OK, it has come to my knowledge that we have senior citizens visiting my web page. How hard can it
be? So it's not very easy for them to see the blue coloured links to the next page. Jiffy (also jiff)
noun [in SING.] informal a moment: we'll be back in a jiffy.
ORIGIN late 18th cent.: of unknown origin.
So as you understand, in a jiff pretty much depends on your internet.
Marunong ka mag-tagalog? Walang problema! Magpunta sa kabilang pahina pindutin ang “NEXT” button sa itaas
Faites vous parlez le français? Pour arriver à la page suivante faites s'il vous plaît un déclic le bouton “Next” ci-dessus!
Haga usted dice el español? Ver la siguiente página sólo hacer clic el botón “Next” encima!
Farla parla l'italiano? Per vedere la prossima pagina lo scatto per favore giusto Il bottone “Next” sopra
Sprechen sie Deutsch! Kein problem! Wenn Sie die folgende Seite sehen wollen gerade klicken der Knopf “Next” oben!
คุณพูดภาษาไทยได้ไหม ไม่มีปัญหา ถ้าคุณต้องการไปหน้าถัดไป ให้กดปุ่ม “Next”
ข้างบนนี้
Вы говорите по-русски? NJET PROBLEMA! Просто нажмите синюю кнопку "Next" с левой стороны и Вы моментально переместитесь на следующую страницу!
E ni Svenskar och inte förstår Engelska så ska ni skämmas. J och Björn, med det menar jag inte att alla mina stavfel ska ältas varje gång vi träffas.
Well, the flag of Skåne, just a BONUS flag.
Sunday 1 st
of May 2011
and yet again I'm sitting in front of my computer and it is 2 o'clock in
the morning. I should have been in bed a long time ago. But I still have some drivel to put
on my web page. Is the same every time I'm ashore. I'm losing time and on top of that I have new pictures to upload. Luckily enough I got an hour of sleep when we came back from Lakeside
shopping mall yesterday. But now I'm off to my bed.
I was called for at 7 thirty and I looked out my window to discover sunshine. Good, nice weather is welcome. I had my shower and then I opened my door to check out if our 2nd Officer had put his empty Easter egg outside my cabin door.
I need something to put my hazelnuts in and our 2nd Officer told me that he would put his egg outside my cabin.
And I have another Easter egg to think about as well. Coming on the bridge and I did my Easter egg routines while waiting for my tea to be ready. It was blowing force 5 from NE when I came on my watch and it looked cold outside even though the sun was shining. But according to the forecast the wind were going to decrease.
Well, a force 5 is nothing so I can't complain, especially on route to
Mongstad, Norway. Then this is considered as gorgeous weather.
Our guy from C-Survey were busy with our fixed gas detector on
the bridge. We tested the equipment yesterday and today we're going to calibrate it.
We finished our gas detection system and it was soon time for lunch. I called my 1 o'clock punch bag training partner 20 minutes before 12. We are going to have an SMS meeting at 1 so we will have to get on with the punch bag at 12. Good, no time for lunch.
So we had to do our exercise after 12 o'clock and we finished in time for the meeting at 1 o'clock.
Lo and behold, I felt asleep after the meeting and I woke up when 2nd Officer on the 12 to 4 watch knocked on my door 5 past 4. Time for my second session with the punch bag for today.
morning. The wind had picked up during yesterday evening, but today it was back to almost nothing. Force 3 to 4 from South.
I was checking the ODME with the guy from C Survey after my watch so we were 15 minutes late with our punch bag session. And it is getting colder by the hour, we are moving North and it was around 8 °C. In the sunshine it was 17°C but the punch bag is in the shadow so we had to work ourselves warm. And I felt a sleep after our
session with the punch bag and we were moored when I woke up again.
But the cargo arm was not connected so obviously we had not been moored for many minutes when I woke up and looked out my window.
I also discovered e-mail from STROH Rum in Austria, and a e-mail from the
Danish importer. Yes, STROH Rum's marketing provides a very good service and now I know where to find STROH Rum when we're at the shipyard in Odense.
Good news indeed and I was in a good mood. I still had a few hours to kill before I had to go kick arse on the bridge. Loading had started at 18 thirty and we expect to be ready tomorrow morning. We have 36 hours
to Hamburg so I will have time to prepare Slop Tank Stb for the ship yard.
I have 16m³ of Gas Oil in the tank and I will transfer the Gas Oil to Port side tomorrow. The Gas Oil has
hopefully dissolved the old sludge in the tank so we can have a clean and gas free tank at arrival to the ship yard in June.
Tuesday 3 rd
of May 2011
and it was a glorious morning. I have never seen Mongstad like this before. Well, we completed loading 5 minutes past 8 o'clock and the Surveyor was
onboard after 10 minutes. So I had to enjoy my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® and morning tea while the Surveyor did his paper work.
And thinking of it, my tuna surprise is more like an
onion surprise. The onion comes in the size of a football and there isn't much space for anything else on the plate. But onion is supposed to be very healthy so I want to have 2 per day, never mind the size.
Pilot was ordered for 10 thirty so our AB had time to prepare for the tank cleaning. I had the AB on my watch to prepare all the equipment yesterday evening and now it was time to set it up.
I was enjoying my tea and the weather when they called from Broström, they are working on a
Mongstad to Bremen voyage for us and they needed some figures. She told me that it
was snowing in Go:teborg, on the 3rd of May!!
It was a busy morning, I had a lot of tea to drink so I almost forgot my Easter egg.
Yes, that's how fun I think it is. And we will see for how long the egg will last. It is not only me drooling over the darn Easter egg. But I know that I will suffer from severe agony if I open the darn thing so I will let it be. 
We left Mongstad at 10:40, 10 minutes after that the Pilot had come onboard. It is about one
hour with the Pilot and then we're all by lonesome again. Nice, as soon as the Pilot is off I will start cleaning Stb Slop tank. As soon as the Pilot was off we transferred the content to slop tank port and then we started to wash the tank.
I looked down the tank and it looked like new. By now it was 5 past 1 o'clock and I should have been at the punch bag. We started the forced ventilation
and I went to my cabin to change for the punch bag session.
I had expected to find the 2nd Officer practicing to skip rope at the punch bag, but there were no sign of him at the punch bag.Hmm, I thought he was serious with his exercise and he need to
practice his skills with the skipping rope. Well, he was nowhere to be found and
I had to call the bridge.
- Have you seen Killer?
- Yes, he is sitting here
- What the
? Send him down!
- He is on his way!
I made a set of sit ups before going on deck and when I came on deck I discovered that it
was very cold in the shadow. In the sunshine it was OK, but at the punch bag there is now sun. So I had to go back to my cabin to get my winter cap.
So we didn't hang around the punch bag longer than
necessary. And of course, I had slop tank stb to think off when we had finished the punch bag session.
But we did all the exercises before we finished the session. Cold or not, looking good is important so a little freezing is something we have to take.
As I said to 2nd officer:
- You have to feel pain!
As soon as we finished I went on deck to check out our slop tank, now the forced ventilation had been running for an hour so it should be OK to enter the tank for inspection.
Our slop tank looked like it was new and I were soon back in my cabin, and I felt a sleep and I
didn't woke up until 6 o'clock. Good, I overslept the dinner. Calories that I will never have to eat.
But I prepared my dinner, and “ MEAT BALL & ONION SURPRISE ” ® that I will have on the bridge tonight. And I prepared my breakfast / lunch for tomorrow, an original “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ®.
And I will have a pot or two of tea to chase down this delicatessen.
I was way too busy
this morning for my push ups and squat down exercises, but yesterday evening I did them and now I'm up
to 20 squat downs every 30 minutes. And I will continue on this path tonight, and who knows? Maybe I will be able to increase my push ups
from 10 to 20 per set? Well, I'm happy if I can manage to make 10 every 30 minutes.
Well, turned out that I had to wait with my exercises until tomorrow. I didn't feel so very good in the evening. I was in a bad mood and my clothes felt way too small. Yes, I finished all my hazelnuts in one pop and, well, I didn't feel like doing any squat downs or push ups during my watch.
I did one set and then the AB on my watch brought a diet drink and I spent the rest of the watch sitting down scratching my behind.
So it was very nice when I could return to my cabin at midnight because I'm in a hurry to start a new healthy day tomorrow.
watch. Gorgeous weather and most of my morning tiredness disappeared. I did my Easter egg routines while waiting for my tea and then it was just to sit down keeping 150° towards Elbe Pilot. ETA 22:00 so that means that I managed to dodge most of the Pilot time up River Elbe to Hamburg. We will have 6 to 8 hours from Elbe Pilot station to Hamburg so we will most likely be alongside when I wake up tomorrow morning. NICE!
We will get a new 2nd Officer and Captain in Hamburg so it looks that I will be down to single sessions with the punch bag until the 2nd Officer comes back in 4 weeks.
Good weather and I had received an e-mail from the Danish importer of STROH Rum. So now I
have a list of shops selling STROH Rum in Odense.
So I played Austrian music on the bridge and. Well, I don't know, but there might have been the Austrian feeling on the bridge this morning. For sure, there were something, but it might just have been my good mood.
The time turned pretty quick and it was soon time to go on my watch below. We have our boxing session at 1 o'clock. But first salad for lunch and I have to do some
As the state of Austria–Hungary had no access to colonies in tropical regions, rum producers originally tried to replace the sugarcane molasses aroma by a mixture of flavourants and dyes added to a diluted ethanol basis, referred to as Inländer-Rum ("domestic rum"), a substitute that over the years became a speciality. Today Austrian rum is made from sugarcane by-products according to European Community regulations, while the typical Inländer flavour is provided by traditional essences. The production is standardised by chapter B23 of the Codex Alimentarius Austriacus.
The rum is available in four variants, Stroh 40, Stroh 54, Stroh 60 and Stroh 80. The number represents the Volume percent of the Alcohol by volume, in other words, 80, 108, 120 and 160 proof (US) respectively.
laundry. We have our laundry room next to the mess room, well, almost
next to the mess room.
Just a few meters away so it is pretty convenient.
2 plates of salad topped with some chicken curry with plenty sweet pepper. Yes, plenty antioxidants so I don't need to worry about being sick.
I wasn't hungry, but I need some salad and it is nice to socialising a bit
after my watch. I have my black bread and “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® with my tea on the bridge. And the black bread keeps me full for hours. What a difference from the toast, you are hungry after 15 minutes after a few toasts.
I went to my cabin after the lunch and I had time for a few words on
my web page before it was time to get down on the floor for a set of 20 sit ups. Standard routine before our punch bag session.
I got dressed for winter even though it looked warm outside. And I don't know if it was the
weather or if it were us working ourselves warm, but after the 300 punched I had to take off my winter cap.
We finished our session and I went to check out my
laundry and while waiting for the dryer to be ready I had a few words on my web page. DARN! I felt asleep and I didn't wake up until 5 thirty in the afternoon.
We got details for our next voyage, Mongstad to Bremen. Minimum 11000MT of CPP (Clean Petroleum Product) But we will get loading instructions within a few days so I can do the planning for the cargo and prepare my paper work. One step ahead as I use to say.
I ran in to our 2nd Officer on the 12 to 4 watch when I opened my door after my shower. I was
going down to get my laundry.
- No boxing today?
I had expected him to call me 10 minutes before 4 o'clock.
- I didn't dare calling you!
Well, anyway, he told me that we would drop anchor at arrival to Elbe Pilot station.
- For how long?
- We're going to be in Hamburg tomorrow night.
- I don't mind waiting!
I went to the kitchen to prepare my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for tonight and for tomorrow breakfast/ lunch before going to the bridge.
We dropped our anchor at 21:50 and I spent the rest of my watch reading Bangkok Post scratching my behind. And we will see if we're going inside tomorrow. It would be nice to get alongside Oiltanking in Hamburg at 9 o'clock tomorrow evening.
Scratching my behind on the anchorage is OK, but kicking arse alongside is better.
morning watch. Sun was shining and no wind at all. Latest news is
I got an instant reply:
Hej Jacob
Her er lige et par stykker .
SuperBest Læsøgade 16 9903 Frederikshavn
Damsgaard Havnegade 16 9900 Frederikshavn
(Translation from Danish to English: Here are some of the places selling STROH Rum)
I was puzzled. Just a few weeks ago I got an e-mail that it was impossible to get STROH Rum in Fredrikshamn, Denmark.
Undersøker i øvermorgon Strohromslæget i Danmark! Ær det något annat du vill ha från Danmark?
(Translation from Swedish to English: I will check out if they have STROH Rum in Fredrikshamn the day after tomorrow. Do you need anything else from Denmark?)
Then next e-mail:
Går iland idag med hemresa imorgon med Ballong. Strohrom som jag kommer ihåg det fanns i Danmark!
(Translation from Swedish to English: I will buy the STROH Rum in Fredrikshamn tomorrow)
And it goes on, 09 Jan 2011 17:50:
Nu har jag kommit hem... Strohromsagenten kommer på tisdag.
