshaw guy was desperately calling for a friend to come help him with a back up rickshaw, he was for sure not wanting to miss this business opportunity. But we gave up the rickshaw and we started the futile task to find a taxi and by the time we found a taxi it was 2 and of course, at Swissôtel there was a dress code.
For sure, nothing good had come from Swissôtel since Westin sold the hotel, usually my favourite hotel in Singapore.
- You have to change to long pants and then you can come back
We left Swissôtel and luckily enough we found a taxi outside.
- Where to go?
- Club Street
- It is closed
Our friend from UK wanted to go to Orchard tower
- It is a big whore house, I said
I had been there once, back in 1995 and I can't say that I like it. But he and the American girl wanted to go. And of course, the taxi driver. Their standard suggestion.
- Orchard Tower, you can meet Thai girls
- And why the foock do I want to go from Bangkok to Singapore to meet Thai girls?
Our Rickshaw adventure in Singapore 5th of April 2013
Thanks to the American girl for pictures
The rickshaw driver is desperately calling his rickshaw friend for another rickshaw
Only took one try to get the 3 of us to Swissôtel before he understood that he needed back up
The rickshaw driver is desperately calling his rickshaw friend for another rickshaw
Only took one try to get the 3 of us to Swissôtel before he understood that he needed back up
The rickshaw driver is desperately calling his rickshaw friend for another rickshaw
Only took one try to get the 3 of us to Swissôtel before he understood that he needed back up
The rickshaw driver is desperately calling his rickshaw friend for another rickshaw
Only took one try to get the 3 of us to Swissôtel before he understood that he needed back up
Thanks to the American girl for pictures
In the taxi going to Orchard Tower
We arrived to Orchard Tower and there was plenty Billy Boysingar outside. Have you been to Orchard Tower, it is like a shopping mall with different bars with prostitutes, not a very fun place. But we stepped inside one of the bars and there was a life band playing, yes, I was surprised, it was pretty good music. We had more Tiger beers, you would have expected them to have San Miguel Light, but no. So it was Tiger beer with ice.
It was 4 or 5 when we left and I took a taxi to Clarke Quay and my friends took a taxi to Boat Quay. I stepped out of the taxi at Novotel and I crossed the street to a Chinese disco. A new place according to the driver. I don't know what time it was when I left.
Orchard Tower
Orchard Tower
Orchard Tower
I don't know, but I'm pretty sure the girls in the back isn't there because they like the music
Orchard Tower
Or maybe....
+++++++++++++++
Saturday 6 th
of April 2013
and I have felt better waking up. No way that I will make it to the gym to see the American girl. But I will meet her at 4 at Prince of Wales, so there is some time to
have a few beers before that. I'm about to foocking capsize so a few beers are needed to straight up a heavy list.I left my room at 3 o'clock and as there was a long line of people waiting at the taxi stand so I had to walk to the Boat Quay. Normally not any problem, but now I have my black toe and I was limping to the Boat Quay. I was going to meet the American girl at 4 and I had planned for a stop for breakfast. The Italian restaurant was closed and I went in to a pub.
- Can I see the menu please?
I got a menu but it was only drinks.
- The food menu please
- The kitchen don't open until 4
- OK, bye bye
- You can read the menu
- Why the foock do I want to waste my time reading the menu when the kitchen is closed
I walked down the Boat Quay and I passed a place called London Times and I went inside. I asked
for tea and egg and bacon. I went over the Prince of Wales to see if the American girl was there. The Waitress said hello and asked if I wanted a beer. I told her that I had a breakfast a few restaurants up the Boat Quay.- But I will be back for a few drinks in a jiff
I returned to London Times and I finished my breakfast, and it was a very good breakfast. Except for the eggs, the fry the eggs in a form and 4 eggs was served as one big 3 cm thick egg with 4 yolks. I didn't finish my eggs, but never mind the rest was good. I left for Prince of Wales and I got a Tiger beer
in a wine glass full of ice. The hangover was
soon gone and I felt a wee bit better and it was easier to talk. Now it was only the music missing and it would be perfect. But getting rid of the hangover was good enough, at least for now.Our new friend from England was soon joining us. We had planned to go to the Italian restaurant, but we got stuck at
Prince of Wales for a few hours and we didn't left until they had run out of Tiger beers. We were tipsy when we left Prince of Wales for the Italian restaurant.There were 4 Japanese waiting for a table and then the Waiter looked at us. I could see that he wanted us to choose another restaurant.