(Translation from Swedish to English: I'm back home from Denmark. My STROH Rum Agent is coming on Tuesday. Meaning: I'm f@cking sitting in my sofa with half open mouth and empty eyes)
And it goes on, Sun 09 Jan 2011 23:09:
Agenten på tisdag blir spännande, import från Tyskland blir lösningen då jag inte fann en ml i Danmark.
(Translation from Swedish to English: It will be exciting with the Agent coming on Tuesday, import from Germany will be the solution when I couldn't find a ml in Denmark)
And it goes on, Wed 19 Jan 2011:
Stroh: Systemet förde märket men drog in det för det sålde för dåligt. Försökte beställa av en privatimportör men det var 2-4 veckors leveranstid då de skulle beställas även i Tyskland. Undersöker nu möjligheterna för att återvända till Fredrikshamn och slå till personligen på plats. Verkar som de har tappat marknadsandelar och är inte lika lättåtkomliga (stora) idag...
(Translation from Swedish to English: What a shit load of crap, I had expected more from a guy with a lifelong experience from lying and coming up with bullshit stories. Now “HE” is considering to go to Fredrikshamn in person to buy the STROH Rum, well didn't he send a e-mail a few days ago that he would check it out in person. And then he wrote that “HE” wasn't able to find STROH Rum in Denmark )
Do you think it stops there? No, Wed 19 Jan 2011:
Trodde att denna vara fanns i lager och lättåtkomlig som förr!
(Translation from Swedish to English: What a shit load of crap! I thought they had it in store and that it was as easy to get as back in the day. Fer f@cks sake! From a guy that had never bought any STROH Rum )
And the prize winner, I confront him about his previous STROH Rum purchases and the shit load of crap he is coming up with, Thu 20 Jan 2011 02:26
Ta det lugnt! Allt är under kontroll! Jag köpte Stroh när jag var 16-18 år för den var den billigaste och effektivaste fyllan på skidresor. När man blev äldre och visare så kom man på att det fanns andra sorter som kanske var lite bättre! Det är därför jag känner till det här brännvinet, kanske det var när mellanölet försvann från Sverige...
(Translation from Swedish to English: Take it easy! Everything under control. I bought STROH when I was 16 to 18 years old because it was the cheapest and MOST EFFECTIVE to drink during my skiing holidays. What the F@CK!!?? Ordering STROH Rum in Sweden to bring on the skiing vacation in Austria where the STROH Rum is for free! )
that we will get our Pilot at 2 o'clock in the afternoon in order to be in Hamburg at 21:00.
I spent my watch eating “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® drinking tea and reading Bangkok Post. Of course, I did my exercises, but I forgot it until 10 o'clock so I never did as many as I had wanted to. But there is a day tomorrow as well. I doubt that there will be much exercising tonight, arrival around
9 and it will look strange if I do push
ups and squat downs while doing paper work with the Loading Master.
Time turned pretty quick and I was soon relieved by our 2nd Officer on the 12 to 4 watch.
I thought that I was going crazy when I returned to my cabin. I heard bird twitter and I thought what the? I looked around and I saw something moving
behind my plant in the window. A bird! How thedid the bird manage to get in to my cabin?
I grabbed him in my hanky, you really don't want to touch a bird! Never know what kind of stuff they are carrying around. But then again, people are afraid of touching birds and stuff and at the same time they are smoking
like
there is no tomorrow. Well, maybe there is
a slim chance to experience tomorrow if you're a smoker. Or if you walk around touching birds, what do I know?
Well, anyway, I brought him on deck and he didn't want to get of my hanky so I had to shake it a wee bit in order to get the bird down on deck. Looked like he was sick so I was glad that I never touched the bird. Or maybe he was exhausted, never mind, I washed my hands before giving him some of my black bread and some water.
All for nothing, next time I checked on him (5 minutes later) he was dead on deck.
. I don't know if it was due to the death of the bird or due to hard work, but I was tired and I went to bed at 2 thirty.
I don't know if I managed to fall asleep, but I know that our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch knocked on my door at 3. We had cancelled the 1 o'clock punching bag session. We didn't feel like punching a bag and the deck was a wee bit wet and slippery. So we decided to do it at 3 o'clock.
Our Pilot came onboard at 14:50 and I noticed that we didn't make full speed when we were on deck punching the bag. Well M/T Willy, the ship at our jetty was delayed so we had to go slow speed in order to be at the harbour pilot at 22:00 instead of 21:00.
When we came to the jetty our on signing 2nd Officer was waiting on the jetty and he was onboard at 23:30 when the shore gangway was down on deck. Our on signing Captain was onboard 10 minutes later. Well, it was almost midnight and I was off to my bed in my cabin.
Friday 6 th
of May 2011
and I came up to a glorious day. We were discharging and we expect to be ready around 15 thirty. That was the only black cloud on an otherwise blue sky, I will have to spend 4 hours with the Pilot tonight. 
I was drinking tea eating my black bread with ham ( No “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® today) while talking with our off and on signing Captains. The off signing 2nd officer and Captain will leave
for the airport at 11 o'clock. And of course, it didn't
took long for our on signing Captain to discover my Easter egg.
- What is this?
I could see that he was just about to rip it open.
- EH EH EH!!
Time turned quick and it was soon time for lunch. When Captain left the table I offered our 2nd Officer some of the toffee from Easter. He is on a diet with me but as
soon as he saw the toffee he lost his straight face he had put on when I mentioned the toffee.
I told him that it was OK with one. He was smiling and jumping up and down in his chair. He was just about to take 1 when I brought out my camera and he dashed off screaming: “TAKE AWAY YOUR CAMERA!”
I was tired after my watch so I asked our 2nd Officer if he wanted to punch the bag at 1 or 3 o'clock.
- What do you want? He asked.
- Never mind, up to you
- 3 o'clock is better, he said
- OK, wake me up before 3, I said and I went to bed.
He knocked on my door 5 minutes before 3 and I must have been in some kind of coma. I was
drowsy with sleep and this was the worst punch bag session since I came onboard. DARN!
He asked if I wanted to change back to our 1 o'clock routines.
- Maybe better if you want to sleep?
I asked him to call me 20 minutes before 3 o'clock instead. If I get 15 minutes in a hot shower before the punch bag session it will be OK.Hopefully. Well, anyway, I returned to bed when we were finished with the punch bag and I felt asleep and I didn't woke up until almost 7. By then we were on our way down River Elbe and we changed Pilot in Brunsbüttel around 9 o'clock. 
I passed our 2nd Officer's cabin on the way back to the bridge after changing the Pilot in Brunsbüttel and I caught him writing SMS with my SPY CAM. He spotted me in the door way and
he was quick to grab a paper.
- Oh! Is it you? I'm busy with important paper work!
- My arse!
- I'm very busy!
- I thought you were practicing skipping rope, I said.
It was a beautiful evening on River Elbe and I was enjoying my tea while talking to the Pilot. He was from former East Germany and it is strange how most of the people from Eastern Germany defend the shitty country.
- I had a good life there!
He explained that he was feed up with people that never lived there complained. They don't know, they only read propaganda. It went on like this and he was, well, not aggressive about it. But he was really upset every time I said something bad about East Germany. Well, that was until he found out that I had spent plenty time in the country. Hell, I was even picked up by 3 or 4 police cars
in Rostock.
And there was a remarkable change when he found out that I had been in East Germany.
- Yeah, it is much better now!
- Of course it is, I said.
We had the tide with us and we were hauling arse, 18 knots and we expected to leave the Pilot at
Elbe around 23:00. Good, quicker than expected.
- For me, not for you. I can get off earlier but for you it's never mind, our Pilot said.
I explained that it was nice to get the Pilot off the ship and that I would be alone.
- Why?
He could not understand. It was SO EXCITING on River Elbe with all the traffic. Well, I never tried to explain. We left the Pilot 10 minutes past 23 and I was soon off my watch.
I have had some pain in my right shoulder the last week or two, can hardly move my arm. So I never expected to do any push upsduring my watch. I started my watch with 2 pain killers and
I was soon on the floor doing push ups. Yes, the wonder of pain killers.
I was in the middle of my first set of squat downs when Captain came on the bridge.
- What the
I don't know if he was surprised or chocked to see The 2-Ton Superman in the middle of his exercises.
Well, this was my only set of exercises this morning, 1 set push up and 1 set of squat downs. It was time to get started with the bottom flush
of the cargo tanks.
I was sitting in front of the computer when I heard a fighter jet and a big
bang. What thewas that??!!
I looked around and I spotted the biggest Hornet I had ever seen in the window. Motherf@cker! I just had to take a picture of the beast. Look at it next to our HEAVY DUTY window wipers. The legs are at least 5 cm long and the whole thing must have been close to 10 cm. This is not something that sting, this guy is eating you alive and I realised that I was better off keeping a low profile while he was around.
I have decided to take 2 days off from the boxing. Our 2nd officer on the 4 to 8 watch was
disappointed, but I need to get better in my right shoulder. But as I told him: When I came onboard I did my exercises all by lonesome
Our on signing 2nd Officer on the 12 to 4 watch asked me if I still did my PUNCH BAG exercises.
- Why? Do I look good?
Well, turned out that he wanted to join. Good, I can be back on my TWO sessions per day routines starting on Monday.Hopefully my shoulder feels better by then. Or I have to do my Bangkok Fight Club routine, pop 2 pain killers before the session start.
I was late for lunch due to the bottom flush and our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch came on the bridge for a cup of tea just before I left for lunch. He brought his cup to the mess room and he
kept me company while I had my salad and pannbiff.
When we finished our lunch we went on deck to check out our crane wire and the hook arrangement.
We have a new wire onboard (Since 1 year!) and it is about time that this wire gets on the crane.
Life of a wire is 5 years, at least the certificate expires after 5 years. Let's say that the wire cost 10000 US. I'm not sure about the
price, but let's use 10 000 US so we have some
figures to PLAY with. That's 2000 US per year and this wire had already cost the company 2000 US for laying unused deck.
But God help me if I have an extra apple Saturday night!
Well, anyway, I had my best guys on the job and the hardest part is to remove the hook and the weight, 6 years of rust and it is not east to remove the bolts keeping it together.
I was not surprised to discover that my best guys had managed to get the hook of the wire when I went on deck at 7. So they will change the wire tomorrow and I was in a pretty good mood when I went to prepare my Good Morning “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® for tomorrow morning.
So I returned to my cabin with a plate of “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® and a recommendation
for the company. Order a stainless steel shackle for the crane and we won't have this problem next time.
We, WE??!! Who do I try to f@ck? The guys would have had been finished with the wire today if it wasn't for the rusty shackle.
Coming on my watch and we had to arrange a Easter egg
first thing. I forgot all about the darn Easter egg as I was busy in the morning.
And when we were finished with the picture with a stormy North Sea in the back, yes, it was blowing a force 7
from East. OK, so it was not exactly stormy, but it was not any nice summer weather.
Well, anyway, when we were finished with the picture our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch checked up boxing clubs in Stockholm. He decided to try out the STOCKHOLM MUAY THAI club when he came back home. And this will set him back by 2200 Swedish Scooby dollars per year. That's twice as much as I pay per month at Bangkok Fight Club PER MONTH!!
Same with the 2nd Officer that left us in Hamburg, he joined a club in Malmö and it was free comparing to what I pay in Bangkok. Well, maybe the quality is better in Bangkok, but I doubt it.
o'clock in the morning. The guys were busy changing the crane wire on deck.
We kept 004°(t) towards Fedje pilot station and we have an ETA at 13:30. Laycan is not until 9th of May so we're only going slow speed and we will drop our anchor when we arrive.
We had some wind yesterday evening, but we have been very lucky with the weather the last two times going to Mongstad and I reallyhope that we will have nice weather on our way to Bremen.
We were anchored when I came on my evening watch. It was so hot on the bridge that I thought they had the heating on, but the heating is off so the summer is here. And that's even though we can see the snow in the mountains. 
As I have my Easter egg to think off I asked the 2nd Officer to take a picture of me and the egg with the snowy mountains in the back.
Well, nothing good came out of that and I had to get my own “SNOWY MOUNTAIN” pictures.
It was a beautiful evening and we had a gorgeous sunset over the ocean. And it was 10 o'clock in the evening and we had daylight until almost 23:00. 
Our Pilot came onboard 10 minutes before midnight and I was in my cabin when they started to heave up our anchor. Good, we will be loading when I'm coming on watch tomorrow morning. And we willhopefully have discharged our slop by then.
10 minutes before 8.What theBut after a wee bit of arse kickin' the slop discharge was up and running at 8. Darn! It was hot and I had to call the engine
department so they would start our A/C when I came on the bridge. It was hot and
this was early morning so I can imagine how it would have been during the afternoon.
I had an apple after my watch, yes, my new life. After a weekend of both lunch and dinners, on top of that we skipped our punch bag sessions during the weekend. Well, my right
shoulder needed two days of break.
But the lunch and dinners was totally unnecessary. So now it is Monday and a new
KICK ARSE life style so an apple for lunch was more than enough.
I finished my apple and I lay down on bed and I brought out
book.
my Thai Hell, can't remember reading them for at least 2 weeks now so it is about time. A
few minutes in the book I put it aside and I tried to get 25 minutes of power nap before
our punch bag session.
Quarter to 1 I gave up the idea of a powernap and as we were soon to start our punch bag session I never continued with my books. Instead I was jumping out of bed and I threw myself on thefloor starting to do my “pre punch bag session”
sit up routine.
Nice to be back in my old routines, I spent the morning on the bridge doing push upsand squat downs. I was in the middle of my set when 2nd Officer BANGING on my door.
- Where is the fire?
- Time, he said
So I had expected him to be changed and ready, well, he had to change his clothes before we could start. Waste of valuable time. When we finished I went to take an inventory of our oil spill equipment and before returning to my cabin I prepared two “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ®.
- WHAT'S THE F@CKING SURPRISE?
- The tuna under the onion!
My plan is to have a “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® with our 2nd Officer on the bridge at 5 o'clock together with a pot of tea.
The second “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® is for tomorrow morning.
Yes, I really got to get my diet back on track after the weekend. I don't understand how I have
Good to know you have new life style now so I will see it is good or not.
So..You can find girlfriend now !
Or handsome first and find and then marry.
In my idea, it doesn't matter if you are fat or not.
If she love you, just love because of you not for and other reason.
Kao jai mai?
Joy has never talked about you. Sorry.
managed to stir up so much expectations. I received an e-mail this very morning.
One thing is for sure, it would be a major embarrassment
to return home to FUNKY TOWN as Porky “The human balloon”
I checked my weight this morning, I weight more now than when I'n joined the ship back in March. Well, a few days ago it was an ALL TIME LOW and today I'm back on a cubic ton. I don't understand the scale and I realise that it 
was a waste of space in my suitcase bringing it here from FUNKY TOWN.
And strange, after a few days with my “Best looking guy in town '11” diet the girls start talking about “finding a girlfriend” and “getting married”. And of course the compulsory “Never mind how you look, it is the inside that counts” bullshit.
And it is always when I have lost a bit, I never hear stuff like “finding a girlfriend” and “getting married” when I'm looking like 500 kg anti aircraft balloon.Hmm, strange, isn't it?
It is just to realise that I will be forever single. I'm born repulsive and that's bad luck, but Ihave to face it. I could have been born with a fatal disease, or I could have been born with only one arm or leg. So I'm quite lucky, well, it could have been worse and I will have to learn how to live with it. But I feel like a million and this is thanks to my new lifestyle.
I got reactions on my Easter egg picture via e-mail
yesterday. And that shows that people are engaged in my diet. And well, as I said, a failure would be embarrassing. And who knows? If I'm successful with my “Best looking guy in town '11”
diet Miss Joy
might
start talking about me.But I don't hold my breath.
I went to my bed to continue with my school books at 3 o'clock in order to be ready for the 4 o'clock punch bag session. Well, our 2nd Officer was busy with voyage planning and we had to cancel.
Darn! And I felt a sleep, but I managed
to finish my Thai books before falling asleep.
Luckily enough I didn't sleep for very
long and I woke up after an hour. Just in time for a long and hot shower, 45 to 50°C, to make sure I woke up.
Yes, I had prepared my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for dinner so I brought one
of my plates and I went to make tea on the bridge where I would have my dinner and thus dodging the mess room. I have my dinner ration of black bread on the bridge, I brought a pack this morning and I had half for breakfast/ lunch. (Between my push ups and squat downs)
The first thing I discover is that one of my 4 slices is missing.
- What the
- I tried one slice, 2nd Officer on watch said.
I had my tea and when I was finished I returned to my web page in my cabin. I passed Captain's cabin and before I left I was in a bet with him. 350 US
every time he saw me eating in the mess room,
except Sundays. Yes, good to be back on track again and I can see myself with a V-shaped torso.
I had time for some drivel on my web page before it was time to go and relieve our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch. I don't know, maybe it is the success with my “Best looking guy in town '11” diet that have inspired our 2nd Officer.
Not only is he boxing, he is also doing push ups like there is no tomorrow. And he does push ups with clap.
- Pompous ass!!
Well, I willhopefully soon be able to do some push ups with clap. But I'm pretty satisfied with all my push ups per day. It was not that long ago when I
couldn't manage to make 1 push up.
I enjoyed my tea and it looked like the loading would be ready around midnight, or 23 thirty at best. It was a beautiful evening, the sea looked like a mirror and I was in an excellent mood. Healthy living all day long and I really felt good.
So I wasn't bothered with the
black clouds that had been on the sky since the afternoon.
When the AB took down the flags there was a slight drizzle, but otherwise we hadn't had any rain. And it would actually be good with some rain to get some of the salt of the ship.
Well, at 10 o'clock they called me from Statoil control in Mongstad. They were not able to give us our nomination and they expected us to get about 12400 MT only. They were emptying a tank and then their gas oil was finished.
We completed loading at 23:15 and at midnight I had completed my paper work with the Surveyor.
I read some Thai before going on deck for our punch bag session. I stepped up on my scale before going on deck and today it was ERROR, meaning that I was out of scale. What theis this? I'm not eating and I'm gaining weight by the day.
We had a DISTRESS RADIO drill after our punch bag session and when we were ready I went to
bed to continue with my Thai book. Well, I felt asleep and I woke up 10 minutes past time. In the nick of time for my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® and tea on the bridge. I was a wee bit late so our 2nd Officer had finished his dinner when I came on the bridge.
- He didn't dare knocking on your door, he said when I stepped up on the bridge.
- What??!!
- 2nd officer on the 12 to 4 watch wanted to train boxing at 4 o'clock.
Well, the wind was gone and the sun was shining so I really enjoyed my dinner on the bridge.
We had got a new voyage during the afternoon, Kalundborg to Glasgow and they wanted us to
calculate for 3 grades of diesel from Pembroke to Belfast. So it looks like we will be busy the next week or two. Good, no time to sit down relax
I had time for some drivel on my web page before it was time to go on my watch. I came up on the bridge quarter to 8 and our 2nd Officer was busy checking our compass error against the sun.
- What the? Are you using the computer?
- Yes, how are you doing it?
- Old school!
- Can you show me how to do it?
- You don't know how to do it??!! And you're a member in the Master
Mariners Guild! What are you doing at your banquets? Drinking
and slapping each others backs telling each other sailor's yarns.
I told him to bring the books we needed, the nautical almanac and the sight reduction table.
Of course, we could not find the sight reduction table we needed. We only had the sight reduction table for selected stars. But we managed to calculate GHA and LHA with the nautical almanac.
All this without the help fromcomputers or calculators. 2011 and who the f@ck use old tables? Well, not necessary, of course, the computer does the work for you. But you would be surprised how much people there is having no clue what they are doing, just enter a few figures in the computer.
Our 2nd Officer was happy to do it the old school way, it took him 1 minute to get the
hang of it and now he understands the difference between GHA and LHA. And when someone is asking him what he is doing he will be able to answer.
Only tables for selected stars and as the 2nd Officer was eager to learn he would come back when it was dark so we could check the stars with the sight reduction table for selected stars.
- See you soon, he said when he left
- That's the spirit! You will soon be the proud of
the Master Mariners Guild!
I have a good AB on my watch and it is time for him to leave us. He will sign off in Bremen and when he was ready with the painting on the fo'c's'le I called him on the bridge to hand him his flight details. Well, now I have to see what a guy they send to relieve him.
At 11 o'clock our “Knapp Styrman” was back on the bridge. “Knapp Styrman” is Swedish for a deck Officer just pushing buttons with or wit out any clue what he is doing. But this “Knapp Styrman” was soon turned in to a regular Captain Onedin.
He identified the stars and we found one that we could use from the bridge. The result wasn't very good, the star was in the North and the horizon was still bright from the sun set. And of course, checking the stars is better done from an open bridge wing.
But now he knows how to do it and I got a refresher. And of course, when he was on the bridge time turned quick and it was soon time for me to go to bed.
cross 2 TSS to get to Weser Pilot station.
I enjoyed my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® and a pot of tea while listening to my “Music treasure”, better known as MUSIK SKATTEN.
I always have MUSIK SKATTEN playing on the bridge and the Surveyor in Mongstad kept asking me what songs it was.
- Very good!
He asked if he could copy my music.
- No problem, it will take 2 hours.
- I don't have that much time.
Well, if it isn't the Surveyors it is Pilots and Loading Masters asking about the music. Asking if they can copy it to their USB stick.
- My “Music treasure” won't fit on your USB stick.
- We can select a few songs to copy
- Are you aware of how long time that would take to select a few songs from 12000 tracks?
I tried to do a set of exercises when I came on the watch, but I could not manage. I felt already yesterday evening that this would not work. But to watches relaxing my muscles will do me good. But I still don't know what's wrong with my shoulder. 2 weeks now and no sign of any improvements.
I called German Bight Traffic on Ch 80 when we entered the area 10 minutes before 10 o'clock and 2 hours later I called Weser Pilot on CH 6 to give them 1 hour notice. Well, they told us to hold our horses, the Pilot would not board us until 14:15 so we had to slow down our speed. Well, by then I was out of there.
I went on deck to check our new test date markings on our winches after my watch. Better off checking it before our next vetting, due before the end of this month. So by then we need to have our things in good order. I ran in to one of our ABs working with the winches forward, and luckily enough I had my camera with me.
When I came back in our 2nd Officer had his lunch and he was very quick to finish his meal when I brought out my camera. He dashed off with his plate and when he returned he asked if I wanted him to take a picture of me eating a salad.
He kept me company while I had my salad. OK, it was not like it took very long to finish thesmallest salad I have had in my life. I had time for some sit ups
before it was time for our punch bag session on deck.
And I will think that you will find it easier to understand my disappointment when I step up on the
scale now when you have seen my lunch plate.
Yes, there is not really much on that plate and the salad disappeared like an Aspirin. Well, it was
sunny so it was nice to come out on deck.
5 minutes past 1 o'clock, a few minutes late because we ended up sitting on our arses talking about to good ol' times before I went to do my sit ups in my cabin. But as soon as we were on deck we didn't wasted
any time. We startedby skipping rope and then we started with the punch bag.
Deck is full of salt so it is slippery and our 2nd Officer felt on deck when he did his third set of kicks and he felt on deck. But as I told him:
- Get off your arse, it is boxing not chess!!
When we finished we went to the kitchen to prepare our dinner. We're out of tuna and I hope there will come more with the provision in Bremen. But we made a cheese platter and we will bring a pack of black bread for our afternoon tea on the bridge. I made 2 plates, one for my breakfast/ lunch tomorrow.
We had our afternoon tea quarter past 5. Black bread, cheese and some vegetables.
Very tasty and healthy, and a pot of tea on top of that just made it better. And watching the views while going up River Weser did a lot to make the afternoon tea more enjoyable.
I returned to my cabin for some quality time when I finished my tea. I wrote a few words on my web page and I got a wee bit sleepy.
So I went to lay down on my bed trying to get an
hour of sleep. I failed to fall asleep and I will try to manage without my POWER NAP and I was back at my desk
after 10 minutes. I looked out my window sometimes after 7 and we were entering the lock in Bremen.
So I went on deck, if I'm lucky I can get a few pictures of “In the lock” action. Well, coming on the poop deck and
there wasn't very much action. One AB was sitting on a vent looking out in the blue.
So I went forward and when I came around the corner from the poop deck out on tank deck I ran in to
another AB exercising while waiting for us to be ready toleave the lock. Well, seems like they are exercising as soon as they get a chance.
- That's the spirit!
I went forward to the fo'c's'le to relieve our 2nd Officer.
We were out of the lock 10 minutes past 8 and we had first line ashore at Weser Petrol 30 minutes later. All fast 21:15 and it didn't take long before we had an onslaught of people wanting papers coming onboard.
Well, we managed to send ashore our 3 life rafts
before they started with the cargo arm. We will get 3 new life rafts tomorrow and we will take them onboard when we had disconnected the cargo arm.
We must be ready to leave at 13:00 tomorrow afternoon or we will have to wait until 19:00 for departure. They are doing maintenance work on the lock during the afternoon. Well, if we miss the chance to leave in the afternoon I will have to go ashore waste money again. But I think we will be able to leave before 13:00.
departure one hour later so we will make it to the lock
before 1 o'clock. Good, I don't need to go ashore and waste money.
But I wouldn't mind trying out a new plan I have. So I need to come ashore for some shopping, STROH Rum in pet bottles.
Yes, STROH Original is available in various sizes of its unmistakable flask-bottle. Special traveller sizes are offered also in PET (plastic) bottles.
- IN PET BOTTLES!!??
Yes, I know, but check this out. I will bring back 12 litres
to Bangkok and 12 litres in glass bottles will be a wee bit too much at check in. So I have
ponder over the problem and I came up with the PET BOTTLE plan.