- Do you want to sit outside
- No we want AC
We got a table where no one could see us. We asked for a few beers
and I could see that the Waiter regretted that he had let us in.But the more we drank the more
charm we got and after a few beers they were really happy that we had chose to have
our dinner at their restaurantI ordered something that turned out to be pork chops. I didn't know because they had a much fancier name for it in the menu. But it was very good, actually the best pork chops I have ever had. And I had spaghetti to go with it.
Mozzarella as a starter and of course, plenty beer.We left the Italian restaurant and walked towards Prince of Wales and we passed a place with music and we stopped. There were 4 girls sitting outside with a guy. We took the table next to them, there were only 2 tables outside. We were soon having beers on the table.
Turned out that the guy on the table next to us was the owner and the 4 girls came from China and they were here on a job interview. It
looked more like they were getting drunk.The owner came over and it turned out that he was born in Bangkok but he was from Hong Kong and he had been living in Texas.
- Texas? Are you sure? I asked
- Yes
- Then you know Ted Nugent
If you’re from Texas you know Ted Nugent and he told me he knew Ted Nugent and he put on Ted Nugent on the stereo. Not the Stranglehold as I wanted, but Cat Scratch Fever. Cat Scratch Fever is very good, but Motörhead made a better version of Ted Nugent's song. But never mind, we had Ted blasting high on the entertainment center.
When we left the place we were more drunk than tipsy. I told them that I was going to my hotel to
pick up snus and that I would be back at prince of Wales in 30 minutesI don't know what's going on, Boat Quay empty. Boat Quay use to be crowded, today it is empty and taxi was no problem. There was a taxi waiting and I was at my hotel in 3 minutes and I brought 2 cans of snus and I was back at Prince of Wales after 20 minutes. And the spirit was high at Prince of Wales.
The Cook was going to drink 10 shots, I don't know why. I think it was something about soccer.
They had filled the bar with shots and it was more than 10. Impossible for him to drink all those. We
were waiting for him to drink the shots but then we got 1 shoot each and there was a guy starting to speak.The spirit was very high but as soon as they guy started to speak the girls started to cry and it was like they had put a damp cloth over the place.
It was something about someone that I died. A speech he could have performed at another time. After the speech there was no sign of the high spirit and I took a taxi to Duxton Hills. The Tapas
I use to go to was closed and I continued to Club Street. They recognised me at Ying & Yang and I was soon having a San Miguel Light in front of me.I heard music when I left Ying & Yang and turned out that there was a Jazz Club in the basement with a live
band and I went to check it out. We had a very good time and the music was good so I stayed until they closed.I went to a few more places at Club Street before returning to the Chinese disco at Clarke Quay. And the first bouncer just waved me in and when I came in the first bouncer snapped his fingers and gave me the index finger followed by the thumbs up. They are obviously recognising me from yesterday. And I must have been well behaved because they were all smiling.
I had a few Tiger beers while checking out the Chinese live band on the scene, same as yesterday. I was back home at 5 o'clock and I was not looking forward to waking up tomorrow, or as it is , later on today with a raging hangover.
+++++++++++++++
Sunday 7 th
of April 2013
and no more visa runs for me. I woke up at 13:57 and right there and then I decided never to go on any visa runs again. Well, I can take a tour with Jack Golf, boring like hell but I'm not about throwing up in the shower as I did today. No more beer for me, well, maybe next weekend. Songkran, but then it will be no more.I went down to 7 Eleven to buy some choco milk and I stopped for egg and bacon at the restaurant. I didn't finish my egg and bacon, it wasn't really any good and I was soon back in my room wishing for the day to come to an end so I can get back home.