I will buy 3 litre bottles and 9 litres in PET bottleand when I finish one of the glass bottles I will refill it with a funnel. I will save a lot of weight by doing it like this. Of course, I will have to hide the PET bottles so no one will ever
discover them. Who want to have a PET bottle on the table?
OK, my Diet MAX is coming in PET bottles so they are allowed on the table. They are not coming in glass so I really have no choice.
Well, anyway, we completed discharging at 11:25 and our Surveyor came onboard at 11:35 and I meet him on deck when I went to check our draft from the jetty.
And it is spring time and the seagulls are watching their nest so it is really dangerous to go
ashore checking the draft. When you come close to their nest they are flying around you screaming at you. And if you're too close they will attack you, no joke. They are very dangerous.
So what to do if you're under attack? You will most likely not have a broom with you so try to find a branch or something and hold it upright over your head.
Why? The Seagull attack the highest point and you have time to run to safety before the Seagull have chewed their way down to you head. A HOT TIP IN SPRING TIMES!
Our 2nd Officer had been ashore this very morning to by German delicatessen for our evening tea so he went to bed when he came onboard at 12. So our punch bag session was cancelled. Well, I
could have done it by myself, But I felt asleep. I didn't wake up until 10 minutes before 5 o'clock so I went straight to the bridge after the shower for our afternoon tea with German ham and fresh black bread.
I had to run on deck when we had finished our afternoon tea, problem with one of the valves and Chief Officer had to give a few pointers on deck. When we finished I returned to my cabin for a few words on my web page.
We were just about to pick up the Elbe Pilot when I came on my watch at 8 o'clock and we expect around 3 hours to the lock in Brunsbüttel. Good, I can go ashore to see if I can find a few Diet MAX in the kiosk.
They are repairing one of the locks in Brunsbüttel so there is only one lock available and plenty ships. So we had to drop our anchor outside Brunsbüttel. DARN! No chance to go ashore in the lock. We expect to go in to the lock at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning and I will have to spend my watch in the Kiel Canal. Double DARN! I had expected to be in Kiel at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning.
was a beautiful day, but black clouds were approaching so there
might be some rain.
Good for the farmers, they have not had rain for 8 weeks
and it is getting very dry. So rain is needed.
We changed Pilot in Breiholz just after 9 o'clock and the Pilot told me that it was about 3 hours to Holtenau including 2 stops to wait for passing ships on their way to Brunsbüttel.
I called our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch a few minutes before 12 o'clock. He never miss a meal, but I called him to make sure he was in time for the lunch so we could go ashore in the lock.
Yes, I was delirious with anticipation, Diet MAX
. I will soon have one in my hand.
- Yo! We're soon in the lock, are you joining me ashore?
- Yes
- Then get your arse down to the mess room so you can have your lunch before arrival.
- I'm on my way!
I went on deck to see if there was
anything interesting I could
take pictures of while our 2nd Officer finished his lunch.
I went to the fo'c's'le to see if there was anything interesting and I discovered that M/T Margita
was leaving the lock. I was working onboard M/T Margita
back in the 90's and she is still going strong.
And later on in the afternoon when I checked up what year I was working onboard M/T Margita I got achock, it was back in 1995. 16 years ago!! Time is for sure running quick.
We had to wait for 3 ships to get out of the North lock before we could enter the lock as the first ship. First ship, good that means that we will be close to the kiosk so I can buy my Diet MAX and chocolate for the Captain. He asked for ice cream as well. I told him that we had our freezer full of ice cream. Well, he wanted a ice lolly.
As soon as we had the gangway onboard our 2nd Officer and I went ashore to the kiosk. Of course
with a few stops for pictures.
The shop was open and we entered. I had expected the shop
to be closed. The last few times we have passed it has been closed due to lack of customers.
And as soon as I asked for Diet MAX he pointed to a fridge. I could only see beers so I understood why they don't have any customers.
- No Diet MAX ?
- We only have ordinary Coca Cola
- That's what they use as abortive!
- Do you have and high quality and tasty chocolate?
- We have what you see on the shelf
Hmm, nothing looked like the stuff Captain wanted so I bought Ritter chocolate.
Not very good, but better than nothing.
- Do you have a baseball cap?
- No
- Do you have anything worth buying?
I was not in a good mood when I returned onboard. What a waste of time to go ashore in the lock. They had exactly nothing that I wanted to have. And the Diet MAX , I had really been looking forward to a Diet MAX in the afternoon.
We have about 7 hours from the lock to Kalundborg and we will have a Danish Pilot onboard
most of the time. New regulations, as long as we're not gas free we need a Pilot.
Well, I went to bed for a quick POWER NAP and I asked them to call me at 15:30. I also asked them to instruct the AB on the 4 to 8 watch to have an air hose ready on
starboards #1 manifold for 4 o'clock so we can pressure test the X-Over valves to #1 cargo line.
I was on the bridge just after 4 o'clock and I prepared a cup of tea and our AB pressurised the cargo line to #1 cargo tanks. There were no leaks on the valve and I finished my tea and I returned to my cabin.
- When you go to the kitchen to prepare the afternoon “MYS” knock on my door and I will join you.
He was on my door at 5 o'clock and we went to prepare vegetables and cheese. On the way back to the bridge we picked up our German ham and black bread.
We enjoyed our meal and this food will keep us full until tomorrow. Black German bread and cheese with tomato and bell pepper, can it get any healthier? I don't thinks so.
When we finished our meal I returned to my web page in my cabin and I returned to the bridge when we approached the Great Belt Bridge.
We will be in Kalundborg around 20 thirty tonight and latest news is that we will have to drop our anchor at arrival. Berthing tomorrow lunch and I reallyhope that we will go inside 10 o'clock
tomorrow morning. Then I can go ashore tomorrow afternoon for a constitutional in to Kalundborg. If I'm lucky I can find
STROH Rum and I can try out my latest “PET BOTTLE” plan
Coming on the bridge and I was soon disappointed. I remembered that it was Saturday tomorrow and I asked the Pilot what time the shops closed in Kalundborg. - 1 o'clock
- DARN!
And it looks like we will go alongside between lunch and 2
o'clock tomorrow afternoon so I will miss this opportunity.
Our Pilot left us 10 minutes before 9 and we dropped
anchor at 9 o'clock just North of Havnemark Vig in Kalundborg Fjord.
Our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch was soon joining me on the bridge. He brought his
“HP - Lady 750” lap top and his GPRS dongle.
So he was sitting next to me following my every upload on www.aladdin.st, the wonders of internet.
10 o'clock. I was hoping for a shower s we could rinse all the salt off the ship.
I was hoping for a call from Kalunborg pilots so we could be alongside until 12 o'clock and that would have given me a chance to go ashore
trying to find STROH Rum before everything closed at 1 o'clock. Denmark is like Sweden during the 70's, all shops closed at
1 o'clock on Saturday afternoon.
Now they are open for commerce almost 24/7, at least in the cities. Well, anyway, Kalundborg Pilot called us at 11 thirty and the Pilot would come onboard at 12 o'clock. So we would be alongside between 1 and 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I decided to go ashore in the afternoon and the Pilot told me that it was about 30 minutes to walk to the town.
- But everything is closed, except FØTEX
Captain wanted me to practice ship manoeuvring and he asked if I wanted to take us along side. He also asked for my camera.
- I will take the pictures and you do the manoeuvring, he said.
We had the first line ashore 5 minutes past 1 o'clock and we had all fast 10 minutes later. Our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch was waiting for me stand-by to go ashore for some “ Kalundborg
Exploring
” extravaganza
We left the ship quarter to 2 and we had been walking for 15 minutes when it started to rain. Well, it was just a drizzle but it was annoying. When we came in to the train station it was raining. And the wind picked up and it was not nice at all.
After 30 minutes I told our 2nd officer that we had reached the city centre. Obviously not, but we had been walking for 30 minutes and according to my calculations ( With the Pilot's input) we should be in the middle of the city. Our 2nd Officer was scolding me all the time.
- Don't complain, speed up! Long steps!
He said that we had only been walking for 10 minutes - What's wrong with your watch? I asked.
Finally at the railway station and I stopped at a kiosk to buy me a Diet MAX before we continued towards the city centre. We ended up on a walking
street but there were no people. It was like a horror movie with empty streets and closed shops in every direction. Yes, we're really talking ghost town here.
Our 2nd Officer spotted a sign saying King's pub so
we went to check out the place. I had not finished my Diet MAX
so I had to put the bottle in my pocket. One of the perks with a PET bottle, you can just screw back the screw cap and the bottle is sealed. A different story with the cap on glass bottles.
It was a friendly crowd at King's pub, but they didn't had any Diet MAX so I had to order a Coke Zero. Well, it was OK, not like the ones we have onboard. I don't know where they are made, but I bought a case and it turned out to be a waste of money.
I remember one time when I was with M/T Framnäs in Antwerp. We ordered 12 cases of Diet Coke and it was impossible to drink the piss, MADE IN SOUTH AFRICA and it tasted like, yes, piss. But so far I have failed to get a bad tasting Diet MAX . Well, one time and I think we remember my adventure in Malaysia. I bought a few cans of Diet MAX in an
convenient store. Well, a long story short, I could not drink them so I had to throw them away. But that's my only time being disappointed with the Diet MAX
.
Well, anyway, we walked through a desert town to FØTEX where we bought salmon and Diet MAX before we returned to the ship in a taxi.
We realised that we
needed a plan for our menu. Even though it is healthy we can't just eat several kilos of cheese and salmon on black bread and think that we will lose weight. So we worked out our many while having our afternoon tea and “MYS” on the bridge.
Good, a new menu and a fine system for EXCESSIVE eating so there willhopefully not be any
need to guard my Easter egg from now on. Yesterday evening I saw how our 2nd Officer was peeking on my Easter egg when we were sitting on the bridge. I was behind my DELL He-man 750
so he could not see that I had my spy cam stand-by.
Well, from now on we will be quite serious, no more cheese. Our 2nd Officer added bacon to his Sunday breakfast, but that is OK as long as it is not bread.
Everything in excess to the above menu will
set us back by 2000 SEK or 10000 Baht. If he get caught a couple of times I can have a good night out in Bangkok. Well, my diet is sorted out and I was in a pretty
good mood when I came on my watch at 8 o'clock.
We were told that it would take 17 hours to load, but with the rate we had during my watch we will be ready around 4 o'clock in the morning.
But we're loading from one shore tank and they have told us that the rate might go down when the tank is coming to the bottom. But to be finish at 4 o'clock would be nice, then we willhopefully
have left the Pilot behind and be on our way to Glasgow when I get on my watch 8 o'clock tomorrow morning.
I enjoyed my watch, good music and one or two pots of tea. A good loading rate so it was no problem to top up the cargo tanks. When the rate is slow it can be a wee bit frustrating to top up the cargo tanks. When you open to the next tanks all cargo goes in to the newly opened tanks. And sometimes it can happen that cargo goes from the tank you want to top up to the newly opened and empty tanks.
If you have ever been stealing gasoline with a hose, or if you have made your own wine using a siphon you know what I'm talking about.
Time turned quick and it was soon time for me to go on my watch below. I had to go prepare a “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for tomorrow morning. I passed the day room on my way to the kitchen and our 2nd officer was watching TV. As soon as he saw me moving towards the kitchen he sprung out of the
sofa and he was on me like a sticker.
- 2000 if you eat!
- I will just prepare my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for tomorrow morning!
He was disappointed, he had expected some PRIZE money, but that is not how I operate. I'm taking this diet seriously and I don't think that I will be the first one to get caught.
thirty something and I enjoyed my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® while we were steaming North in the T route.
Time turned very quick, I was busy navigating through the T route and I overtook one vessel so I had to keep an eye on things. But as soon as we had passed Sjællands Rev it was just to go on a straight course, 029° and time turned quite slow. I was hungry, but I
didn't dare to have a snack, never know when the LARD Police is coming around the corner to fine me for excessive eating. I called the 2nd officer on the 4 to 8 watch 8 minutes before 12.
- Are you ready for the lunch on the bridge?
He came to the bridge just after 12 with a plate with vegetables that we put on the bread. We had to wait for the tea to be ready and we finished the lunch 10 minutes later. It wasn't really that much to eat.
I had to have 2 quick coffin nails on top of the black bread to get something that reminded me about a feeling of satisfaction.
We had not been doing our punchbag sessions since last Wednesday and our 2nd Officer asked if we should have a session at 1 o'clock.
-FER F@CK'S SAKE IT IS SUNDAY!
- We have had 3 days of rest
- Yes, and this have been very good for my shoulder
I was in my cabin when it knocked on my door. It was 2nd Officer, changed for sport, asking yet again if we were going to have a session with the punch bag.
- No, I need to rest my shoulder.
- OK, I do it by myself.
I closed my door and I changed to my SPORT clothes and went on deck to join him.
What the!!?? No one at the punch bag. And his door is closed, what is going on? I knocked on his door and he opened the door. He hadn't expected me and a look of guilt came over him and he
slammed the door shut in my face.
- What the
I opened the door and he was fiddling about with something on his desk. I discovered a late with cantaloupe
- What are you up to? I asked.
- Nothing!
I started to search his drawers andI found a pack of Maryland cookies in the second drawer.
- IT IS NOT OPENED!!!
- Are you eating cookies in your cabin?
- It was left here by the previous 2nd Officer
- Are you shitting me? Previous 2nd Officer ate nothing but health food!
He was embarrassed but as long as I don't
caught him eating there is no fine.
We got out on deck and we started our punch bag session and it was nice, when we were ready so I could return to my cabin for a Diet MAX and a POWER NAP.
Next meal in 3 hours and 15 minutes, 3 slices of black bread and some smoked halibutt fish or whatever they call it. I don't know
what it is but 2nd Officer said that it was good. We bought a pack and I can't wait to finish the halibutt so we can start with the salmon. And who thewant to eat hallibutt when there is Salmon and fish fingers? Beyond comprehension!
2nd Officer called me quarter to 5 and at 5 o'clock he banging on my door.
- DINNER!!
- I'm coming!
I took a pair of the Irish boxing gloves that I got when I
bought my shoes. Our 2nd Officer has showed some good spirit and he deserves a pair even though we had to go through the “Maryland Cookie” incident earlier during the day.
Hallibutt, that was a pleasant surprise, it was as good as Salmon, maybe better.
So I gave our 2nd Officer an ear full.
- Why did we only buy one pack??!!
Our hero's adventure continues on May 2011 -Part 2
the morning. I should have been in bed a long time ago. But I still have some drivel to puton my web page. Is the same every time I'm ashore. I'm losing time and on top of that I have new pictures to upload. Luckily enough I got an hour of sleep when we came back from Lakesideshopping mall yesterday. But now I'm off to my bed.I was called for at 7 thirty and I looked out my window to discover sunshine. Good, nice weather is welcome. I had my shower and then I opened my door to check out if our 2nd Officer had put his empty Easter egg outside my cabin door.
I need something to put my hazelnuts in and our 2nd Officer told me that he would put his egg outside my cabin.And I have another Easter egg to think about as well. Coming on the bridge and I did my Easter egg routines while waiting for my tea to be ready. It was blowing force 5 from NE when I came on my watch and it looked cold outside even though the sun was shining. But according to the forecast the wind were going to decrease.
Well, a force 5 is nothing so I can't complain, especially on route to
Mongstad, Norway. Then this is considered as gorgeous weather.Our guy from C-Survey were busy with our fixed gas detector on
the bridge. We tested the equipment yesterday and today we're going to calibrate it.We finished our gas detection system and it was soon time for lunch. I called my 1 o'clock punch bag training partner 20 minutes before 12. We are going to have an SMS meeting at 1 so we will have to get on with the punch bag at 12. Good, no time for lunch.
So we had to do our exercise after 12 o'clock and we finished in time for the meeting at 1 o'clock.
Lo and behold, I felt asleep after the meeting and I woke up when 2nd Officer on the 12 to 4 watch knocked on my door 5 past 4. Time for my second session with the punch bag for today.
+++++++++++++++
Monday 2 nd
of May 2011
and same morning routines as I always do. Taking the Easter egg picture starts to turn a wee bit boring. But I'm afraid that I will eat the egg if I'm not doing this everymorning. The wind had picked up during yesterday evening, but today it was back to almost nothing. Force 3 to 4 from South.I was checking the ODME with the guy from C Survey after my watch so we were 15 minutes late with our punch bag session. And it is getting colder by the hour, we are moving North and it was around 8 °C. In the sunshine it was 17°C but the punch bag is in the shadow so we had to work ourselves warm. And I felt a sleep after our
session with the punch bag and we were moored when I woke up again.But the cargo arm was not connected so obviously we had not been moored for many minutes when I woke up and looked out my window.
I also discovered e-mail from STROH Rum in Austria, and a e-mail from theDanish importer. Yes, STROH Rum's marketing provides a very good service and now I know where to find STROH Rum when we're at the shipyard in Odense.Good news indeed and I was in a good mood. I still had a few hours to kill before I had to go kick arse on the bridge. Loading had started at 18 thirty and we expect to be ready tomorrow morning. We have 36 hours
to Hamburg so I will have time to prepare Slop Tank Stb for the ship yard.I have 16m³ of Gas Oil in the tank and I will transfer the Gas Oil to Port side tomorrow. The Gas Oil has
hopefully dissolved the old sludge in the tank so we can have a clean and gas free tank at arrival to the ship yard in June.+++++++++++++++
Tuesday 3 rd
of May 2011
and it was a glorious morning. I have never seen Mongstad like this before. Well, we completed loading 5 minutes past 8 o'clock and the Surveyor wasonboard after 10 minutes. So I had to enjoy my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® and morning tea while the Surveyor did his paper work.And thinking of it, my tuna surprise is more like an
onion surprise. The onion comes in the size of a football and there isn't much space for anything else on the plate. But onion is supposed to be very healthy so I want to have 2 per day, never mind the size.Pilot was ordered for 10 thirty so our AB had time to prepare for the tank cleaning. I had the AB on my watch to prepare all the equipment yesterday evening and now it was time to set it up.
Mongstad to Bremen voyage for us and they needed some figures. She told me that itwas snowing in Go:teborg, on the 3rd of May!!It was a busy morning, I had a lot of tea to drink so I almost forgot my Easter egg.
Yes, that's how fun I think it is. And we will see for how long the egg will last. It is not only me drooling over the darn Easter egg. But I know that I will suffer from severe agony if I open the darn thing so I will let it be. hour with the Pilot and then we're all by lonesome again. Nice, as soon as the Pilot is off I will start cleaning Stb Slop tank. As soon as the Pilot was off we transferred the content to slop tank port and then we started to wash the tank.I looked down the tank and it looked like new. By now it was 5 past 1 o'clock and I should have been at the punch bag. We started the forced ventilation
and I went to my cabin to change for the punch bag session.I had expected to find the 2nd Officer practicing to skip rope at the punch bag, but there were no sign of him at the punch bag.Hmm, I thought he was serious with his exercise and he need to
practice his skills with the skipping rope. Well, he was nowhere to be found andI had to call the bridge.- Have you seen Killer?- Yes, he is sitting here- What the? Send him down!- He is on his way!I made a set of sit ups before going on deck and when I came on deck I discovered that it
was very cold in the shadow. In the sunshine it was OK, but at the punch bag there is now sun. So I had to go back to my cabin to get my winter cap.So we didn't hang around the punch bag longer than
necessary. And of course, I had slop tank stb to think off when we had finished the punch bag session.But we did all the exercises before we finished the session. Cold or not, looking good is important so a little freezing is something we have to take.
As I said to 2nd officer:
- You have to feel pain!
As soon as we finished I went on deck to check out our slop tank, now the forced ventilation had been running for an hour so it should be OK to enter the tank for inspection.
didn't woke up until 6 o'clock. Good, I overslept the dinner. Calories that I will never have to eat.But I prepared my dinner, and “ MEAT BALL & ONION SURPRISE ” ® that I will have on the bridge tonight. And I prepared my breakfast / lunch for tomorrow, an original “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ®.
And I will have a pot or two of tea to chase down this delicatessen.
I was way too busy
this morning for my push ups and squat down exercises, but yesterday evening I did them and now I'm upto 20 squat downs every 30 minutes. And I will continue on this path tonight, and who knows? Maybe I will be able to increase my push upsfrom 10 to 20 per set? Well, I'm happy if I can manage to make 10 every 30 minutes.Well, turned out that I had to wait with my exercises until tomorrow. I didn't feel so very good in the evening. I was in a bad mood and my clothes felt way too small. Yes, I finished all my hazelnuts in one pop and, well, I didn't feel like doing any squat downs or push ups during my watch.
I did one set and then the AB on my watch brought a diet drink and I spent the rest of the watch sitting down scratching my behind.
So it was very nice when I could return to my cabin at midnight because I'm in a hurry to start a new healthy day tomorrow.
+++++++++++++++
Wednesday 4 th
of May 2011
and the sea was like a windmill pond when I came on my morningwatch. Gorgeous weather and most of my morning tiredness disappeared. I did my Easter egg routines while waiting for my tea and then it was just to sit down keeping 150° towards Elbe Pilot. ETA 22:00 so that means that I managed to dodge most of the Pilot time up River Elbe to Hamburg. We will have 6 to 8 hours from Elbe Pilot station to Hamburg so we will most likely be alongside when I wake up tomorrow morning. NICE!We will get a new 2nd Officer and Captain in Hamburg so it looks that I will be down to single sessions with the punch bag until the 2nd Officer comes back in 4 weeks.
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have a list of shops selling STROH Rum in Odense.So I played Austrian music on the bridge and. Well, I don't know, but there might have been the Austrian feeling on the bridge this morning. For sure, there were something, but it might just have been my good mood.
 |
 You will soon enjoy the Austrian spirit from the comfort of your own armchair. |
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The time turned pretty quick and it was soon time to go on my watch below. We have our boxing session at 1 o'clock. But first salad for lunch and I have to do some
STROH Rum
The brand started in 1832 at Klagenfurt, named after the founder Sebastian Stroh. It was awarded a gold medal at the 1900 Exposition Universelle in Paris. Today Stroh is available in 30 countries. The overproof versions are seldom drunk neat, but used for the concoction of Jagertee, of punch (especially the Feuerzangenbowle variation) or a Flaming B-52 cocktail. Stroh is also an important ingredient for cakes and pastries of the Austrian cuisine.As the state of Austria–Hungary had no access to colonies in tropical regions, rum producers originally tried to replace the sugarcane molasses aroma by a mixture of flavourants and dyes added to a diluted ethanol basis, referred to as Inländer-Rum ("domestic rum"), a substitute that over the years became a speciality. Today Austrian rum is made from sugarcane by-products according to European Community regulations, while the typical Inländer flavour is provided by traditional essences. The production is standardised by chapter B23 of the Codex Alimentarius Austriacus.
The rum is available in four variants, Stroh 40, Stroh 54, Stroh 60 and Stroh 80. The number represents the Volume percent of the Alcohol by volume, in other words, 80, 108, 120 and 160 proof (US) respectively.
From www.wikipedia.org
next to the mess room.Just a few meters away so it is pretty convenient.2 plates of salad topped with some chicken curry with plenty sweet pepper. Yes, plenty antioxidants so I don't need to worry about being sick.
I wasn't hungry, but I need some salad and it is nice to socialising a bit
after my watch. I have my black bread and “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® with my tea on the bridge. And the black bread keeps me full for hours. What a difference from the toast, you are hungry after 15 minutes after a few toasts.I went to my cabin after the lunch and I had time for a few words on
my web page before it was time to get down on the floor for a set of 20 sit ups. Standard routine before our punch bag session.  |
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weather or if it were us working ourselves warm, but after the 300 punched I had to take off my winter cap.We finished our session and I went to check out my
laundry and while waiting for the dryer to be ready I had a few words on my web page. DARN! I felt asleep and I didn't wake up until 5 thirty in the afternoon.We got details for our next voyage, Mongstad to Bremen. Minimum 11000MT of CPP (Clean Petroleum Product) But we will get loading instructions within a few days so I can do the planning for the cargo and prepare my paper work. One step ahead as I use to say.
going down to get my laundry.- No boxing today?
I had expected him to call me 10 minutes before 4 o'clock.
- I didn't dare calling you!
Well, anyway, he told me that we would drop anchor at arrival to Elbe Pilot station.
- For how long?
- We're going to be in Hamburg tomorrow night.
- I don't mind waiting!
I went to the kitchen to prepare my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for tonight and for tomorrow breakfast/ lunch before going to the bridge.
Scratching my behind on the anchorage is OK, but kicking arse alongside is better.
+++++++++++++++
Thursday 5 th
of May 2011
and it was a glorious morning on Elbe anchorage when I came on mymorning watch. Sun was shining and no wind at all. Latest news is Hej Nisse,
Der findes masser af Stroh rum i Frederikshavn.! Jeg spørger lige min kollega Jens i Jylland, hvor det kan købes. (Translation from Danish to English: There are more STROH Rum than you can dream of. I will ask my college Jens on Jylland to get some addresses)
I got an instant reply:
Hej Jacob
Her er lige et par stykker .
SuperBest Læsøgade 16 9903 Frederikshavn
Damsgaard Havnegade 16 9900 Frederikshavn
(Translation from Danish to English: Here are some of the places selling STROH Rum)
I was puzzled. Just a few weeks ago I got an e-mail that it was impossible to get STROH Rum in Fredrikshamn, Denmark.
Undersøker i øvermorgon Strohromslæget i Danmark! Ær det något annat du vill ha från Danmark?
(Translation from Swedish to English: I will check out if they have STROH Rum in Fredrikshamn the day after tomorrow. Do you need anything else from Denmark?)
Then next e-mail:
Går iland idag med hemresa imorgon med Ballong. Strohrom som jag kommer ihåg det fanns i Danmark!