And how the foock did I end up like a train wreck? Spending almost 100,000 Baht for something that was supposed to be a nice
weekend abroad and I feel more like I want to jump in front of a bus when the weekend has come to an end. What the foock happened?Almost throwing up in the shower and I wasn't in the mood to go to Boat Quay to meet the American girl, but she wanted to try Tony Romas. Yes, fat chanceI will pop down to 7 Eleven to buy a can of tuna. Yet another reason for me to stay home from now on. My diet have really gone south during the weekend.
And the e-cigarette, I wish I had brought my e-cigarette with me. I'm back to the Marlboro Lights and I can wait until I come back home to fire up my e-cigarette.
Novotel Clarke Quay
Novotel Clarke Quay
Novotel Clarke Quay
I walked down to Boat Quay to meet the American girl and I walked pass Prince of Wales, I didn't feel like going inside. I could not see her so I just continued down the Boat Quay. Good, maybe I can dodge the whole Tony Romas thing. I walked to the end of Boat Quay and then I walked past Prince of Wales again. No sign of the American girl and I walked back home.
I was almost back at the hotel when I decided to take a taxi to People’s Park and walk back from there. I was really feeling like shit and I decided to go to sleep. But first I stopped for a few lamb chops at a restaurant close to the hotel.
Novotel Clarke Quay
Clarke Quay
Clarke Quay
Clarke Quay
+++++++++++++++
Monday 8 th
of April 2013
and finally time to go back home to my e-cigarette and tuna. My toe is still black and I'm still suffering from a severe hangover so no Bangkok Fight Club tonight, but I might give Bangkok Fight Club tomorrow night. I called room service and I got the breakfast to my room. I really didn't feel like going down to the restaurant risking to run in to any of the early morning staff. I have been returning 5 to 6 o'clock Saturday and Sunday morning and I had been asking for tea and snacks. So I'm better off staying clear of the restaurant.I finished my breakfast and I checked out from my room at 12 o'clock and I had checked in and passed the immigration at 12 thirty. And Thai Airways flight TG 414 is not leaving until 15:55.
Darn, I should have checked my ticket. I was under the impression that we were going to leave around 2 o'clock. What to do? I went to Thai Airways lounge and I had a few sandwiches and a glass of water before
I felt asleep in the lounge.I felt like I was going to die when I woke up. I went to buy a blood pressure monitor and a blood analyser. I got a blood pressure monitor and I asked for a blood analyzer for cholesterol and glucose.
They had a machine, but I needed different stripes for each test so I never bought the analyser. I paid 190 Dollars for the blood pressure monitor, 140 for the machine and 50 dollars for a big size
cuff that I could use. The one included was for children's over arms.Well, anyway, 190 Dollars and now I can measure my way to my death. For sure
feels like I'm about to die. No more beer for me for the rest of my life. I can't take this anymore.And isn't it strange, arriving at the same airport last Friday and I turned cartwheels from the gate to the taxi. Now I'm limping towards gate D34 and TG 414. And they are crazy with their “Rating machines” here in Singapore. Friday and EXCELLENT wasn't enough and
today it is worse than VERY POOR.I will for sure come back to Singapore, but this was my last VISA RUN to Singapore. And it was also the last time I came to Singapore for drinking.
Yes, Friday and Saturday was very very
fun, but Sunday, it is not worth it any more. 2 days of fun and 2 days of expecting to die any second. Enough is enough, I give up, I'm too old.I had to wait for about 10 minutes before it was time to board the flight and I was not sad when we left Singapore behind. About 2 hours to Bangkok and I expect to be back home around 6 o'clock. They served dinner and my hangover was a wee bit better after the meal. I had a cake from the cake cart with a cup of tea before I tried to sleep. But we were soon descending to Suvarnabhumi, Bangkok International .
YIPPEE!! Soon home again.
Leaving Singapore behind
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