(Translation from Swedish to English: I will buy the STROH Rum in Fredrikshamn tomorrow)
And it goes on, 09 Jan 2011 17:50:
Nu har jag kommit hem... Strohromsagenten kommer på tisdag.
(Translation from Swedish to English: I'm back home from Denmark. My STROH Rum Agent is coming on Tuesday. Meaning: I'm f@cking sitting in my sofa with half open mouth and empty eyes)
And it goes on, Sun 09 Jan 2011 23:09:
Agenten på tisdag blir spännande, import från Tyskland blir lösningen då jag inte fann en ml i Danmark.
(Translation from Swedish to English: It will be exciting with the Agent coming on Tuesday, import from Germany will be the solution when I couldn't find a ml in Denmark)
And it goes on, Wed 19 Jan 2011:
Stroh: Systemet förde märket men drog in det för det sålde för dåligt. Försökte beställa av en privatimportör men det var 2-4 veckors leveranstid då de skulle beställas även i Tyskland. Undersöker nu möjligheterna för att återvända till Fredrikshamn och slå till personligen på plats. Verkar som de har tappat marknadsandelar och är inte lika lättåtkomliga (stora) idag...
(Translation from Swedish to English: What a shit load of crap, I had expected more from a guy with a lifelong experience from lying and coming up with bullshit stories. Now “HE” is considering to go to Fredrikshamn in person to buy the STROH Rum, well didn't he send a e-mail a few days ago that he would check it out in person. And then he wrote that “HE” wasn't able to find STROH Rum in Denmark )
Do you think it stops there? No, Wed 19 Jan 2011:
Trodde att denna vara fanns i lager och lättåtkomlig som förr!
(Translation from Swedish to English: What a shit load of crap! I thought they had it in store and that it was as easy to get as back in the day. Fer f@cks sake! From a guy that had never bought any STROH Rum )
And the prize winner, I confront him about his previous STROH Rum purchases and the shit load of crap he is coming up with, Thu 20 Jan 2011 02:26
Ta det lugnt! Allt är under kontroll! Jag köpte Stroh när jag var 16-18 år för den var den billigaste och effektivaste fyllan på skidresor. När man blev äldre och visare så kom man på att det fanns andra sorter som kanske var lite bättre! Det är därför jag känner till det här brännvinet, kanske det var när mellanölet försvann från Sverige...
(Translation from Swedish to English: Take it easy! Everything under control. I bought STROH when I was 16 to 18 years old because it was the cheapest and MOST EFFECTIVE to drink during my skiing holidays. What the F@CK!!?? Ordering STROH Rum in Sweden to bring on the skiing vacation in Austria where the STROH Rum is for free! )
I spent my watch eating “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® drinking tea and reading Bangkok Post. Of course, I did my exercises, but I forgot it until 10 o'clock so I never did as many as I had wanted to. But there is a day tomorrow as well. I doubt that there will be much exercising tonight, arrival around
9 and it will look strange if I do pushups and squat downs while doing paper work with the Loading Master.Time turned pretty quick and I was soon relieved by our 2nd Officer on the 12 to 4 watch.
I thought that I was going crazy when I returned to my cabin. I heard bird twitter and I thought what the
? I looked around and I saw something movingbehind my plant in the window. A bird! How thedid the bird manage to get in to my cabin?I grabbed him in my hanky, you really don't want to touch a bird! Never know what kind of stuff they are carrying around. But then again, people are afraid of touching birds and stuff and at the same time they are smoking
likethere is no tomorrow. Well, maybe there isa slim chance to experience tomorrow if you're a smoker. Or if you walk around touching birds, what do I know?Well, anyway, I brought him on deck and he didn't want to get of my hanky so I had to shake it a wee bit in order to get the bird down on deck. Looked like he was sick so I was glad that I never touched the bird. Or maybe he was exhausted, never mind, I washed my hands before giving him some of my black bread and some water.
All for nothing, next time I checked on him (5 minutes later) he was dead on deck.
. I don't know if it was due to the death of the bird or due to hard work, but I was tired and I went to bed at 2 thirty.I don't know if I managed to fall asleep, but I know that our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch knocked on my door at 3. We had cancelled the 1 o'clock punching bag session. We didn't feel like punching a bag and the deck was a wee bit wet and slippery. So we decided to do it at 3 o'clock.
When we came to the jetty our on signing 2nd Officer was waiting on the jetty and he was onboard at 23:30 when the shore gangway was down on deck. Our on signing Captain was onboard 10 minutes later. Well, it was almost midnight and I was off to my bed in my cabin.
+++++++++++++++
Friday 6 th
of May 2011
and I came up to a glorious day. We were discharging and we expect to be ready around 15 thirty. That was the only black cloud on an otherwise blue sky, I will have to spend 4 hours with the Pilot tonight. for the airport at 11 o'clock. And of course, it didn'ttook long for our on signing Captain to discover my Easter egg.- What is this?
I could see that he was just about to rip it open.
- EH EH EH!!Time turned quick and it was soon time for lunch. When Captain left the table I offered our 2nd Officer some of the toffee from Easter. He is on a diet with me but as
soon as he saw the toffee he lost his straight face he had put on when I mentioned the toffee.I told him that it was OK with one. He was smiling and jumping up and down in his chair. He was just about to take 1 when I brought out my camera and he dashed off screaming: “TAKE AWAY YOUR CAMERA!”
I was tired after my watch so I asked our 2nd Officer if he wanted to punch the bag at 1 or 3 o'clock.
- What do you want? He asked.
- Never mind, up to you
- 3 o'clock is better, he said
- OK, wake me up before 3, I said and I went to bed.
He knocked on my door 5 minutes before 3 and I must have been in some kind of coma. I was
drowsy with sleep and this was the worst punch bag session since I came onboard. DARN!He asked if I wanted to change back to our 1 o'clock routines.
- Maybe better if you want to sleep?
I asked him to call me 20 minutes before 3 o'clock instead. If I get 15 minutes in a hot shower before the punch bag session it will be OK.
Hopefully. Well, anyway, I returned to bed when we were finished with the punch bag and I felt asleep and I didn't woke up until almost 7. By then we were on our way down River Elbe and we changed Pilot in Brunsbüttel around 9 o'clock. he was quick to grab a paper.
- Oh! Is it you? I'm busy with important paper work!- My arse!
- I'm very busy!
- I thought you were practicing skipping rope, I said.It was a beautiful evening on River Elbe and I was enjoying my tea while talking to the Pilot. He was from former East Germany and it is strange how most of the people from Eastern Germany defend the shitty country.
- I had a good life there!
He explained that he was feed up with people that never lived there complained. They don't know, they only read propaganda. It went on like this and he was, well, not aggressive about it. But he was really upset every time I said something bad about East Germany. Well, that was until he found out that I had spent plenty time in the country. Hell, I was even picked up by 3 or 4 police cars
in Rostock.And there was a remarkable change when he found out that I had been in East Germany.
- Yeah, it is much better now!
- Of course it is, I said.
We had the tide with us and we were hauling arse, 18 knots and we expected to leave the Pilot at
Elbe around 23:00. Good, quicker than expected.- For me, not for you. I can get off earlier but for you it's never mind, our Pilot said.
I explained that it was nice to get the Pilot off the ship and that I would be alone.
- Why?He could not understand. It was SO EXCITING on River Elbe with all the traffic. Well, I never tried to explain. We left the Pilot 10 minutes past 23 and I was soon off my watch.
+++++++++++++++
Saturday 7 th
of May 2011
and it was still nice weather when I came on my morning watch. It was colder and the wind was picking up slowly. But blue sky and sunshine. during my watch. I started my watch with 2 pain killers andI was soon on the floor doing push ups. Yes, the wonder of pain killers.I was in the middle of my first set of squat downs when Captain came on the bridge.
- What theI don't know if he was surprised or chocked to see The 2-Ton Superman in the middle of his exercises.
Well, this was my only set of exercises this morning, 1 set push up and 1 set of squat downs. It was time to get started with the bottom flush
of the cargo tanks.I was sitting in front of the computer when I heard a fighter jet and a big
bang. What thewas that??!!I looked around and I spotted the biggest Hornet I had ever seen in the window. Motherf@cker! I just had to take a picture of the beast. Look at it next to our HEAVY DUTY window wipers. The legs are at least 5 cm long and the whole thing must have been close to 10 cm. This is not something that sting, this guy is eating you alive and I realised that I was better off keeping a low profile while he was around.
I have decided to take 2 days off from the boxing. Our 2nd officer on the 4 to 8 watch was
disappointed, but I need to get better in my right shoulder. But as I told him: When I came onboard I did my exercises all by lonesome
Our on signing 2nd Officer on the 12 to 4 watch asked me if I still did my PUNCH BAG exercises.
- Why? Do I look good?
Well, turned out that he wanted to join. Good, I can be back on my TWO sessions per day routines starting on Monday.
Hopefully my shoulder feels better by then. Or I have to do my Bangkok Fight Club routine, pop 2 pain killers before the session start.  |
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kept me company while I had my salad and pannbiff.When we finished our lunch we went on deck to check out our crane wire and the hook arrangement.
We have a new wire onboard (Since 1 year!) and it is about time that this wire gets on the crane.
Life of a wire is 5 years, at least the certificate expires after 5 years. Let's say that the wire cost 10000 US. I'm not sure about the
price, but let's use 10 000 US so we have somefigures to PLAY with. That's 2000 US per year and this wire had already cost the company 2000 US for laying unused deck.But God help me if I have an extra apple Saturday night!
Well, anyway, I had my best guys on the job and the hardest part is to remove the hook and the weight, 6 years of rust and it is not east to remove the bolts keeping it together.
So I returned to my cabin with a plate of “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® and a recommendation
for the company. Order a stainless steel shackle for the crane and we won't have this problem next time.We, WE??!! Who do I try to f@ck? The guys would have had been finished with the wire today if it wasn't for the rusty shackle.
Coming on my watch and we had to arrange a Easter egg
first thing. I forgot all about the darn Easter egg as I was busy in the morning.And when we were finished with the picture with a stormy North Sea in the back, yes, it was blowing a force 7
from East. OK, so it was not exactly stormy, but it was not any nice summer weather.Well, anyway, when we were finished with the picture our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch checked up boxing clubs in Stockholm. He decided to try out the STOCKHOLM MUAY THAI club when he came back home. And this will set him back by 2200 Swedish Scooby dollars per year. That's twice as much as I pay per month at Bangkok Fight Club PER MONTH!!
Same with the 2nd Officer that left us in Hamburg, he joined a club in Malmö and it was free comparing to what I pay in Bangkok. Well, maybe the quality is better in Bangkok, but I doubt it.
+++++++++++++++
Sunday 8 th
of May 2011
and the wind had changed from East to South when I came on my watch 8o'clock in the morning. The guys were busy changing the crane wire on deck.We kept 004°(t) towards Fedje pilot station and we have an ETA at 13:30. Laycan is not until 9th of May so we're only going slow speed and we will drop our anchor when we arrive.
We had some wind yesterday evening, but we have been very lucky with the weather the last two times going to Mongstad and I really
hope that we will have nice weather on our way to Bremen.We were anchored when I came on my evening watch. It was so hot on the bridge that I thought they had the heating on, but the heating is off so the summer is here. And that's even though we can see the snow in the mountains.
Well, nothing good came out of that and I had to get my own “SNOWY MOUNTAIN” pictures.
Our Pilot came onboard 10 minutes before midnight and I was in my cabin when they started to heave up our anchor. Good, we will be loading when I'm coming on watch tomorrow morning. And we will
hopefully have discharged our slop by then.+++++++++++++++
Monday 9 th
of May 2011
and no, we had not started discharging the slop when I came on the bridge10 minutes before 8.What theBut after a wee bit of arse kickin' the slop discharge was up and running at 8. Darn! It was hot and I had to call the enginedepartment so they would start our A/C when I came on the bridge. It was hot andthis was early morning so I can imagine how it would have been during the afternoon.I had an apple after my watch, yes, my new life. After a weekend of both lunch and dinners, on top of that we skipped our punch bag sessions during the weekend. Well, my right
shoulder needed two days of break.But the lunch and dinners was totally unnecessary. So now it is Monday and a new
KICK ARSE life style so an apple for lunch was more than enough.I finished my apple and I lay down on bed and I brought out
book.my Thai Hell, can't remember reading them for at least 2 weeks now so it is about time. Afew minutes in the book I put it aside and I tried to get 25 minutes of power nap beforeour punch bag session.Quarter to 1 I gave up the idea of a powernap and as we were soon to start our punch bag session I never continued with my books. Instead I was jumping out of bed and I threw myself on the
floor starting to do my “pre punch bag session”
sit up routine.Nice to be back in my old routines, I spent the morning on the bridge doing push ups
and squat downs. I was in the middle of my set when 2nd Officer BANGING on my door.- Where is the fire?
- Time, he said
So I had expected him to be changed and ready, well, he had to change his clothes before we could start. Waste of valuable time. When we finished I went to take an inventory of our oil spill equipment and before returning to my cabin I prepared two “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ®.
- WHAT'S THE F@CKING SURPRISE?
- The tuna under the onion!
My plan is to have a “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® with our 2nd Officer on the bridge at 5 o'clock together with a pot of tea.
The second “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® is for tomorrow morning.
Hi...
Yes, we will have party soon because Maria now is in Bangkok and I told her it might be Aladdin can't join with us.Good to know you have new life style now so I will see it is good or not.
So..You can find girlfriend now !
Or handsome first and find and then marry.
In my idea, it doesn't matter if you are fat or not.
If she love you, just love because of you not for and other reason.
Kao jai mai?
Joy has never talked about you. Sorry.
One thing is for sure, it would be a major embarrassment
to return home to FUNKY TOWN as Porky “The human balloon”I checked my weight this morning, I weight more now than when I'n joined the ship back in March. Well, a few days ago it was an ALL TIME LOW and today I'm back on a cubic ton. I don't understand the scale and I realise that it
Before
After
And strange, after a few days with my “Best looking guy in town '11” diet the girls start talking about “finding a girlfriend” and “getting married”. And of course the compulsory “Never mind how you look, it is the inside that counts” bullshit.
And it is always when I have lost a bit, I never hear stuff like “finding a girlfriend” and “getting married” when I'm looking like 500 kg anti aircraft balloon.Hmm, strange, isn't it?
It is just to realise that I will be forever single. I'm born repulsive and that's bad luck, but I
have to face it. I could have been born with a fatal disease, or I could have been born with only one arm or leg. So I'm quite lucky, well, it could have been worse and I will have to learn how to live with it. But I feel like a million and this is thanks to my new lifestyle.I got reactions on my Easter egg picture via e-mail
Yo
You missed a good opportunity to put a note inside the Easter egg saying "this is a present to Neptune" seal it round the edges and launch it as far as it will go into the North Sea, I know it isn't Eco friendly, but as long as the thing is calling you to eat the contents the temptation is always there. Can the captain keep it locked in his safe ?
mightstart talking about me.But I don't hold my breath.I went to my bed to continue with my school books at 3 o'clock in order to be ready for the 4 o'clock punch bag session. Well, our 2nd Officer was busy with voyage planning and we had to cancel.
Darn! And I felt a sleep, but I managedto finish my Thai books before falling asleep.Luckily enough I didn't sleep for very
long and I woke up after an hour. Just in time for a long and hot shower, 45 to 50°C, to make sure I woke up.Yes, I had prepared my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for dinner so I brought one
of my plates and I went to make tea on the bridge where I would have my dinner and thus dodging the mess room. I have my dinner ration of black bread on the bridge, I brought a pack this morning and I had half for breakfast/ lunch. (Between my push ups and squat downs)The first thing I discover is that one of my 4 slices is missing.
- What the- I tried one slice, 2nd Officer on watch said.
I had my tea and when I was finished I returned to my web page in my cabin. I passed Captain's cabin and before I left I was in a bet with him. 350 US
every time he saw me eating in the mess room,except Sundays. Yes, good to be back on track again and I can see myself with a V-shaped torso.I had time for some drivel on my web page before it was time to go and relieve our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch. I don't know, maybe it is the success with my “Best looking guy in town '11” diet that have inspired our 2nd Officer.
Not only is he boxing, he is also doing push ups like there is no tomorrow. And he does push ups with clap.
- Pompous ass!!
Well, I will
hopefully soon be able to do some push ups with clap. But I'm pretty satisfied with all my push ups per day. It was not that long ago when Icouldn't manage to make 1 push up.I enjoyed my tea and it looked like the loading would be ready around midnight, or 23 thirty at best. It was a beautiful evening, the sea looked like a mirror and I was in an excellent mood. Healthy living all day long and I really felt good.
So I wasn't bothered with the
black clouds that had been on the sky since the afternoon.When the AB took down the flags there was a slight drizzle, but otherwise we hadn't had any rain. And it would actually be good with some rain to get some of the salt of the ship.
We completed loading at 23:15 and at midnight I had completed my paper work with the Surveyor.
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Tuesday 10 th
of May 2011
and it was a wee bit hazy when I came on the bridge 10 minutes before 8 o'clock. The wind picked up during my watch and when I got off my watch at 12 we had a force 5 to 6 blowing from the South.I read some Thai before going on deck for our punch bag session. I stepped up on my scale before going on deck and today it was ERROR, meaning that I was out of scale. What the
is this? I'm not eating and I'm gaining weight by the day.We had a DISTRESS RADIO drill after our punch bag session and when we were ready I went to
bed to continue with my Thai book. Well, I felt asleep and I woke up 10 minutes past time. In the nick of time for my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® and tea on the bridge. I was a wee bit late so our 2nd Officer had finished his dinner when I came on the bridge.- He didn't dare knocking on your door, he said when I stepped up on the bridge.
- What??!!
- 2nd officer on the 12 to 4 watch wanted to train boxing at 4 o'clock.
Well, the wind was gone and the sun was shining so I really enjoyed my dinner on the bridge.
We had got a new voyage during the afternoon, Kalundborg to Glasgow and they wanted us to
calculate for 3 grades of diesel from Pembroke to Belfast. So it looks like we will be busy the next week or two. Good, no time to sit down relaxI had time for some drivel on my web page before it was time to go on my watch. I came up on the bridge quarter to 8 and our 2nd Officer was busy checking our compass error against the sun.
- What the? Are you using the computer?- Yes, how are you doing it?
- Old school!
- Can you show me how to do it?
- You don't know how to do it??!! And you're a member in the MasterMariners Guild! What are you doing at your banquets? Drinkingand slapping each others backs telling each other sailor's yarns.I told him to bring the books we needed, the nautical almanac and the sight reduction table.
Of course, we could not find the sight reduction table we needed. We only had the sight reduction table for selected stars. But we managed to calculate GHA and LHA with the nautical almanac.All this without the help from
computers or calculators. 2011 and who the f@ck use old tables? Well, not necessary, of course, the computer does the work for you. But you would be surprised how much people there is having no clue what they are doing, just enter a few figures in the computer.Our 2nd Officer was happy to do it the old school way, it took him 1 minute to get the
hang of it and now he understands the difference between GHA and LHA. And when someone is asking him what he is doing he will be able to answer.Only tables for selected stars and as the 2nd Officer was eager to learn he would come back when it was dark so we could check the stars with the sight reduction table for selected stars.
- See you soon, he said when he left
- That's the spirit! You will soon be the proud of
the Master Mariners Guild!I have a good AB on my watch and it is time for him to leave us. He will sign off in Bremen and when he was ready with the painting on the fo'c's'le I called him on the bridge to hand him his flight details. Well, now I have to see what a guy they send to relieve him.
At 11 o'clock our “Knapp Styrman” was back on the bridge. “Knapp Styrman” is Swedish for a deck Officer just pushing buttons with or wit out any clue what he is doing. But this “Knapp Styrman” was soon turned in to a regular Captain Onedin.
But now he knows how to do it and I got a refresher. And of course, when he was on the bridge time turned quick and it was soon time for me to go to bed.
+++++++++++++++
Wednesday 11 th
of May 2011
and I came up to a gorgeous morning. Slight wind from North. Nothing to write home about. We approached German Bight TSS from the North and we will have tocross 2 TSS to get to Weser Pilot station.I enjoyed my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® and a pot of tea while listening to my “Music treasure”, better known as MUSIK SKATTEN.
I always have MUSIK SKATTEN playing on the bridge and the Surveyor in Mongstad kept asking me what songs it was.
- Very good!
He asked if he could copy my music.
- No problem, it will take 2 hours.
- I don't have that much time.Well, if it isn't the Surveyors it is Pilots and Loading Masters asking about the music. Asking if they can copy it to their USB stick.
- My “Music treasure” won't fit on your USB stick.- We can select a few songs to copy
- Are you aware of how long time that would take to select a few songs from 12000 tracks?
I tried to do a set of exercises when I came on the watch, but I could not manage. I felt already yesterday evening that this would not work. But to watches relaxing my muscles will do me good. But I still don't know what's wrong with my shoulder. 2 weeks now and no sign of any improvements.
I called German Bight Traffic on Ch 80 when we entered the area 10 minutes before 10 o'clock and 2 hours later I called Weser Pilot on CH 6 to give them 1 hour notice. Well, they told us to hold our horses, the Pilot would not board us until 14:15 so we had to slow down our speed. Well, by then I was out of there.
He kept me company while I had my salad. OK, it was not like it took very long to finish the
smallest salad I have had in my life. I had time for some sit upsbefore it was time for our punch bag session on deck.scale now when you have seen my lunch plate.Yes, there is not really much on that plate and the salad disappeared like an Aspirin. Well, it was
sunny so it was nice to come out on deck.5 minutes past 1 o'clock, a few minutes late because we ended up sitting on our arses talking about to good ol' times before I went to do my sit ups in my cabin. But as soon as we were on deck we didn't wasted
any time. We startedby skipping rope and then we started with the punch bag.Deck is full of salt so it is slippery and our 2nd Officer felt on deck when he did his third set of kicks and he felt on deck. But as I told him:
- Get off your arse, it is boxing not chess!!
When we finished we went to the kitchen to prepare our dinner. We're out of tuna and I hope there will come more with the provision in Bremen. But we made a cheese platter and we will bring a pack of black bread for our afternoon tea on the bridge. I made 2 plates, one for my breakfast/ lunch tomorrow.
We had our afternoon tea quarter past 5. Black bread, cheese and some vegetables.
Very tasty and healthy, and a pot of tea on top of that just made it better. And watching the views while going up River Weser did a lot to make the afternoon tea more enjoyable.I returned to my cabin for some quality time when I finished my tea. I wrote a few words on my web page and I got a wee bit sleepy.
So I went to lay down on my bed trying to get an
hour of sleep. I failed to fall asleep and I will try to manage without my POWER NAP and I was back at my deskafter 10 minutes. I looked out my window sometimes after 7 and we were entering the lock in Bremen.So I went on deck, if I'm lucky I can get a few pictures of “In the lock” action. Well, coming on the poop deck and
there wasn't very much action. One AB was sitting on a vent looking out in the blue.So I went forward and when I came around the corner from the poop deck out on tank deck I ran in to
another AB exercising while waiting for us to be ready toleave the lock. Well, seems like they are exercising as soon as they get a chance.- That's the spirit!
I went forward to the fo'c's'le to relieve our 2nd Officer.
We were out of the lock 10 minutes past 8 and we had first line ashore at Weser Petrol 30 minutes later. All fast 21:15 and it didn't take long before we had an onslaught of people wanting papers coming onboard.Well, we managed to send ashore our 3 life rafts
before they started with the cargo arm. We will get 3 new life rafts tomorrow and we will take them onboard when we had disconnected the cargo arm.We must be ready to leave at 13:00 tomorrow afternoon or we will have to wait until 19:00 for departure. They are doing maintenance work on the lock during the afternoon. Well, if we miss the chance to leave in the afternoon I will have to go ashore waste money again. But I think we will be able to leave before 13:00.
+++++++++++++++
Thursday 12 th
of May 2011
and I came up to yet another gorgeous day. I prepared my tea and black bread first thing when I came on the bridge. We expect to be ready around 11 thirty anddeparture one hour later so we will make it to the lockbefore 1 o'clock. Good, I don't need to go ashore and waste money.But I wouldn't mind trying out a new plan I have. So I need to come ashore for some shopping, STROH Rum in pet bottles.
Yes, STROH Original is available in various sizes of its unmistakable flask-bottle. Special traveller sizes are offered also in PET (plastic) bottles.
- IN PET BOTTLES!!??
Yes, I know, but check this out. I will bring back 12 litres
to Bangkok and 12 litres in glass bottles will be a wee bit too much at check in. So I haveponder over the problem and I came up with the PET BOTTLE plan.I will buy 3 litre bottles and 9 litres in PET bottle
and when I finish one of the glass bottles I will refill it with a funnel. I will save a lot of weight by doing it like this. Of course, I will have to hide the PET bottles so no one will everdiscover them. Who want to have a PET bottle on the table?OK, my Diet MAX is coming in PET bottles so they are allowed on the table. They are not coming in glass so I really have no choice.
Well, anyway, we completed discharging at 11:25 and our Surveyor came onboard at 11:35 and I meet him on deck when I went to check our draft from the jetty.
And it is spring time and the seagulls are watching their nest so it is really dangerous to goashore checking the draft. When you come close to their nest they are flying around you screaming at you. And if you're too close they will attack you, no joke. They are very dangerous.So what to do if you're under attack? You will most likely not have a broom with you so try to find a branch or something and hold it upright over your head.
Why? The Seagull attack the highest point and you have time to run to safety before the Seagull have chewed their way down to you head. A HOT TIP IN SPRING TIMES!
could have done it by myself, But I felt asleep. I didn't wake up until 10 minutes before 5 o'clock so I went straight to the bridge after the shower for our afternoon tea with German ham and fresh black bread.I had to run on deck when we had finished our afternoon tea, problem with one of the valves and Chief Officer had to give a few pointers on deck. When we finished I returned to my cabin for a few words on my web page.
We were just about to pick up the Elbe Pilot when I came on my watch at 8 o'clock and we expect around 3 hours to the lock in Brunsbüttel. Good, I can go ashore to see if I can find a few Diet MAX in the kiosk.
They are repairing one of the locks in Brunsbüttel so there is only one lock available and plenty ships. So we had to drop our anchor outside Brunsbüttel. DARN! No chance to go ashore in the lock. We expect to go in to the lock at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning and I will have to spend my watch in the Kiel Canal. Double DARN! I had expected to be in Kiel at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning.
+++++++++++++++
Friday 13 th
of May 2011
and we were in the Kiel Canal when I got on the bridge at 8 o'clock in the morning and we expect to be in Holtenau around 12 o'clock, of course, depending on the traffic. Itwas a beautiful day, but black clouds were approaching so theremight be some rain.Good for the farmers, they have not had rain for 8 weeksand it is getting very dry. So rain is needed.We changed Pilot in Breiholz just after 9 o'clock and the Pilot told me that it was about 3 hours to Holtenau including 2 stops to wait for passing ships on their way to Brunsbüttel.
I called our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch a few minutes before 12 o'clock. He never miss a meal, but I called him to make sure he was in time for the lunch so we could go ashore in the lock.
Yes, I was delirious with anticipation, Diet MAX
. I will soon have one in my hand.- Yo! We're soon in the lock, are you joining me ashore?- Yes- Then get your arse down to the mess room so you can have your lunch before arrival.- I'm on my way!I went on deck to see if there was
anything interesting I couldtake pictures of while our 2nd Officer finished his lunch.was leaving the lock. I was working onboard M/T Margitaback in the 90's and she is still going strong.And later on in the afternoon when I checked up what year I was working onboard M/T Margita I got a
chock, it was back in 1995. 16 years ago!! Time is for sure running quick.We had to wait for 3 ships to get out of the North lock before we could enter the lock as the first ship. First ship, good that means that we will be close to the kiosk so I can buy my Diet MAX and chocolate for the Captain. He asked for ice cream as well. I told him that we had our freezer full of ice cream. Well, he wanted a ice lolly.
with a few stops for pictures.The shop was open and we entered. I had expected the shop
to be closed. The last few times we have passed it has been closed due to lack of customers.And as soon as I asked for Diet MAX he pointed to a fridge. I could only see beers so I understood why they don't have any customers.
- No Diet MAX ?
- We only have ordinary Coca Cola
- That's what they use as abortive!
- Do you have and high quality and tasty chocolate?
- We have what you see on the shelfHmm, nothing looked like the stuff Captain wanted so I bought Ritter chocolate.
Not very good, but better than nothing.
- Do you have a baseball cap?
- No
- Do you have anything worth buying?
I was not in a good mood when I returned onboard. What a waste of time to go ashore in the lock. They had exactly nothing that I wanted to have. And the Diet MAX , I had really been looking forward to a Diet MAX in the afternoon.
most of the time. New regulations, as long as we're not gas free we need a Pilot.Well, I went to bed for a quick POWER NAP and I asked them to call me at 15:30. I also asked them to instruct the AB on the 4 to 8 watch to have an air hose ready on
starboards #1 manifold for 4 o'clock so we can pressure test the X-Over valves to #1 cargo line.I was on the bridge just after 4 o'clock and I prepared a cup of tea and our AB pressurised the cargo line to #1 cargo tanks. There were no leaks on the valve and I finished my tea and I returned to my cabin.
- When you go to the kitchen to prepare the afternoon “MYS” knock on my door and I will join you.
We enjoyed our meal and this food will keep us full until tomorrow. Black German bread and cheese with tomato and bell pepper, can it get any healthier? I don't thinks so.
When we finished our meal I returned to my web page in my cabin and I returned to the bridge when we approached the Great Belt Bridge.
hope that we will go inside 10 o'clocktomorrow morning. Then I can go ashore tomorrow afternoon for a constitutional in to Kalundborg. If I'm lucky I can findSTROH Rum and I can try out my latest “PET BOTTLE” planComing on the bridge and I was soon disappointed. I remembered that it was Saturday tomorrow and I asked the Pilot what time the shops closed in Kalundborg. - 1 o'clock
- DARN!
And it looks like we will go alongside between lunch and 2
o'clock tomorrow afternoon so I will miss this opportunity.Our Pilot left us 10 minutes before 9 and we dropped
anchor at 9 o'clock just North of Havnemark Vig in Kalundborg Fjord.Our 2nd Officer on the 4 to 8 watch was soon joining me on the bridge. He brought his
“HP - Lady 750” lap top and his GPRS dongle.
So he was sitting next to me following my every upload on www.aladdin.st, the wonders of internet.
+++++++++++++++
Saturday 14 th
of May 2011
and we were still anchored when I came on my morning watch. Gloomy and grey weather so the summer has taken a rest. We had a light drizzle passing over us around10 o'clock. I was hoping for a shower s we could rinse all the salt off the ship.I was hoping for a call from Kalunborg pilots so we could be alongside until 12 o'clock and that would have given me a chance to go ashore
trying to find STROH Rum before everything closed at 1 o'clock. Denmark is like Sweden during the 70's, all shops closed at1 o'clock on Saturday afternoon.Now they are open for commerce almost 24/7, at least in the cities. Well, anyway, Kalundborg Pilot called us at 11 thirty and the Pilot would come onboard at 12 o'clock. So we would be alongside between 1 and 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I decided to go ashore in the afternoon and the Pilot told me that it was about 30 minutes to walk to the town.
- But everything is closed, except FØTEX
Captain wanted me to practice ship manoeuvring and he asked if I wanted to take us along side. He also asked for my camera.
- I will take the pictures and you do the manoeuvring, he said.
Exploring
” extravaganzaWe left the ship quarter to 2 and we had been walking for 15 minutes when it started to rain. Well, it was just a drizzle but it was annoying. When we came in to the train station it was raining. And the wind picked up and it was not nice at all.
After 30 minutes I told our 2nd officer that we had reached the city centre. Obviously not, but we had been walking for 30 minutes and according to my calculations ( With the Pilot's input) we should be in the middle of the city. Our 2nd Officer was scolding me all the time.
- Don't complain, speed up! Long steps!He said that we had only been walking for 10 minutes - What's wrong with your watch? I asked.
Finally at the railway station and I stopped at a kiosk to buy me a Diet MAX before we continued towards the city centre. We ended up on a walking
street but there were no people. It was like a horror movie with empty streets and closed shops in every direction. Yes, we're really talking ghost town here.Our 2nd Officer spotted a sign saying King's pub so
we went to check out the place. I had not finished my Diet MAX
so I had to put the bottle in my pocket. One of the perks with a PET bottle, you can just screw back the screw cap and the bottle is sealed. A different story with the cap on glass bottles.It was a friendly crowd at King's pub, but they didn't had any Diet MAX so I had to order a Coke Zero. Well, it was OK, not like the ones we have onboard. I don't know where they are made, but I bought a case and it turned out to be a waste of money.
I remember one time when I was with M/T Framnäs in Antwerp. We ordered 12 cases of Diet Coke and it was impossible to drink the piss, MADE IN SOUTH AFRICA and it tasted like, yes, piss. But so far I have failed to get a bad tasting Diet MAX . Well, one time and I think we remember my adventure in Malaysia. I bought a few cans of Diet MAX in an
convenient store. Well, a long story short, I could not drink them so I had to throw them away. But that's my only time being disappointed with the Diet MAX
.Well, anyway, we walked through a desert town to FØTEX where we bought salmon and Diet MAX before we returned to the ship in a taxi.
We realised that we
needed a plan for our menu. Even though it is healthy we can't just eat several kilos of cheese and salmon on black bread and think that we will lose weight. So we worked out our many while having our afternoon tea and “MYS” on the bridge.hopefully not be anyneed to guard my Easter egg from now on. Yesterday evening I saw how our 2nd Officer was peeking on my Easter egg when we were sitting on the bridge. I was behind my DELL He-man 750
so he could not see that I had my spy cam stand-by.Well, from now on we will be quite serious, no more cheese. Our 2nd Officer added bacon to his Sunday breakfast, but that is OK as long as it is not bread.
Everything in excess to the above menu will
set us back by 2000 SEK or 10000 Baht. If he get caught a couple of times I can have a good night out in Bangkok. Well, my diet is sorted out and I was in a prettygood mood when I came on my watch at 8 o'clock.We were told that it would take 17 hours to load, but with the rate we had during my watch we will be ready around 4 o'clock in the morning.
But we're loading from one shore tank and they have told us that the rate might go down when the tank is coming to the bottom. But to be finish at 4 o'clock would be nice, then we will
hopefullyhave left the Pilot behind and be on our way to Glasgow when I get on my watch 8 o'clock tomorrow morning.I enjoyed my watch, good music and one or two pots of tea. A good loading rate so it was no problem to top up the cargo tanks. When the rate is slow it can be a wee bit frustrating to top up the cargo tanks. When you open to the next tanks all cargo goes in to the newly opened tanks. And sometimes it can happen that cargo goes from the tank you want to top up to the newly opened and empty tanks.
If you have ever been stealing gasoline with a hose, or if you have made your own wine using a siphon you know what I'm talking about.
Time turned quick and it was soon time for me to go on my watch below. I had to go prepare a “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for tomorrow morning. I passed the day room on my way to the kitchen and our 2nd officer was watching TV. As soon as he saw me moving towards the kitchen he sprung out of the
sofa and he was on me like a sticker.- 2000 if you eat!
- I will just prepare my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE ” ® for tomorrow morning!
He was disappointed, he had expected some PRIZE money, but that is not how I operate. I'm taking this diet seriously and I don't think that I will be the first one to get caught.
+++++++++++++++
Sunday 15 th
of May 2011
and we left Kalundborg 07:40 and the Pilot was onboard when I came on the bridge. It was the very same Pilot we had at arrival to Kalundborg. Our Pilot left us at 8thirty something and I enjoyed my “ TUNA & ONION SURPRISE
”
® while we were steaming North in the T route.Time turned very quick, I was busy navigating through the T route and I overtook one vessel so I had to keep an eye on things. But as soon as we had passed Sjællands Rev it was just to go on a straight course, 029° and time turned quite slow. I was hungry, but I
didn't dare to have a snack, never know when the LARD Police is coming around the corner to fine me for excessive eating. I called the 2nd officer on the 4 to 8 watch 8 minutes before 12.- Are you ready for the lunch on the bridge?He came to the bridge just after 12 with a plate with vegetables that we put on the bread. We had to wait for the tea to be ready and we finished the lunch 10 minutes later. It wasn't really that much to eat.
I had to have 2 quick coffin nails on top of the black bread to get something that reminded me about a feeling of satisfaction.We had not been doing our punch
bag sessions since last Wednesday and our 2nd Officer asked if we should have a session at 1 o'clock.-FER F@CK'S SAKE IT IS SUNDAY!- We have had 3 days of rest
- Yes, and this have been very good for my shoulder
I was in my cabin when it knocked on my door. It was 2nd Officer, changed for sport, asking yet again if we were going to have a session with the punch bag.
- No, I need to rest my shoulder.
- OK, I do it by myself.
I closed my door and I changed to my SPORT clothes and went on deck to join him.
!!?? No one at the punch bag. And his door is closed, what is going on? I knocked on his door and he opened the door. He hadn't expected me and a look of guilt came over him and heslammed the door shut in my face.- What the
I opened the door and he was fiddling about with something on his desk. I discovered a late with cantaloupe
- What are you up to? I asked.
- Nothing!
I started to search his drawers andI found a pack of Maryland cookies in the second drawer.
- IT IS NOT OPENED!!!
- Are you eating cookies in your cabin?- It was left here by the previous 2nd Officer
- Are you shitting me? Previous 2nd Officer ate nothing but health food!He was embarrassed but as long as I don't
caught him eating there is no fine.We got out on deck and we started our punch bag session and it was nice, when we were ready so I could return to my cabin for a Diet MAX and a POWER NAP.
Next meal in 3 hours and 15 minutes, 3 slices of black bread and some smoked halibutt fish or whatever they call it. I don't know
what it is but 2nd Officer said that it was good. We bought a pack and I can't wait to finish the halibutt so we can start with the salmon. And who thewant to eat hallibutt when there is Salmon and fish fingers? Beyond comprehension!2nd Officer called me quarter to 5 and at 5 o'clock he banging on my door.
- DINNER!!
- I'm coming!
I took a pair of the Irish boxing gloves that I got when I
bought my shoes. Our 2nd Officer has showed some good spirit and he deserves a pair even though we had to go through the “Maryland Cookie” incident earlier during the day.Hallibutt, that was a pleasant surprise, it was as good as Salmon, maybe better.
So I gave our 2nd Officer an ear full.
- Why did we only buy one pack??!!Our hero's adventure continues on May 2011 -Part 2
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